ABU DHABI // Six bridegrooms and their families have cause to be grateful to Masoud Al Ahbabi.
In an era of expensive gifts, large cash payments and lavish weddings, Masoud’s dowry requirements for six of his daughters in the past few months were positively frugal: Arabic coffee and dates.
“More important than having them spend money on dowries and expensive weddings is making sure they have a solid foundation to start from so they can secure their future,” said Masoud, 57, from Al Ain, a father of 29.
And rather than having his sons-in-law stump up for sumptuous banquets at up-market wedding halls, Masoud insisted that his daughters’ weddings take place at his home.
“If you are blessed with a house where you can gather the families, why ask others to spend money on an expensive place?”
Knowing his sons-in-law were reliable, devout and debt-free was more important, he said.
Viewed as a gesture of commitment with which the groom honours the bride, the payment of dowry – called mahr – is a requirement of the groom under Islamic law.
Dowries are separate from the cost of the wedding and are usually paid in cash, although gifts are also an option.
The bride’s family has the right to request any amount of the groom, said a spokesman at the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowments, or Awqaf.
“In Islam, there is no limit when it comes to mahr, but the smaller the amount, the better because putting a heavy load on the groom’s shoulder is not a good thing,” he said.
Quoting the Prophet Mohammed, he added: “The best is the simplest.”
In an effort to curb the spiralling cost of Emirati marriages, which has led to mounting debts and has deterred some from getting married, the government has limited dowries to Dh50,000, provided newlyweds with financial assistance through the Marriage Fund and hosted mass weddings.
Lawyer Hadeya Hamad said that before Sheikh Zayed introduced the Dh50,000 dowry cap in the early 2000s, wedding costs were soaring out of control. “You would see sums over Dh1 million, which could doom a marriage from the beginning.
“The unreasonable requests led many Emiratis to seek out foreign wives whose families were accepting a fraction of the dowries demanded at home.
“The situation has improved greatly since then and, with the aid of the Marriage Fund, we are seeing more and more all-Emirati weddings.”
Masoud said other Emiratis should follow suit. “We want to tell the families, there is no need for demanding and spending sums of money, which put a burden on our youth.
“Focus on the important things, such as the character of the men and the future of your children.”
tsubaihi@thenational.ae
