Jose Mourinho's young boys at Chelsea have not hatched into a dominating team just yet. But don't hen-peck Mourinho just yet - it's early days still, after all. Ian Walton / Getty Images
Jose Mourinho's young boys at Chelsea have not hatched into a dominating team just yet. But don't hen-peck Mourinho just yet - it's early days still, after all. Ian Walton / Getty Images
Jose Mourinho's young boys at Chelsea have not hatched into a dominating team just yet. But don't hen-peck Mourinho just yet - it's early days still, after all. Ian Walton / Getty Images
Jose Mourinho's young boys at Chelsea have not hatched into a dominating team just yet. But don't hen-peck Mourinho just yet - it's early days still, after all. Ian Walton / Getty Images

With apologies to Humpty, you have to break a few eggs to make a Chelsea


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“I have beautiful young eggs. Eggs that need a mum, or in this case a dad, to keep them warm during the winter. When the weather changes, the sun rises, you break the eggs and they are ready for life at the top level.” – Jose Mourinho, speaking this week about his young Chelsea FC players.

Is Jose Mourinho, who apparently likes to hatch more than plots, angling for a new nickname?

The man is becoming so obsessed with eggs that we may soon have to call him “The Speckled One”. Or perhaps “Jose Meringue-ho”.

This is the second time he has compared his players to eggs. The first was six years ago, towards the end of his previous spell at Chelsea.

“When the Class 1 eggs are in Waitrose [the upmarket British supermarket chain] and you cannot go there,” he said, “you have a problem.” Two days later, the yolk was on him as he was shown the egg-sit door.

Then Inter Milan shelled out for his services and he won them the European Coop.

Two references to eggs in six years may not sound like an obsession but it is two more than most football managers summon in their careers.

Apart from those who work as television pundits and comment that any player who seems even remotely sluggish during the Easter Monday fixtures has “obviously had too many chocolate eggs”.

But that is, one assumes, more a matter of contractual obligation than personal choice.

For a man who is rumoured to give a lot of thought to what he says, Meringue-ho seems remarkably ignorant about the hatching process.

I’d always assumed eggs were self-hatching but am willing to be put right. If he could tell me which creature waits for a sunny day before merrily hammering open its own eggs, I’ll be happy to publish a correction.

(Don’t hold your breath on this. Meringue-ho, remember, is the man who said of a veteran Benfica coach: “This could be the story of a donkey who worked for 30 years but never became a horse.” Again, I’d argue that this statement betrays a woeful ignorance of animal husbandry. Donkeys, regardless of how hard they work, do not metamorphose into horses.)

I mention this not to be a pedant – well, not solely – but also to question his credentials as a mother hen. Yes, his nest-feathering skills are second to none but let’s take a look at how his previous Chelsea “eggs” fared after his careful incubation.

Adrian Mutu: Cracked.

Arjen Robben: Poached (by Real Madrid).

Andriy Shevchenko: Flat pancake.

Michael Ballack: Left on shelf, went rotten.

Indeed, it was mainly the fully fledged chicks already pecking around Stamford Bridge when Mourinho arrived who went on to achieve greatness.

It was John Terry who grew up to become the proud, strutting and undisputed cock of the club. It was Frank Lampard who has now lain so many golden eggs that the club cannot bear to throw him in the pot. Even the free-ranging Joe Cole went on to become a little Red rooster (and is now a little Claret and Blue rooster).

So, a word of warning to Mourinho’s young players.

Yes, you have a charismatic and undoubtedly gifted man as your coach.

Some of you will thrive under him but success is not guaranteed. Many of you will be let go to supposedly inferior teams in lower leagues. Who knows, you might even end up, en masse, at the meagre Swiss outfit that turned you over on Wednesday night.

A phenomenon that the eggstroverted Meringue-ho might describe as “putting all my eggs in one Basel kit”.

*

*

SAY, ‘WHAT’S UP DOC?’ OVER ALL THIS FUSS

*

Rugby union star Manu Tuilagi sparked controversy this week when he made a “bunny ears” gesture behind the head of David Cameron, the British prime minister, during a photo call to celebrate the British and Irish Lions’ victorious tour of Australia.

The juvenile prank led to a predictable avalanche of media hand-wringing about cosseted professional athletes setting bad examples to impressionable young fans.

The usual old ground was raked over – including the notoriously boorish behaviour of some England cricketers in the prime minister’s garden after the 2005 Ashes victory.

But aren’t we looking at this “problem” the wrong way?

The issue here is not the childish behaviour of sportsmen, which was ever thus, but the grey area in which the politicians position themselves.

If a political leader wishes to soak up the reflected glory of a successful team, they must become truly part of that team.

Never mind the awkward “grip-and-grin” photo call, held weeks after the triumph at some ghastly, out-of-context garden party.

They should get themselves on the pitch – preferably in full kit, a la John Terry – as soon as the final whistle goes.

That way, they still get their glory but any pranks by “teammates” (which, remember, is how they express affection) are simply taken in the giddy spirit of the occasion.

Never mind bunny ears. If Mr Cameron had been on that pitch in Sydney, he could have been the first world leader to receive a televised Gatorade shower, pile-on and Vuvuzela blast down the lug hole – and still emerged with his dignity intact.

sports@thenational.ae

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F1 The Movie

Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem

Director: Joseph Kosinski

Rating: 4/5

RESULTS

6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-1 Group 1 (PA) Dh119,373 (Dirt) 1,600m
Winner: Brraq, Adrie de Vries (jockey), Jean-Claude Pecout (trainer)

7.05pm: Handicap (TB) Dh102,500 (D) 1,200m
Winner: Taamol, Connor Beasley, Ali Rashid Al Raihe.

7.40pm: Handicap (TB) Dh105,000 (Turf) 1,800m
Winner: Eqtiraan, Connor Beasley, Ali Rashid Al Raihe.

8.15pm: UAE 1000 Guineas Trial (TB) Dh183,650 (D) 1,400m
Winner: Soft Whisper, Pat Cosgrave, Saeed bin Suroor.

9.50pm: Handicap (TB) Dh105,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner: Hypothetical, Mickael Barzalona, Salem bin Ghadayer.

9.25pm: Handicap (TB) Dh95,000 (T) 1,000m
Winner: Etisalat, Sando Paiva, Ali Rashid Al Raihe

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
 
Started: 2021
 
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
 
Based: Tunisia 
 
Sector: Water technology 
 
Number of staff: 22 
 
Investment raised: $4 million 
List of alleged parties
  • May 15 2020: Boris Johnson is said to have attended a Downing Street pizza party
  • 27 Nov 2020: PM gives speech at leaving do for his staff
  • Dec 10 2020: Staff party held by then-education secretary Gavin Williamson 
  • Dec 13 2020: Mr Johnson and his then-fiancee Carrie Symonds throw a flat party
  • Dec 14 2020: Shaun Bailey holds staff party at Conservative Party headquarters 
  • Dec 15 2020: PM takes part in a staff quiz
  • Dec 18 2020: Downing Street Christmas party 
The burning issue

The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE. 

Read part four: an affection for classic cars lives on

Read part three: the age of the electric vehicle begins

Read part one: how cars came to the UAE

 

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
While you're here
Results

5pm: Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (Turf) 1,600m; Winner: Nadhra, Fabrice Veron (jockey), Eric Lemartinel (trainer)

5.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,400m; Winner: AF Dars, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel

6pm: Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,400m; Winner: AF Musannef, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel

6.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,200m; Winner: AF Taghzel, Malin Holmberg, Ernst Oertel

7pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 2,200m; Winner: M’Y Yaromoon, Khalifa Al Neyadi, Jesus Rosales

7.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh100,000 (PA) 1,400m; Winner: Hakeem, Jim Crowley, Ali Rashid Al Raihe

Specs

Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request

Results for Stage 2

Stage 2 Yas Island to Abu Dhabi, 184 km, Road race

Overall leader: Primoz Roglic SLO (Team Jumbo - Visma)

Stage winners: 1. Fernando Gaviria COL (UAE Team Emirates) 2. Elia Viviani ITA (Deceuninck - Quick-Step) 3. Caleb Ewan AUS (Lotto - Soudal)

Key facilities
  • Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
  • Premier League-standard football pitch
  • 400m Olympic running track
  • NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
  • 600-seat auditorium
  • Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
  • An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
  • Specialist robotics and science laboratories
  • AR and VR-enabled learning centres
  • Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
How tumultuous protests grew
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  • Unlike previous French demonstrations there was no trade union or organised movement involved 
  • Demonstrators responded to online petitions and flooded squares to block traffic
  • At its height there were almost 300,000 on the streets in support
  • Named after the high visibility jackets that drivers must keep in cars 
  • Clashes soon turned violent as thousands fought with police at cordons
  • An estimated two dozen people lost eyes and many others were admitted to hospital 
ELIO

Starring: Yonas Kibreab, Zoe Saldana, Brad Garrett

Directors: Madeline Sharafian, Domee Shi, Adrian Molina

Rating: 4/5

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The specs
  • Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
  • Power: 640hp
  • Torque: 760nm
  • On sale: 2026
  • Price: Not announced yet
At a glance

- 20,000 new jobs for Emiratis over three years

- Dh300 million set aside to train 18,000 jobseekers in new skills

- Managerial jobs in government restricted to Emiratis

- Emiratis to get priority for 160 types of job in private sector

- Portion of VAT revenues will fund more graduate programmes

- 8,000 Emirati graduates to do 6-12 month replacements in public or private sector on a Dh10,000 monthly wage - 40 per cent of which will be paid by government

Singham Again

Director: Rohit Shetty

Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone

Rating: 3/5

10 tips for entry-level job seekers
  • Have an up-to-date, professional LinkedIn profile. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account, set one up today. Avoid poor-quality profile pictures with distracting backgrounds. Include a professional summary and begin to grow your network.
  • Keep track of the job trends in your sector through the news. Apply for job alerts at your dream organisations and the types of jobs you want – LinkedIn uses AI to share similar relevant jobs based on your selections.
  • Double check that you’ve highlighted relevant skills on your resume and LinkedIn profile.
  • For most entry-level jobs, your resume will first be filtered by an applicant tracking system for keywords. Look closely at the description of the job you are applying for and mirror the language as much as possible (while being honest and accurate about your skills and experience).
  • Keep your CV professional and in a simple format – make sure you tailor your cover letter and application to the company and role.
  • Go online and look for details on job specifications for your target position. Make a list of skills required and set yourself some learning goals to tick off all the necessary skills one by one.
  • Don’t be afraid to reach outside your immediate friends and family to other acquaintances and let them know you are looking for new opportunities.
  • Make sure you’ve set your LinkedIn profile to signal that you are “open to opportunities”. Also be sure to use LinkedIn to search for people who are still actively hiring by searching for those that have the headline “I’m hiring” or “We’re hiring” in their profile.
  • Prepare for online interviews using mock interview tools. Even before landing interviews, it can be useful to start practising.
  • Be professional and patient. Always be professional with whoever you are interacting with throughout your search process, this will be remembered. You need to be patient, dedicated and not give up on your search. Candidates need to make sure they are following up appropriately for roles they have applied.

Arda Atalay, head of Mena private sector at LinkedIn Talent Solutions, Rudy Bier, managing partner of Kinetic Business Solutions and Ben Kinerman Daltrey, co-founder of KinFitz