Many of our readers will have had mixed feelings about yesterday’s report on women turning to the courts to marry the man of their choosing. For those from societies that value independence, the notion that a woman could not choose her husband will seem surprising. For those from societies that emphasise family bonds, there is an understanding that marriage involves two families, not merely two people.
Many, however, will sympathise with women such as Fatima from Umm Al Quwain. Her choice of husband was rejected by her family on several occasions because he held a different tribal name and was considered “beneath them”.
This newspaper’s view is to advocate a balance. The family or tribal structure in the UAE works well in most cases. This is, after all, a society built on respect for family and elders. Most Emiratis seek their family’s input in many important decisions, from what career to pursue, to whom to marry. Moreover, under Islamic law and tradition, women cannot be married without their consent.
The tension, therefore, comes when families cannot or will not compromise. Usually, it is a question of tradition, rather than religion or the broader Emirati culture – few parents, after all, wish to see their daughters miserable in marriage. In those circumstances, where there is no compromise, where the wishes of the woman and the wishes of the family cannot meet, then it seems right that the legal system – with proper safeguards – makes the decision. In the end, in a country based on citizenship, the rights of the woman under the law should trump the wishes of her family.
An application to the court, however, is not merely a formality. The courts will conduct their own investigations into the groom, to check if allegations against him are true. This is in keeping with the courts’ enhanced role in family issues. For example, if an application is made for divorce, the court will seek representatives from each family to try to resolve the issue. Only if arbitration is unsuccessful is divorce granted.
Marriage is a deeply personal issue and it is not surprising that families have strong feelings about it. But when familial protectiveness begins to impose itself in a negative way on women, it is right that they can seek the protection of the courts.
