The second Friday in January, which falls on the 10th this year, has unfortunately been dubbed Quitter’s Day. It is the day deemed most likely for people to backtrack on their goals and good intentions right before the weekend and abandon their New Year’s resolutions.
If you want to stick to yours, here are some hacks that might help.
Set easy resolutions
Rather than lofty goals that require endless planning, consider easy-to-manage resolutions that are not too big or too vague. For instance, “save money” is an honourable goal, but it doesn’t actually mean anything. Be specific and realistic about how much money you want to save – and put an end date on it. It could be one lump sum by one set date (for example, Dh10,000 by December 31) or, better still, a certain amount per month for the rest of the year.
You could also aim to read one new book each month, cook one new dish per week and – rather than committing to some epic weight-loss plan or spending too many dirhams on a gym membership you won't use – simply start by always taking the stairs at home or at work.
Importantly, do one thing at a time. You’ll find that once you’ve managed to stick to one goal, you might be able to add in a new one. By then, you’ll be feeling more confident about being able to stick to your goals. It’s all about small steps for big results.
The time factor
In a time-poor world, sticking to resolutions that require you to expend hours of physical and mental output might not work out for many. Instead, set aside a small amount of time – between five and 15 minutes – to take baby steps towards your goal.
For instance, if “improving relationships” is on your mind, UAE-based marriage counsellor Nicola Beer offers a DIY solution that takes three minutes a day. “Create a daily morning or evening routine where you spend just three minutes thinking about what you’re grateful for in the relationship, what’s going well and why it’s important for you to even have a good relationship with that particular person in the first place,” Beer says.
“Thinking about why you want what you do will also help you correct your own patterns. Knowing that it’s important for you to show your children love or have a strong relationship with the family will make you prioritise those in your life and let the insignificant things slide.”
If “being happier” is the end game, Darius Foroux, author of international bestsellers Think Straight and Do it Today, recommends the deceptively simple act of journaling.
“Simply sit down with a pen and a notebook and start asking yourself: 'What do I want? Why am I struggling? When do I usually feel good? When do I usually feel bad?'” Foroux says. “When you become aware of what’s good and bad for you, you can focus on the good and eliminate the bad.
“If you want to improve your life and be happier, you must start by knowing yourself. Answering fundamental questions about what true happiness means to you makes what you should be working towards a lot more clear and achievable.”
As for one sure-fire way of “being healthier”, neuroscientist and professor at Stanford University School of Medicine Dr Andrew Huberman recommends this two-minute change ad nauseam: getting sunlight in your eyes first thing in the morning.
“It is perhaps the most important thing any and all of us should do in order to promote metabolic well-being, positive functioning of your hormone system and get your mental health steering in the right direction,” he says his popular Huberman Lab podcast.
Pick a word
Rather than hackneyed or laborious New Year resolutions, why not try your hand at a practice called Word of the Year? Based on the One Little Word programme set up by self-help book author Ali Edwards, WOTY offers a compassionate way to concentrate on your vision for the coming year.
Be it “peace”, “confidence” or “joy”, the single word you choose must relate to whatever major changes you’re anticipating or hoping for in the coming year. Motivational speaker Ira Poladko, who is the creative mind behind the Mira Vision Board Kit, says the practice is a profound tool for personal growth and transformation. It empowers individuals to approach the year with intentionality, making conscious choices aligning with their word.
If your word is broad in scope, say “health”, for example, she suggests incorporating the practice of choosing a word of the month, to break down complex tasks into manageable components for effective planning and execution.
Alisha Purandare, the parenting blogger behind Two Purple Lines, believes this practice has made her “more creative over the years to experiment with words such as ‘calm’ and even ‘celebrate’ and ‘orange’”. She adds: “To me, it meant: Look on the bright side. And so I did.”
Redefine quitting
In the social media-driven era of hustle culture and the rise-and-grind mentality, being a quitter often equates to being a loser, dropout or flake. However, Devika Mankani, holistic psychologist at the Hundred Wellness Centre in Dubai, says: “Quitting isn't inherently negative. In fact, it can be a strategic and positive choice, and a proactive move to avoid burnout and open up opportunities.”
Developing a positive relationship towards quitting can help identify areas in your life that are no longer serving you well. “A healthy relationship with quitting includes self-reflection, such as regularly assessing goals and values to ensure their alignment with personal aspirations; flexibility to adjust goals accordingly; self-compassion, acknowledging that it’s acceptable to let go of pursuits that no longer contribute positively to one's life; and celebrating endings by understanding that some closures are necessary for new beginnings,” says Maham Rasheed, clinical psychologist at Nabta Health Clinic.
Rachel Godfrey, co-founder of Chase Life Consulting, adds: “Ask yourself: ‘Am I wanting to quit simply because the journey is difficult, inconvenient, or frustrating? Or am I wanting to quit because this path genuinely feels out of alignment with my values?’ If you're unable to cut your losses because you're afraid of feeling like a failure or looking like a failure, you're not learning the life lesson.”
