The reaction of friends to a dramatic weight loss is fascinating. The chaps say things like, "You look fantastic", which immediately makes you wonder what you used to look like. Girlfriends often say they hate you. They really mean they wish they had lost the same amount of weight, too, but when it comes out like that it's a bit of a shock. They all want to know how you did it, but before you launch into the saga of your five-month effort that involves eating carefully, exercising more and changing just about every sedentary lifestyle habit you've acquired over the years, their eyes glaze over and they say things like: "I could never do that. I need a quick fix."
The trouble is that both you and they know perfectly well that there is no such thing. You can't lose 9kg of unsightly blubber overnight. It takes effort and commitment. After a lifetime of yo-yo dieting for a million different reasons - the school dance, my wedding, to lose the tummy after the children arrived, a spot on a television panel - this time I just did it for me, for no other reason than I really wanted to be thinner.
After a while, the scales become irrelevant. There was a time when I would agonise over them every morning. Now I weigh myself once or twice a week if I remember. The big thing now is keeping it going, and I'm constantly looking for new incentives. When somebody told me that massage helped with weight loss, it was an easy decision to book a few treatments, "treat" being the operative syllable. I'm not convinced by the claims of some spas that regular massage or fancy treatments and wraps can make you thinner, but it was worth a try. The "Body Lean" gel scrub made from pumice and essential oils of grapefruit, geranium and lime followed by a stimulating massage offered by the Sensasia urban spa at The Village, Dubai, sounded hopeful. It certainly smelled delicious and the therapist diligently pummelled away at the problem areas around the hips and midriff.
Clearly a single visit was not going to produce spectacular results, but perhaps after a course of six or so, any remaining cellulite might well take fright after such firm treatment. Bobby Griffiths, the manager of the Heavenly Spa by Westin, agrees. "Massage is not going to do much on its own, but it is a help if you are on a weight-loss plan and take exercise as well. But there really is no such thing as a quick fix."
The spa doesn't offer any magic slimming treatments, but it does do a detoxifying mud wrap, which didn't sound very appealing, as it happens. First you are scrubbed down to remove dead cells and allow the special Italian mud to sink in and do its job. The mud is a combination of fucus, algae and essential oils which goes on hot but quickly becomes very cold. It sounded disgusting but it didn't feel as horrid as I expected it to at first, and a strong smell of eucalyptus certainly cleared my head of the beginnings of a nasty cold.
As I lay there wrapped in plastic sheeting and feeling like a basted turkey ready to be popped into the oven, I wondered why women put themselves through this sort of thing for the sake of beauty. It wasn't just cold, it was teeth-chatteringly freezing, and after the recommended 18 minutes I shot into a warm shower gratefully. Anna, the therapist, just laughed and said that when she tried it she only lasted three minutes. It wasn't exactly a hard sell, but at least she was honest.
Afterwards, however, my skin felt marvellously alive and glowing. Presumably all my toxins are now running for their lives. Who can tell? I prefer my massages and body wraps to be more of a comforting treat, a small reward for the effort I've been putting into it. For easing the stresses of modern life and the aches and pains you acquire over the years, massage is an unbeatable therapy, to my mind. Together with the weight loss, it has eased my perennial back problems considerably and if I find I'm not sleeping properly, it helps that, too.
The funny thing was that as I stood on the scales again this morning I had definitely dropped a few ounces. The needle is now lingering tantalisingly about half a pound away from my final target. Massage undoubtedly stimulates your circulation. Whether it actually helps you lose weight is a moot point. I don't know, but if the truth be told, I don't really care. It makes me feel good and that will do it for me any time.
pkennedy@thenational.ae
