My firstborn was a girl. When I was pregnant, I didn’t think differently about my impending motherhood based on her gender. When she was born, I took great joy from the way she curled up her then tiny fingers and the sounds she would make. My challenges were typical of those of a first-time mother: fear coupled with panic and a dash of cluelessness. Both my pleasures and challenges had nothing at all to do with her gender.
I’m carrying my second child now and I’m told it’s a boy. The first thought that came to mind upon hearing that news is how much I will struggle picking clothes for him. Boys’ clothes all seem to look the same to me.
What was really intriguing, bizarre and sometimes shocking is the reaction of some people to my news. Those who congratulated me when they heard I was pregnant would congratulate me again upon learning that I’m carrying a boy.
It’s as if this is double the prize. Some even congratulated me on a job well done only for me to shake my head in bewilderment. Given that billions of women have borne boys before me, I didn’t quite get the extent of my “accomplishment”.
Furthermore, if any accomplishment does really exist, then surely it would belong to my husband who is responsible in a biological sense for determining the gender of the child.
The reactions continued to pour in: elated cheers, overly excited relatives and some disappointments from those who wanted to maintain their self-perceived elevated status of being “boy bearers”.
To a woman who takes enormous pride in her gender, all this was difficult to swallow. To a women who strives for cultural equality for both genders before everything else, all of this felt like a kick on the chin.
What was even more difficult to take was the fact that most of these archaic reactions came from women. Men were less concerned or excited about the gender of my baby. It was mostly women who patted me on the back and with a sure, proud smile handed me the “well done” verdict.
Some women would be possessed with a hint of disappointment either because they have not yet been bestowed with a boy themselves, or they have been and didn’t value the dilution of their “status”. It was also only women who told me that boys are assets who will bring me pride.
In some very intended ironic way, it seems that women’s empowerment is very much in the hands of women themselves.
As we ask others to give us more rights as women, we forget the fundamental part we play in robbing ourselves of our own empowerment.
It is these very gender-biased attitudes, beliefs and actions that are instigated and perpetuated by women that rip away our value, from before we are even born. These lingering gender beliefs that still have a strong grip over women’s psyche are what is stopping women from moving forward, and moving upwards.
Women play a crucial part in other women’s lives in their various roles as mothers, sisters, mothers-in-law and friends. In their beautiful form, they encourage, positively influence, and motivate. In their less appealing forms, they can dishearten, manipulate and pressure. It seems only reasonable to engage in empowering one another before we can ask others to empower us. It seems logical to start believing in our own value before asking others to see value in us. And it starts in the womb.
I look forward to the day where elated cheers are heard equally for baby girls as they are for baby boys. I yearn for times where a “well done” is offered for true accomplishments that challenge the norm and set new standards. And I pray for women to shed their own beliefs about being second-class citizens of life.
As for my girl and my future baby boy, I only hope to bring them up as equal and unique beings, as assets for the world they live in, tall or not, broad shouldered or not.
Rana Askoul is a Dubai-based advocate of women in leadership roles
Picture of Joumblatt and Hariri breaking bread sets Twitter alight
Mr Joumblatt’s pessimism regarding the Lebanese political situation didn’t stop him from enjoying a cheerful dinner on Tuesday with several politicians including Mr Hariri.
Caretaker Culture Minister Ghattas Khoury tweeted a picture of the group sitting around a table at a discrete fish restaurant in Beirut’s upscale Sodeco area.
Mr Joumblatt told The National that the fish served at Kelly’s Fish lounge had been very good.
“They really enjoyed their time”, remembers the restaurant owner. “Mr Hariri was taking selfies with everybody”.
Mr Hariri and Mr Joumblatt often have dinner together to discuss recent political developments.
Mr Joumblatt was a close ally of Mr Hariri’s assassinated father, former prime minister Rafik Hariri. The pair were leading figures in the political grouping against the 15-year Syrian occupation of Lebanon that ended after mass protests in 2005 in the wake of Rafik Hariri’s murder. After the younger Hariri took over his father’s mantle in 2004, the relationship with Mr Joumblatt endured.
However, the pair have not always been so close. In the run-up to the election last year, Messrs Hariri and Joumblatt went months without speaking over an argument regarding the new proportional electoral law to be used for the first time. Mr Joumblatt worried that a proportional system, which Mr Hariri backed, would see the influence of his small sect diminished.
With so much of Lebanese politics agreed in late-night meetings behind closed doors, the media and pundits put significant weight on how regularly, where and with who senior politicians meet.
In the picture, alongside Messrs Khoury and Hariri were Mr Joumbatt and his wife Nora, PSP politician Wael Abou Faour and Egyptian ambassador to Lebanon Nazih el Nagari.
The picture of the dinner led to a flurry of excitement on Twitter that it signified an imminent government formation. “God willing, white smoke will rise soon and Walid Beik [a nickname for Walid Joumblatt] will accept to give up the minister of industry”, one user replied to the tweet. “Blessings to you…We would like you to form a cabinet”, wrote another.
The next few days will be crucial in determining whether these wishes come true.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The biog
DOB: March 13, 1987
Place of birth: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia but lived in Virginia in the US and raised in Lebanon
School: ACS in Lebanon
University: BSA in Graphic Design at the American University of Beirut
MSA in Design Entrepreneurship at the School of Visual Arts in New York City
Nationality: Lebanese
Status: Single
Favourite thing to do: I really enjoy cycling, I was a participant in Cycling for Gaza for the second time this year
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League final:
Who: Real Madrid v Liverpool
Where: NSC Olimpiyskiy Stadium, Kiev, Ukraine
When: Saturday, May 26, 10.45pm (UAE)
TV: Match on BeIN Sports
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
U19 World Cup in South Africa
Group A: India, Japan, New Zealand, Sri Lanka
Group B: Australia, England, Nigeria, West Indies
Group C: Bangladesh, Pakistan, Scotland, Zimbabwe
Group D: Afghanistan, Canada, South Africa, UAE
UAE fixtures
Saturday, January 18, v Canada
Wednesday, January 22, v Afghanistan
Saturday, January 25, v South Africa
UAE squad
Aryan Lakra (captain), Vriitya Aravind, Deshan Chethyia, Mohammed Farazuddin, Jonathan Figy, Osama Hassan, Karthik Meiyappan, Rishabh Mukherjee, Ali Naseer, Wasi Shah, Alishan Sharafu, Sanchit Sharma, Kai Smith, Akasha Tahir, Ansh Tandon
Turning waste into fuel
Average amount of biofuel produced at DIC factory every month: Approximately 106,000 litres
Amount of biofuel produced from 1 litre of used cooking oil: 920ml (92%)
Time required for one full cycle of production from used cooking oil to biofuel: One day
Energy requirements for one cycle of production from 1,000 litres of used cooking oil:
▪ Electricity - 1.1904 units
▪ Water- 31 litres
▪ Diesel – 26.275 litres
The biog
Name: Timothy Husband
Nationality: New Zealand
Education: Degree in zoology at The University of Sydney
Favourite book: Lemurs of Madagascar by Russell A Mittermeier
Favourite music: Billy Joel
Weekends and holidays: Talking about animals or visiting his farm in Australia
The specs: Fenyr SuperSport
Price, base: Dh5.1 million
Engine: 3.8-litre twin-turbo flat-six
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Power: 800hp @ 7,100pm
Torque: 980Nm @ 4,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 13.5L / 100km
Where to submit a sample
Volunteers of all ages can submit DNA samples at centres across Abu Dhabi, including: Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Centre+(Adnec), Biogenix Labs in Masdar City, NMC Royal Hospital in Khalifa City, NMC Royal Medical Centre, Abu Dhabi, NMC Royal Women's Hospital, Bareen International Hospital, Al Towayya in Al Ain, NMC Specialty Hospital, Al Ain
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Started: 2023
Founders: Abdulaziz bin Redha, Dr Samsurin Welch, Eva Morales and Dr Harjit Singh
Based: Cambridge and Dubai
Number of employees: 8
Industry: Sustainability & Environment
Funding: $200,000 plus undisclosed grant
Investors: Venture capital and government
Company profile
Company: Zywa
Started: 2021
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Industry: FinTech
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Results
1. Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes) 1hr 32mins 03.897sec
2. Max Verstappen (Red Bull-Honda) at 0.745s
3. Valtteri Bottas (Mercedes) 37.383s
4. Lando Norris (McLaren) 46.466s
5.Sergio Perez (Red Bull-Honda) 52.047s
6. Charles Leclerc (Ferrari) 59.090s
7. Daniel Ricciardo (McLaren) 1:06.004
8. Carlos Sainz Jr (Ferrari) 1:07.100
9. Yuki Tsunoda (AlphaTauri-Honda) 1:25.692
10. Lance Stroll (Aston Martin-Mercedes) 1:26.713,
Sarfira
Director: Sudha Kongara Prasad
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Radhika Madan, Paresh Rawal
Rating: 2/5
Dunki
Director: Rajkumar Hirani
Starring: Shah Rukh Khan, Taapsee Pannu, Vikram Kochhar and Anil Grover
Rating: 4/5