Silly season means French towns are never lost for words


Colin Randall
  • English
  • Arabic

One week ago, almost everyone in France seemed to be on the road, heading south on the first serious holiday departure date of the summer. These vast movements of people, repeated at intervals throughout the high season, have French television presenters talking solemnly about whether a particular day is a jour rouge or, worse, jour noir - red being grim, black suggesting you should stay at home. I am glad to say that last weekend I was driving against the flow, travelling north to the English Channel.

My route did not include Bouzillé, and this village in the western département of Maine-et-Loire does not at first glance present itself as an obvious tourist destination. Yet, people flocked there in their thousands for this year's festival dedicated to French towns and villages with silly names. The silliness relies in most cases on plays on words. Bouzillé, for example, is unremarkable as a place name when written down. Spoken out loud, it is close enough to bousillé to sound like "screw up", which once meant to raise prices but was adopted, initially by Americans in the early 1940s, to refer to making a wretched blunder. President Barack Obama used it when apologising for having offered posts to two individuals with questionable tax records.

Among other towns and villages represented, there was much indelicate allusion to bodily parts and functions and to rude or moderately rude words or phrases. Vatan, which had hosted last year's festival, qualifies because its name is similar to va t'en, a brisk way of saying "go away". Beaufou literally means "handsome madman", Poil is the correct spelling for bodily hair, Arnac-la-Poste might be an instruction to rob the post office. The list would be incomplete without variations of stupid (Ballots, Andouille and so on) and at least one location that would sound obscene if given its harshest translation into English.

Far from feeling reflected shame, the mayors of these dots on the map of la France profonde are proud that their communes are included in a total of 985 now listed at a website - www.commune-burlesque.com - which resembles an academic record of names variously described as quaint, singsong or burlesque. They are smart enough to see potential for attracting tourists. A national association is steadily growing and, after six years, has 33 members. There is a book as well as the website and association, and all owe their existence to the simple pleasure one former mayor, Patrick Lasseube, took in running a district that included the hamlet of Minjocébos, which translated as "eat onion" in the old language of Occitan spoken in parts of southern France.

I am sure Mr Lasseube's work could find equivalents in most countries. In Britain, for example, a singer named Tom Bliss, fascinated by the signposts he saw while travelling along English country roads between live performances, came up with a song that assembles some of the better examples into the ingredients and cooking instructions of an eccentric pie recipe. For all the fun I occasionally poke at France, my French wife is able to remind me that very early in our marriage her bus home from work in England, if stopping short of our home town, bore a sign announcing that it was going to No Place.

In methodical fashion, Mr Lasseube's site offers a multitude of categories, among them anatomical, culinary, health and naturally drôles de grossièretés (vulgar but funny). Jolly stories are told to explain some of the strange choice of names, not all of which translate as amusingly into English. A brief note mentions that the little community of Poisson in Saône-et-Loire is twinned with Avril (Meurthe-et-Moselle). It is necessary only to know the French for April fool joke - poisson d'avril - to appreciate the simple pleasure, taking my cue from Mr Lasseube, I drew from this small fact.

Colin Randall is a contributing editor to The National and can be contacted at crandall@thenational.ae

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BMW M5 specs

Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor

Power: 727hp

Torque: 1,000Nm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh650,000

Specs

Engine: 51.5kW electric motor

Range: 400km

Power: 134bhp

Torque: 175Nm

Price: From Dh98,800

Available: Now

Wicked: For Good

Director: Jon M Chu

Starring: Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo, Jonathan Bailey, Jeff Goldblum, Michelle Yeoh, Ethan Slater

Rating: 4/5

Recipe: Spirulina Coconut Brothie

Ingredients
1 tbsp Spirulina powder
1 banana
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk (full fat preferable)
1 tbsp fresh turmeric or turmeric powder
½ cup fresh spinach leaves
½ cup vegan broth
2 crushed ice cubes (optional)

Method
Blend all the ingredients together on high in a high-speed blender until smooth and creamy. 

MATCH INFO

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Manchester City 2 (Sterling 22', De Bruyne 82')

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3. Hajj

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The specs

Price, base / as tested Dh135,000

Engine 1.6L turbo

Gearbox Six speed automatic with manual and sports mode

Power 165hp @ 6,000rpm

Torque 240Nm @ 1,400rpm 0-100kph: 9.2 seconds

Top speed 420 kph (governed)

Fuel economy, combined 35.2L / 100km (est)

Company%20profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Ogram%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2017%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Karim%20Kouatly%20and%20Shafiq%20Khartabil%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDubai%2C%20UAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20On-demand%20staffing%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2050%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMore%20than%20%244%20million%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%20round%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Series%20A%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EGlobal%20Ventures%2C%20Aditum%20and%20Oraseya%20Capital%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
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These portfolios are made up of exchange traded funds (ETFs) with exposure to indices such as US and global equities, fixed-income products like bonds, though exposure to real estate, commodity ETFs or gold is also possible.

Investing in ETFs allows robo-advisers to offer fees far lower than traditional investments, such as actively managed mutual funds bought through a bank or broker. Investors can buy ETFs directly via a brokerage, but with robo-advisers they benefit from investment portfolios matched to their risk tolerance as well as being user friendly.

Many robo-advisers charge what are called wrap fees, meaning there are no additional fees such as subscription or withdrawal fees, success fees or fees for rebalancing.

Company profile

Name: Back to Games and Boardgame Space

Started: Back to Games (2015); Boardgame Space (Mark Azzam became co-founder in 2017)

Founder: Back to Games (Mr Azzam); Boardgame Space (Mr Azzam and Feras Al Bastaki)

Based: Dubai and Abu Dhabi 

Industry: Back to Games (retail); Boardgame Space (wholesale and distribution) 

Funding: Back to Games: self-funded by Mr Azzam with Dh1.3 million; Mr Azzam invested Dh250,000 in Boardgame Space  

Growth: Back to Games: from 300 products in 2015 to 7,000 in 2019; Boardgame Space: from 34 games in 2017 to 3,500 in 2019

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The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre 6-cyl turbo

Power: 374hp at 5,500-6,500rpm

Torque: 500Nm from 1,900-5,000rpm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 8.5L/100km

Price: from Dh285,000

On sale: from January 2022 

Remaining fixtures

Third-place-play-off: Portugal v Mexico, 4pm on Sunday

Final: Chile v Germany, 10pm on Sunday

FIXTURES

New Zealand v France, second Test
Saturday, 12.35pm (UAE)
Auckland, New Zealand

South Africa v Wales
Sunday, 12.40am (UAE), San Juan, Argentina

Neil Thomson – THE BIO

Family: I am happily married to my wife Liz and we have two children together.

Favourite music: Rock music. I started at a young age due to my father’s influence. He played in an Indian rock band The Flintstones who were once asked by Apple Records to fly over to England to perform there.

Favourite book: I constantly find myself reading The Bible.

Favourite film: The Greatest Showman.

Favourite holiday destination: I love visiting Melbourne as I have family there and it’s a wonderful place. New York at Christmas is also magical.

Favourite food: I went to boarding school so I like any cuisine really.

Know your Camel lingo

The bairaq is a competition for the best herd of 50 camels, named for the banner its winner takes home

Namoos - a word of congratulations reserved for falconry competitions, camel races and camel pageants. It best translates as 'the pride of victory' - and for competitors, it is priceless

Asayel camels - sleek, short-haired hound-like racers

Majahim - chocolate-brown camels that can grow to weigh two tonnes. They were only valued for milk until camel pageantry took off in the 1990s

Millions Street - the thoroughfare where camels are led and where white 4x4s throng throughout the festival

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying or online bullying could take many forms such as sending unkind or rude messages to someone, socially isolating people from groups, sharing embarrassing pictures of them, or spreading rumors about them.

Cyberbullying can take place on various platforms such as messages, on social media, on group chats, or games.

Parents should watch out for behavioural changes in their children.

When children are being bullied they they may be feel embarrassed and isolated, so parents should watch out for signs of signs of depression and anxiety

The biog

First Job: Abu Dhabi Department of Petroleum in 1974  
Current role: Chairperson of Al Maskari Holding since 2008
Career high: Regularly cited on Forbes list of 100 most powerful Arab Businesswomen
Achievement: Helped establish Al Maskari Medical Centre in 1969 in Abu Dhabi’s Western Region
Future plan: Will now concentrate on her charitable work

Poacher
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Lexus LX700h specs

Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor

Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm

Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm

Transmission: 10-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh590,000

About Seez

Company name/date started: Seez, set up in September 2015 and the app was released in August 2017  

Founder/CEO name(s): Tarek Kabrit, co-founder and chief executive, and Andrew Kabrit, co-founder and chief operating officer

Based in: Dubai, with operations also in Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Lebanon 

Sector:  Search engine for car buying, selling and leasing

Size: (employees/revenue): 11; undisclosed

Stage of funding: $1.8 million in seed funding; followed by another $1.5m bridge round - in the process of closing Series A 

Investors: Wamda Capital, B&Y and Phoenician Funds