He's clinically dead and on life support. He's fine, just slipped in the shower and briefly lost consciousness.
He's a heart-broken old man and a patriot who deserves to live out his days in relative comfort. He's a conniving drama queen who keeps faking medical emergencies to avoid going to prison.
It has been 16 months since Hosni Mubarak delivered one last speech to his people and was hounded from the national stage. But from his gurney, Mubarak, 84, still casts a Sphinx-like shadow over the Egyptian psyche and political scene.
Mubarak's daily health status and living conditions have become one more national guessing game for a country struggling through a messy transition.
Last week, in the middle of vote counting for a tight presidential run-off, Mubarak once again took centre stage.
On Tuesday, the state-run Middle East News Agency quoted anonymous sources with a report that he was clinically dead and his heart had to be shocked into restarting.
The news exploded through the international media. Mubarak was moved from the Tora Prison to a military hospital in a Cairo suburb.
The death watch was on. Several websites quickly popped up to address the question: "Is Mubarak dead yet?" The media even took to speculating about what his funeral might be like and who would attend.
Two days later, one of his lawyers said his heart had not stopped and there was no defibrillation. Mubarak had simply slipped in the shower and was recovering from a head wound.
Blake Hounshell, an editor of Foreign Policy magazine, summed up the confusion as evidence of the kind of Egypt Mubarak had built: "Mubarak's legacy is a hospital system that can't diagnose him properly and a media system that can't report the truth accurately."
In reality, Mubarak may not be clinically dead as much as clinically allergic to the prospect of a prison hospital.
It is noteworthy that his health scares always seem to happen just before or shortly after his transfer from private wings in military hospitals. But last week's drama underscores just how much of a grip Mubarak still has over this country - not just the man but the resilient system he built.
His institutions endure and seem destined to outlive their architect. The recent narrative in Egypt has seemingly centred on the country reverting to old habits that prove how far the revolution still has to go.
Egypt's military rulers, the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (Scaf), have moved to consolidate their power, seemingly backed by a compliant judiciary.
A constitutional court ruling dissolved a parliament controlled by the Muslim Brotherhood, shifting legislative authority back to Scaf.
A military decree on Sunday greatly limited the powers of the incoming president and established the military as a de facto fourth branch of government.
Even the presidential run-off seems like a throwback to Mubarak, with a tight vote (results have yet to be announced) between the Brotherhood candidate Mohammed Morsi and Ahmed Shafiq, Mubarak's last prime minister.
Mr Shafiq emerged from political exile just a few months ago, riding a wave of apparent nostalgia for the stability of the Mubarak era.
The fact that the vote went from 13 diverse candidates to a run-off between the Brotherhood and the security state is itself evidence of a lack of progress. It is a Mubarak-era choice and a depressing prospect either way for many Egyptian revolutionaries.
Despite the setback, Mubarak still represents a genuine Arab Spring novelty - an ousted dictator being subjected by his own people to something resembling due process. Tunisia's Zine El Abidine Ben Ali and Yemen's Ali Abdullah Saleh both escaped their people's wrath.
Muammar Qaddafi, and before him Saddam Hussein, suffered a nasty end at the hands of their own people. Mubarak may, in the eyes of some, be getting off lightly but there is little doubt that his daily reality is a miserable one and that is a victory for his opponents. It just does not feel like one to many people.
It took 18 days to end Mubarak's reign. But the past 16 months have proven that the problem is far larger than just him and his family.
foreign.desk@thenational.ae
England 12-man squad for second Test
v West Indies which starts Thursday: Rory Burns, Joe Denly, Jonny Bairstow, Joe Root (captain), Jos Buttler, Ben Stokes, Moeen Ali, Ben Foakes, Sam Curran, Stuart Broad, Jimmy Anderson, Jack Leach
THE SPECS
Engine: 1.5-litre, four-cylinder turbo
Transmission: seven-speed dual clutch automatic
Power: 169bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: Dh54,500
On sale: now
Overall standings
1. Christopher Froome (GBR/Sky) 68hr 18min 36sec,
2. Fabio Aru (ITA/AST) at 0:18.
3. Romain Bardet (FRA/ALM) 0:23.
4. Rigoberto Uran (COL/CAN) 0:29.
5. Mikel Landa (ESP/SKY) 1:17.
How the UAE gratuity payment is calculated now
Employees leaving an organisation are entitled to an end-of-service gratuity after completing at least one year of service.
The tenure is calculated on the number of days worked and does not include lengthy leave periods, such as a sabbatical. If you have worked for a company between one and five years, you are paid 21 days of pay based on your final basic salary. After five years, however, you are entitled to 30 days of pay. The total lump sum you receive is based on the duration of your employment.
1. For those who have worked between one and five years, on a basic salary of Dh10,000 (calculation based on 30 days):
a. Dh10,000 ÷ 30 = Dh333.33. Your daily wage is Dh333.33
b. Dh333.33 x 21 = Dh7,000. So 21 days salary equates to Dh7,000 in gratuity entitlement for each year of service. Multiply this figure for every year of service up to five years.
2. For those who have worked more than five years
c. 333.33 x 30 = Dh10,000. So 30 days’ salary is Dh10,000 in gratuity entitlement for each year of service.
Note: The maximum figure cannot exceed two years total salary figure.
23-man shortlist for next six Hall of Fame inductees
Tony Adams, David Beckham, Dennis Bergkamp, Sol Campbell, Eric Cantona, Andrew Cole, Ashley Cole, Didier Drogba, Les Ferdinand, Rio Ferdinand, Robbie Fowler, Steven Gerrard, Roy Keane, Frank Lampard, Matt Le Tissier, Michael Owen, Peter Schmeichel, Paul Scholes, John Terry, Robin van Persie, Nemanja Vidic, Patrick Viera, Ian Wright.
2.0
Director: S Shankar
Producer: Lyca Productions; presented by Dharma Films
Cast: Rajnikanth, Akshay Kumar, Amy Jackson, Sudhanshu Pandey
Rating: 3.5/5 stars
2017%20RESULTS%3A%20FRENCH%20VOTERS%20IN%20UK
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFirst%20round%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EEmmanuel%20Macron%3A%2051.1%25%3Cbr%3EFrancois%20Fillon%3A%2024.2%25%3Cbr%3EJean-Luc%20Melenchon%3A%2011.8%25%3Cbr%3EBenoit%20Hamon%3A%207.0%25%3Cbr%3EMarine%20Le%20Pen%3A%202.9%25%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESecond%20round%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EEmmanuel%20Macron%3A%2095.1%25%3Cbr%3EMarine%20Le%20Pen%3A%204.9%25%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
THE%20STRANGERS'%20CASE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20Brandt%20Andersen%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EOmar%20Sy%2C%20Jason%20Beghe%2C%20Angeliki%20Papoulia%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
German plea
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy told the German parliament that. Russia had erected a new wall across Europe.
"It's not a Berlin Wall -- it is a Wall in central Europe between freedom and bondage and this Wall is growing bigger with every bomb" dropped on Ukraine, Zelenskyy told MPs.
Mr Zelenskyy was applauded by MPs in the Bundestag as he addressed Chancellor Olaf Scholz directly.
"Dear Mr Scholz, tear down this Wall," he said, evoking US President Ronald Reagan's 1987 appeal to Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev at Berlin's Brandenburg Gate.
RACECARD
4.30pm Jebel Jais – Maiden (PA) Dh60,000 (Turf) 1,000m
5pm: Jabel Faya – Maiden (PA) Dh60,000 (T) 1,000m
5.30pm: Al Wathba Stallions Cup – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 2,200m
6pm: The President’s Cup Prep – Conditions (PA) Dh100,000 (T) 2,200m
6.30pm: Abu Dhabi Equestrian Club – Prestige (PA) Dh125,000 (T) 1,600m
7pm: Al Ruwais – Group 3 (PA) Dh300,000 (T) 1,200m
7.30pm: Jebel Hafeet – Maiden (TB) Dh80,000 (T) 1,400m
UAE'S%20YOUNG%20GUNS
%3Cp%3E1%20Esha%20Oza%2C%20age%2026%2C%2079%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E2%20Theertha%20Satish%2C%20age%2020%2C%2066%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E3%20Khushi%20Sharma%2C%20age%2021%2C%2065%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E4%20Kavisha%20Kumari%2C%20age%2021%2C%2079%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E5%20Heena%20Hotchandani%2C%20age%2023%2C%2016%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E6%20Rinitha%20Rajith%2C%20age%2018%2C%2034%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E7%20Samaira%20Dharnidharka%2C%20age%2017%2C%2053%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E8%20Vaishnave%20Mahesh%2C%20age%2017%2C%2068%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E9%20Lavanya%20Keny%2C%20age%2017%2C%2033%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E10%20Siya%20Gokhale%2C%20age%2018%2C%2033%20matches%0D%3Cbr%3E%0D%3Cbr%3E11%20Indhuja%20Nandakumar%2C%20age%2018%2C%2046%20matches%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
MATCH INFO
Day 2 at Mount Maunganui
England 353
Stokes 91, Denly 74, Southee 4-88
New Zealand 144-4
Williamson 51, S Curran 2-28
PROFILE BOX
Company name: Overwrite.ai
Founder: Ayman Alashkar
Started: Established in 2020
Based: Dubai International Financial Centre, Dubai
Sector: PropTech
Initial investment: Self-funded by founder
Funding stage: Seed funding, in talks with angel investors
More on animal trafficking
Florence and the Machine – High as Hope
Three stars
MATCH INFO
Delhi Daredevils 174-4 (20 ovs)
Mumbai Indians 163 (19.3 ovs)
Delhi won the match by 11 runs
The years Ramadan fell in May
The biog
Hobbies: Writing and running
Favourite sport: beach volleyball
Favourite holiday destinations: Turkey and Puerto Rico
INDIA%20SQUAD
%3Cp%3ERohit%20Sharma%20(capt)%2C%20Shubman%20Gill%2C%20Cheteshwar%20Pujara%2C%20Virat%20Kohli%2C%20Ajinkya%20Rahane%2C%20KL%20Rahul%2C%20KS%20Bharat%20(wk)%2C%20Ravichandran%20Ashwin%2C%20Ravindra%20Jadeja%2C%20Axar%20Patel%2C%20Shardul%20Thakur%2C%20Mohammed%20Shami%2C%20Mohammed%20Siraj%2C%20Umesh%20Yadav%2C%20Jaydev%20Unadkat%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Name: Peter Dicce
Title: Assistant dean of students and director of athletics
Favourite sport: soccer
Favourite team: Bayern Munich
Favourite player: Franz Beckenbauer
Favourite activity in Abu Dhabi: scuba diving in the Northern Emirates
Fast%20X
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Louis%20Leterrier%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Vin%20Diesel%2C%20Michelle%20Rodriguez%2C%20Jason%20Statham%2C%20Tyrese%20Gibson%2C%20Ludacris%2C%20Jason%20Momoa%2C%20John%20Cena%2C%20Jordana%20Brewster%2C%20Nathalie%20Emmanuel%2C%20Sung%20Kang%2C%20Brie%20Larson%2C%20Helen%20Mirren%20and%20Charlize%20Theron%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A