Judging you, judging me ... why can’t we let people be?

The inherent tendency of individuals to be “better” and “more right” than someone else is disturbing, writes Rym Ghazal

Based on the clothing worn by the women in this photo, should we judge who is less or more religious? (AP Photo / Kamran Jebreili)

‘He pronounces judgment upon a needle, and at the same time swallows a large pole.” This is an Arabic proverb used to describe a person who is quick in making judgements, but commits wrong himself or herself.

We tend to judge others by applying arbitrary measures and standards such as pedigree, last name, or choices in terms of dress, religion and personal conduct. I find this interesting, because, for instance, no one can choose to be born into a specific family or status.

Consider the story of Brittany Maynard that recently went viral. The 29-year-old American woman was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, with no possible cure. So she decided to end her life, thereby becoming the new face of the right-to-die movement. Her decision to take her own life sparked controversy. While most people expressed sympathy for her, some disagreed with her decision, especially religious conservatives who said that it is unlikely she will go to heaven as she went against God's law, where it is forbidden to commit suicide.

But who are we to judge her actions? Few of us can decide how to end our life, although death with dignity is what most of us want. Most people don’t realise how excruciating pain and extreme circumstances can lead you to do something you never imagined you would.

I remember a neighbour in a Polish town who took her life after suffering for many years from illness and depression. The people of the neighbourhood didn’t want her to be buried in their cemetery as she had “sinned” by taking her life. After long discussions, however, she was buried in the furthest corner of the cemetery, together with those who died “atypically”. Thus, discrimination is applied even in death.

Closer to home, there is another example of how a woman is treated based on her decision over wearing the niqab. Saudi activist Manal Al Sharif sparked controversy for talking about removing her niqab in an article and analysing the history behind the veil and abaya.

It was a bold piece, because anyone who dares to question the Wahhabi interpretation of hijab, the choice of black clothes, as well as other rigidities faces condemnation from the more conservative members of society. The amount of hateful comments she has received says more about the responders than it does about the writer.

I just have to look at old family photo albums to see what Arab women wore. Looking at their clothing in these photos, should we judge whether they were less or more religious. Only the Almighty knows what is in our hearts.

All faiths have a variation of the belief that religion is defined by your treatment of others and by your manners. Treat others as you would like to be treated is something many judgemental and self-proclaimed righteous people should be reminded of, especially those who ruin others’ lives with their action.

This inherent need to be “better” and “more right” than someone else is disturbing. I think it is one of those sentiments that leads the misguided to join extremist groups, as all they try to do is impose their twisted interpretation of Islam on others and feel entitled to kill people under the excuse of Islamic rules.

It’s easy to dismiss them as mentally ill, but they are more than that. A UN report mentioned that foreign jihadists are swarming into Iraq and Syria on “an unprecedented scale”. Many of them think they have found some meaning in their lives, even if that meaning includes destroying people’s lives on the basis of their twisted judgements.

On Twitter: @arabianmau