Do I stop and help, play it safe, or just keep driving?

Warnings of hoaxes and scams present a balancing act between being too suspicious or appropriately cautious.

"Attention: this message could save your life."

Most people, regardless of gender, probably have received a forwarded e-mail with a subject line like this, warning of hoaxes or traps set by gangs. They might be warning us of things happening far away from where we live, and certainly their authenticity is difficult to verify, but I usually will browse through them and peruse the latest scams.

But it's a balancing act between being too suspicious and just appropriately cautious. "If you have a flat tyre, scan the area before attending to it," was one warning that I absolutely believed, because a flat-tyre scam caught out my uncle in Saudi Arabia one day when he was leaving his office for lunch.

He saw that his tyre was flat, so he placed his briefcase inside the car, and fetched his spare. He just stepped a way for a few seconds, but there was no sign of his briefcase when he checked the car's interior. There were people around, but of course no one saw anything.

Just the other day, I got a message via BlackBerry messenger warning those "inclined to stop and help" that there were gangs luring people into danger by placing an infant car seat at the side of the road with a blanket draped over it.

Sometimes, the message read, criminals will also use a baby doll. The message claimed that these tactics are being used in the UAE, with women mainly targeted because it is believed they are more likely to stop if they see baby-related bait.

If in doubt whether someone may be in real distress, just call the police at 999, the message read. That would be scary enough, but that's not the only tactic to be careful of.

Imagine if somebody calls to you from the side of the road with a bandage on his head or waves what looks like a blood-stained rag. The best plan is undoubtedly to call the police, but it is not always easy to ignore someone in need.

I experienced that dilemma from another point of view. About five years ago in Beirut, I was hit by a speeding car as I was crossing the road to my apartment. It was a residential area and there was even a school nearby, but that didn't seem to worry that driver, nor many others in Lebanon known for their reckless driving habits. It was a hit and run, and while I was lucky I wasn't injured badly, my leg was hurt. To my surprise, most people who passed by were hesitant to drive me to the nearest hospital.

"It is not a trick, I promise!" I told a taxi, which slowed down for a moment before speeding off.

Finally, a woman who was driving her children home from school picked me up and dropped me off at the hospital. Later I was told that most people were afraid of incurring liability if something happened to me as they helped. Even if they're not afraid of a scam, people often don't want to get involved with potential problems with the law.

Even neighbours, who you see every day, sometimes will hesitate to check on that strange sound in the middle of the night just outside their building.

Admittedly, I know that feeling in a way. One time when I was driving with a friend to a Dubai mall, we saw a woman crying on the side of the road. As we drove by her, we wondered whether we should stop. We actually went around in circles debating what to do; both of us had bad experiences before trying to help a stranger in distress.

"What do you think? We could just slow down and ask her if everything is OK from our window?" suggested my friend. But I have had a knife pulled on me in Canada when a friend and I tried to stop an apparently intoxicated girl from walking into traffic. I have to admit, I hesitated. We finally decided that since there were two of us, we would be OK. We made a U-turn with the full intention of helping the damsel in distress. But she had disappeared.

Had we been too cautious? Too chicken? Or was it simply the result of our bad experiences in an increasingly distrustful society?