We’ve all been there – lending money when we’re strapped for cash, chauffeuring children when we haven’t got time, or working extra hours when we’re exhausted.
The temptation to give in to demands can be powerful – especially when it’s for family and friends – but if modern-day therapy speak has taught us anything, it’s that boundaries might be the key to self-preservation for many.
With May marked as Mental Health Awareness Month, UAE experts offer advice on setting boundaries for healthier relationships and protecting emotional well-being.
Set, don’t push, boundaries
Something of a self-help buzzword, “boundaries” refers to setting the standard of how you want to be treated and drawing the line at violations that put your well-being at risk.
“Boundaries reflect our core values, our respect for ourselves and our need for safety and protection,” says clinical therapist and life coach Anne Jackson, founder of One Life Coaching in Dubai.
Not calling out toxic behaviour means people will continue to drain your time, money and emotional well-being
Heather Broderick,
workplace culture consultant
“They include material boundaries, like giving or lending money; emotional boundaries like comforting someone in distress; and physical boundaries like your personal space or privacy.
“Without healthy boundaries, we can quickly feel unhappy, resentful or insecure in our relationships, or like we are being taken advantage of or losing a sense of identity.”
In recent times, the term has seeped into everyday speech and, in some cases, misused as a weapon to make unfair demands.
One of the most high-profile examples of abusing therapy speak were text messages sent by actor Jonah Hill to his pro-surfer girlfriend Sarah Brady.
In the highly publicised exchange, Hill’s alleged requests of his ex to honour his boundaries included not associating with people he disapproved of or taking pictures of herself that he deemed inappropriate.
The exchange provoked outrage, with many accusing Hill of using therapy speak as a method of control.
However, it also sparked questions about advocating for ourselves, using boundaries to make unfair demands and when doing favours for loved ones becomes harmful.
Take time for self-reflection
For self-confessed people-pleaser Heather Broderick, setting boundaries became essential in the workplace after being unfairly taken advantage of by colleagues who may not have had her best interests at heart.
“The more we allow people to treat us badly, the more they do it. Standing up to them and explaining that it needs to stop is scary but feels like a huge victory,” she says.
“People treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated. So, by not calling out toxic behaviour or agreeing to do things we do not feel comfortable with, we are telling the other person that it is OK, and they will continue to drain your time, money and emotional well-being.”
Broderick has now trained as a workplace culture consultant and helps others in the UAE take control of their well-being both in and out of the office. She advises fellow people-pleasers to take some time to identify behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable and take responsibility for changing the situation.
“Learning what we are happy to do for others and where to draw the line is essential in having a happy life and living with balance,” she says.
“When people make demands that do not align with our values, we end up feeling conflict and we become angry and frustrated, usually blaming the other person, but it is ourselves we need to look at.”
Communicate clearly
Once we’ve identified our boundaries, it’s time to put them into action leaving no room for doubt, though this can be easier said than done.
“Remain calm and tell the person in question that you will not be doing things that make you uncomfortable any more,” says Broderick. “Do not blame or turn it on them, but simply explain that you will not do it for your own reasons. Do not be tempted to say you do not have time or someone else needs you at that time; simply say you do not want to or will not do it.
“That way they cannot try to find solutions for the problem to still make you do it. Have the conversation with someone else present to support you if you feel you will backtrack or panic.”
Find a balance
Often boundaries can change depending on the situation. You may be more inclined to stay late at work, for example, if it’s a one-off request and you have no other plans.
In some cases, sticking rigidly to self-imposed boundaries can do more harm than good, according to Broderick. “Boundaries mean looking out for our own well-being and putting our happiness at the top of the list,” she says. “That being said, there will always be things we do not necessarily want to do, but have to, such as putting in extra work when a deadline approaches or spending much of our time giving lifts to our children.
“We know these things are short-term and the benefits of doing them outweigh refusing.
“Boundaries do not mean we stop caring about others and become selfish, it is more about finding solutions to only do what we are comfortable with doing.
“When people take advantage of us by expecting our time, money or emotional strength on a regular basis, resentment builds internally and this causes frustration within ourselves.”
For Jackson, there is a big difference between healthy boundaries and rigid boundaries. “The goal is a healthy relationship with those close to you, balanced by a sense of understanding, mutual support and give-and-take,” she says.
“There may be occasions when we choose to bend our boundaries a little or allow someone to cross the line, for example when someone is hurt or sad, needs extra support or asks for an exception with respect and kindness.
“It’s also important to recognise that respecting boundaries works two ways. In setting our own boundaries we need to examine our personal behaviour and words to see if we are crossing the line for another person.”
Adhere to the rule of three
Once we set out boundaries, we expect others to respect them, but not everyone will adjust to the new rules. If limits are ignored, Jackson recommends implementing what she calls the rule of three.
“If they step over your boundaries a first time, let that be a lesson for that person to learn that you are not OK with their behaviour,” she says.
“If it happens a second time, it is a lesson for you to learn that maybe they just don’t share the same values as you. If there is a third instance, then it’s time to walk away and, if that’s not possible, then creating a healthy distance may be the best way to protect yourself.”
The biog
Simon Nadim has completed 7,000 dives.
The hardest dive in the UAE is the German U-boat 110m down off the Fujairah coast.
As a child, he loved the documentaries of Jacques Cousteau
He also led a team that discovered the long-lost portion of the Ines oil tanker.
If you are interested in diving, he runs the XR Hub Dive Centre in Fujairah
Green ambitions
- Trees: 1,500 to be planted, replacing 300 felled ones, with veteran oaks protected
- Lake: Brown's centrepiece to be cleaned of silt that makes it as shallow as 2.5cm
- Biodiversity: Bat cave to be added and habitats designed for kingfishers and little grebes
- Flood risk: Longer grass, deeper lake, restored ponds and absorbent paths all meant to siphon off water
The five pillars of Islam
Coffee: black death or elixir of life?
It is among the greatest health debates of our time; splashed across newspapers with contradicting headlines - is coffee good for you or not?
Depending on what you read, it is either a cancer-causing, sleep-depriving, stomach ulcer-inducing black death or the secret to long life, cutting the chance of stroke, diabetes and cancer.
The latest research - a study of 8,412 people across the UK who each underwent an MRI heart scan - is intended to put to bed (caffeine allowing) conflicting reports of the pros and cons of consumption.
The study, funded by the British Heart Foundation, contradicted previous findings that it stiffens arteries, putting pressure on the heart and increasing the likelihood of a heart attack or stroke, leading to warnings to cut down.
Numerous studies have recognised the benefits of coffee in cutting oral and esophageal cancer, the risk of a stroke and cirrhosis of the liver.
The benefits are often linked to biologically active compounds including caffeine, flavonoids, lignans, and other polyphenols, which benefit the body. These and othetr coffee compounds regulate genes involved in DNA repair, have anti-inflammatory properties and are associated with lower risk of insulin resistance, which is linked to type-2 diabetes.
But as doctors warn, too much of anything is inadvisable. The British Heart Foundation found the heaviest coffee drinkers in the study were most likely to be men who smoked and drank alcohol regularly.
Excessive amounts of coffee also unsettle the stomach causing or contributing to stomach ulcers. It also stains the teeth over time, hampers absorption of minerals and vitamins like zinc and iron.
It also raises blood pressure, which is largely problematic for people with existing conditions.
So the heaviest drinkers of the black stuff - some in the study had up to 25 cups per day - may want to rein it in.
Rory Reynolds
Farage on Muslim Brotherhood
Nigel Farage told Reform's annual conference that the party will proscribe the Muslim Brotherhood if he becomes Prime Minister.
"We will stop dangerous organisations with links to terrorism operating in our country," he said. "Quite why we've been so gutless about this – both Labour and Conservative – I don't know.
“All across the Middle East, countries have banned and proscribed the Muslim Brotherhood as a dangerous organisation. We will do the very same.”
It is 10 years since a ground-breaking report into the Muslim Brotherhood by Sir John Jenkins.
Among the former diplomat's findings was an assessment that “the use of extreme violence in the pursuit of the perfect Islamic society” has “never been institutionally disowned” by the movement.
The prime minister at the time, David Cameron, who commissioned the report, said membership or association with the Muslim Brotherhood was a "possible indicator of extremism" but it would not be banned.
Teachers' pay - what you need to know
Pay varies significantly depending on the school, its rating and the curriculum. Here's a rough guide as of January 2021:
- top end schools tend to pay Dh16,000-17,000 a month - plus a monthly housing allowance of up to Dh6,000. These tend to be British curriculum schools rated 'outstanding' or 'very good', followed by American schools
- average salary across curriculums and skill levels is about Dh10,000, recruiters say
- it is becoming more common for schools to provide accommodation, sometimes in an apartment block with other teachers, rather than hand teachers a cash housing allowance
- some strong performing schools have cut back on salaries since the pandemic began, sometimes offering Dh16,000 including the housing allowance, which reflects the slump in rental costs, and sheer demand for jobs
- maths and science teachers are most in demand and some schools will pay up to Dh3,000 more than other teachers in recognition of their technical skills
- at the other end of the market, teachers in some Indian schools, where fees are lower and competition among applicants is intense, can be paid as low as Dh3,000 per month
- in Indian schools, it has also become common for teachers to share residential accommodation, living in a block with colleagues
Closing the loophole on sugary drinks
As The National reported last year, non-fizzy sugared drinks were not covered when the original tax was introduced in 2017. Sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, 20 grams of sugar per 500ml bottle.
The non-fizzy drink AriZona Iced Tea contains 65 grams of sugar – about 16 teaspoons – per 680ml can. The average can costs about Dh6, which would rise to Dh9.
Drinks such as Starbucks Bottled Mocha Frappuccino contain 31g of sugar in 270ml, while Nescafe Mocha in a can contains 15.6g of sugar in a 240ml can.
Flavoured water, long-life fruit juice concentrates, pre-packaged sweetened coffee drinks fall under the ‘sweetened drink’ category
Not taxed:
Freshly squeezed fruit juices, ground coffee beans, tea leaves and pre-prepared flavoured milkshakes do not come under the ‘sweetened drink’ band.
Red flags
- Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
- Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
- Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
- Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
- Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.
Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching
Director: Laxman Utekar
Cast: Vicky Kaushal, Akshaye Khanna, Diana Penty, Vineet Kumar Singh, Rashmika Mandanna
Rating: 1/5
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Ten tax points to be aware of in 2026
1. Domestic VAT refund amendments: request your refund within five years
If a business does not apply for the refund on time, they lose their credit.
2. E-invoicing in the UAE
Businesses should continue preparing for the implementation of e-invoicing in the UAE, with 2026 a preparation and transition period ahead of phased mandatory adoption.
3. More tax audits
Tax authorities are increasingly using data already available across multiple filings to identify audit risks.
4. More beneficial VAT and excise tax penalty regime
Tax disputes are expected to become more frequent and more structured, with clearer administrative objection and appeal processes. The UAE has adopted a new penalty regime for VAT and excise disputes, which now mirrors the penalty regime for corporate tax.
5. Greater emphasis on statutory audit
There is a greater need for the accuracy of financial statements. The International Financial Reporting Standards standards need to be strictly adhered to and, as a result, the quality of the audits will need to increase.
6. Further transfer pricing enforcement
Transfer pricing enforcement, which refers to the practice of establishing prices for internal transactions between related entities, is expected to broaden in scope. The UAE will shortly open the possibility to negotiate advance pricing agreements, or essentially rulings for transfer pricing purposes.
7. Limited time periods for audits
Recent amendments also introduce a default five-year limitation period for tax audits and assessments, subject to specific statutory exceptions. While the standard audit and assessment period is five years, this may be extended to up to 15 years in cases involving fraud or tax evasion.
8. Pillar 2 implementation
Many multinational groups will begin to feel the practical effect of the Domestic Minimum Top-Up Tax (DMTT), the UAE's implementation of the OECD’s global minimum tax under Pillar 2. While the rules apply for financial years starting on or after January 1, 2025, it is 2026 that marks the transition to an operational phase.
9. Reduced compliance obligations for imported goods and services
Businesses that apply the reverse-charge mechanism for VAT purposes in the UAE may benefit from reduced compliance obligations.
10. Substance and CbC reporting focus
Tax authorities are expected to continue strengthening the enforcement of economic substance and Country-by-Country (CbC) reporting frameworks. In the UAE, these regimes are increasingly being used as risk-assessment tools, providing tax authorities with a comprehensive view of multinational groups’ global footprints and enabling them to assess whether profits are aligned with real economic activity.
Contributed by Thomas Vanhee and Hend Rashwan, Aurifer
THE SIXTH SENSE
Starring: Bruce Willis, Toni Collette, Hayley Joel Osment
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: 5/5
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