A change in men’s expectations regarding their prospective spouses illustrates how societal values in the UAE have shifted over the past two decades.
As The National reported yesterday, a study published in the Mental Health, Religion and Culture journal shows a remarkable reversal in the attributes requested by men who use khatabaat – female matchmakers – to help them find a marriage partner. According to five khatabaat from Abu Dhabi and Ras Al Khaimah, male ideas about a suitable wife 20 years ago focused less on physical attributes and more on traditional virtues. Most men sought pious and moral partners who were from a good family, knew how to cook and neither had nor wanted a job. In recent years, however, men have been placing a greater emphasis on the looks of potential partners and many of them are keen to marry a woman who has a job.
The study opens a window into how the values of Emirati society have been affected by global culture – both positively and negatively. On the positive side, as women begin to join the workforce and prove their ability to do more than housework, more men are endorsing and supporting their ambitions. This is significant because, for women, work can mean more than a daily job: it also means engagement in public life. Working allows women to meet other people and have a larger social circle than was possible in traditional society. Above all, it helps them to be financially independent and socially empowered.
On the other hand, the openness of the UAE and the globalisation of ideas and culture has come at the cost of some important long-held traditions and beliefs. In the past, Emiratis – both male and female – placed great value on character, morality and piety in themselves and in others. Nowadays, more emphasis is placed on personal attractiveness and material values.
These changes are not exclusive to the UAE. Many societies have gone through the same process. The best way to move forward is to embrace the positive impacts of globalisation but to hold on to the strong values and traditions of the past.
