The newlywed inquisition

The question "So, how's married life?" slaps me in the face at least three times a day. Two, if I'm lucky. The first time I heard the now much-dreaded question was the morning after the wedding. Running into a group of friends in the lobby of the hotel that had hosted the late-night festivities, I replied with a flippant "so far, so good", thinking that would be the end of it.

Little did I know. It's almost two months later and I've officially dubbed the question "the most asked of newlyweds ever". How do people expect you to respond to it, especially when it is being asked in the presence of your spouse? Do they ask it in the same general sense as the generic "How's it going?" Or do they ask out of curiosity, to compare it with their lives, whether they are married or not?

Always be prepared for the inevitable follow-up questions, which go along the lines of: "So, have you started cooking yet?" if you're the new wife, and "So, has she started cooking for you yet?" if you're the new husband. Your attempts to explain that as newlyweds you enjoy dining out often and ordering impromptu takeaway at all hours of the night and day will be mocked and ridiculed, because everyone knows that a wife's first priority in life is to provide her husband with a home-cooked meal three times a day, from scratch.

A word of caution from someone who is no longer known by her first name and more often referred to as The Bride: unsolicited opinions are par for the course, so do not try to engage. Back to the dreaded opening line: how's married life? Rumours abound among most married couples that this question continues to plague until the first child comes along. Try not to succumb to the temptation of replying with a "how is this any of your business, exactly" to the next stranger who realises you're a newlywed while going over an official form you've had to fill out. Bear it, muster a tight grin, and reply with an "It's going great, thank you".