Every profession has its dress code. Fashion people - and, I'm told, architects - wear mostly black. But rather than the one-track wardrobe one might expect of women who work in the industry, they in fact have a rather less predictable approach to dressing.
One half consists of classics verging on "granny" favourites. The other is seasonal, one-off crazy pieces bought at tear-jerking prices, which date instantly but are nonetheless crucial, if just for a fleeting moment.
By the time the latter come around again, they can look ridiculous. Take shoulder pads. I turned up to my first ever fashion show in Milan wearing a Krizia black jacket with gigantic shoulders - not just big, but huge and round like an American football player.
I wore it with a black Armani skirt and black suede Gucci loafers. Tick, tick, tick as far as labels went - and remember, labels meant everything in the 1980s (and yes, I have been in fashion that long). Besides, you couldn't find high-street copies.
Whenever I wore that Krizia jacket I got goose bumps if I caught my reflection in a shop window (I also got goose bumps that winter because the shoulder pads were so big I couldn't fit a coat over it).
Back then no one cared about body size. It was the size of shoulder pads that mattered and this jacket had the biggest I had ever seen.
Over the years, I toyed with the idea of putting it under the knife to give it the clothing equivalent of a facelift but, of course, without pads the jacket was pointless. So I waited (and waited), telling myself that one day shoulder pads would return.
And return they did, but in a shape rendering all former examples obsolete. Shoulder pads of the 21st century don't go out: they shoot up like rockets.
"How silly!" I snarled as I watched Lady Gaga cavorting in her sci-fi versions. "You'd never catch me in that," I hissed when Victoria Beckham wore a leather Balmain jacket that looked as though she had not removed the coat-hanger.
And I was doing so well until I was invited to an annual fashion party renowned for its "who's who" guest list. Finally, a chance to catch up with fashion buddies. Impress them, too.
The day of the party arrived and I prepared my outfit for the evening as anyone with almost 20 years' experience of such events would: having emptied the entire contents of my wardrobe on to my bed I sobbed like a teenager. ("Waaaah, I've got nothing to wear.")
Should I go crazy or classic? These days I don't like feeling either over- or under-dressed. I reckoned an Armani LBD teamed with surreally high, Topshop lacy ankle boots and fake diamonds the size of gobstoppers would be just the ticket.
But as the minutes ticked by I panicked. Visions of everyone else wearing leggings and outrageous hot pants made me race to my favourite boutique - which happened to be having a sale - where I bought a jacket.
Not just any old jacket. A black gabardine skinny Edwardian style with giant shoulder pads curved up like bananas encrusted with Swarovski crystal, lace, curly ruffled taffeta, sequins, jet beads, tassels and filigree embroidery. It's a mouthful to write so just imagine what it looks like (the label inside reads "Coppernob" in case you are interested).
In a moment of madness I even allowed the saleswoman to shoehorn me into a pair of that other 1980s relic, leggings, which appeared to be the jacket's logical partner.
As I walked into the party reciting my "who's going to be looking at you anyhow?" mantra, two things happened.
Firstly, I rubbed shoulders - literally, without meaning to - with my former publisher, who then had to stop and chat. (Result.)
Then, spying my friend, the designer Jenny Packham, I pulled off a manoeuvre with one shoulder pad, which edged out a journalist whom I know she loathes. When she attempted to butt in I swung around fending her off, politely but firmly, with the other shoulder (touché).
I spent the night working that jacket like a stag would its horns. Glancing about the packed room, I saw I was not alone. Surprisingly, it didn't remotely stand out, despite its supersized shoulders. Far better, it fitted in. And it was black.
As far as fashion party dress codes go, this jacket at that precise moment nailed it. I was even able to leave slightly earlier than usual, having worked the entire room, dipping in and ducking out of conversations and all the time doing the hokey cokey, swinging those shoulder tassels - but in a catwalk way, natch.
The bad news for 2010 is that shoulder pads are history. How sad that I may never get to wear it again.
Specs
Engine: 51.5kW electric motor
Range: 400km
Power: 134bhp
Torque: 175Nm
Price: From Dh98,800
Available: Now
Results
2pm: Maiden (TB) Dh60,000 (Dirt) 1,200m, Winner: Mouheeb, Tom Marquand (jockey), Nicholas Bachalard (trainer)
2.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh68,000 (D) 1,200m, Winner: Honourable Justice, Royston Ffrench, Salem bin Ghadayer
3pm: Handicap (TB) Dh84,000 (D) 1,200m, Winner: Dahawi, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi
3.30pm: Conditions (TB) Dh100,000 (D) 1,200m, Winner: Dark Silver, Fernando Jara, Ahmad bin Harmash
4pm: Maiden (TB) Dh60,000 (D) 1,600m, Winner: Dark Of Night. Antonio Fresu, Al Muhairi.
4.30pm: Handicap (TB) Dh68,000 (D) 1,600m, Winner: Habah, Pat Dobbs, Doug Watson
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Formula One top 10 drivers' standings after Japan
1. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes 306
2. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 247
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes 234
4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull 192
5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 148
6. Max Verstappen, Red Bull 111
7. Sergio Perez, Force India 82
8. Esteban Ocon, Force India 65
9. Carlos Sainz Jr, Toro Rosso 48
10. Nico Hulkenberg, Renault 34
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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Company%C2%A0profile
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Sun jukebox
Rufus Thomas, Bear Cat (The Answer to Hound Dog) (1953)
This rip-off of Leiber/Stoller’s early rock stomper brought a lawsuit against Phillips and necessitated Presley’s premature sale to RCA.
Elvis Presley, Mystery Train (1955)
The B-side of Presley’s final single for Sun bops with a drummer-less groove.
Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two, Folsom Prison Blues (1955)
Originally recorded for Sun, Cash’s signature tune was performed for inmates of the titular prison 13 years later.
Carl Perkins, Blue Suede Shoes (1956)
Within a month of Sun’s February release Elvis had his version out on RCA.
Roy Orbison, Ooby Dooby (1956)
An essential piece of irreverent juvenilia from Orbison.
Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire (1957)
Lee’s trademark anthem is one of the era’s best-remembered – and best-selling – songs.
Innotech Profile
Date started: 2013
Founder/CEO: Othman Al Mandhari
Based: Muscat, Oman
Sector: Additive manufacturing, 3D printing technologies
Size: 15 full-time employees
Stage: Seed stage and seeking Series A round of financing
Investors: Oman Technology Fund from 2017 to 2019, exited through an agreement with a new investor to secure new funding that it under negotiation right now.
Famous left-handers
- Marie Curie
- Jimi Hendrix
- Leonardo Di Vinci
- David Bowie
- Paul McCartney
- Albert Einstein
- Jack the Ripper
- Barack Obama
- Helen Keller
- Joan of Arc
More on Quran memorisation:
RESULT
Norway 1 Spain 1
Norway: King (90 4')
Spain: Niguez (47')
Manchester City (0) v Liverpool (3)
Uefa Champions League, quarter-final, second leg
Where: Etihad Stadium
When: Tuesday, 10.45pm
Live on beIN Sports HD
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
TCL INFO
Teams:
Punjabi Legends Owners: Inzamam-ul-Haq and Intizar-ul-Haq; Key player: Misbah-ul-Haq
Pakhtoons Owners: Habib Khan and Tajuddin Khan; Key player: Shahid Afridi
Maratha Arabians Owners: Sohail Khan, Ali Tumbi, Parvez Khan; Key player: Virender Sehwag
Bangla Tigers Owners: Shirajuddin Alam, Yasin Choudhary, Neelesh Bhatnager, Anis and Rizwan Sajan; Key player: TBC
Colombo Lions Owners: Sri Lanka Cricket; Key player: TBC
Kerala Kings Owners: Hussain Adam Ali and Shafi Ul Mulk; Key player: Eoin Morgan
Venue Sharjah Cricket Stadium
Format 10 overs per side, matches last for 90 minutes
Timeline October 25: Around 120 players to be entered into a draft, to be held in Dubai; December 21: Matches start; December 24: Finals
MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
ESSENTIALS
The flights
Emirates flies from Dubai to Phnom Penh via Yangon from Dh2,700 return including taxes. Cambodia Bayon Airlines and Cambodia Angkor Air offer return flights from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap from Dh250 return including taxes. The flight takes about 45 minutes.
The hotels
Rooms at the Raffles Le Royal in Phnom Penh cost from $225 (Dh826) per night including taxes. Rooms at the Grand Hotel d'Angkor cost from $261 (Dh960) per night including taxes.
The tours
A cyclo architecture tour of Phnom Penh costs from $20 (Dh75) per person for about three hours, with Khmer Architecture Tours. Tailor-made tours of all of Cambodia, or sites like Angkor alone, can be arranged by About Asia Travel. Emirates Holidays also offers packages.
Squad: Majed Naser, Abdulaziz Sanqour, Walid Abbas, Khamis Esmail, Habib Fardan, Mohammed Marzouq (Shabab Al Ahli Dubai), Khalid Essa, Muhanad Salem, Mohammed Ahmed, Ismail Ahmed, Ahmed Barman, Amer Abdulrahman, Omar Abdulrahman (Al Ain), Ali Khaseif, Fares Juma, Mohammed Fawzi, Khalfan Mubarak, Mohammed Jamal, Ahmed Al Attas (Al Jazira), Ahmed Rashid, Mohammed Al Akbari (Al Wahda), Tariq Ahmed, Mahmoud Khamis, Khalifa Mubarak, Jassim Yaqoub (Al Nasr), Ali Salmeen (Al Wasl), Yousef Saeed (Sharjah), Suhail Al Nubi (Baniyas)
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants
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SPEC SHEET
Display: 6.8" edge quad-HD dynamic Amoled 2X, Infinity-O, 3088 x 1440, 500ppi, HDR10 , 120Hz
Processor: 4nm Snapdragon 8 Gen 1/Exynos 2200, 8-core
Memory: 8/12GB RAM
Storage: 128/256/512GB/1TB
Platform: Android 12
Main camera: quad 12MP ultra-wide f/2.2, 108MP wide f/1.8, 10MP telephoto f/4.9, 10MP telephoto 2.4; Space Zoom up to 100x, auto HDR, expert RAW
Video: 8K@24fps, 4K@60fps, full-HD@60fps, HD@30fps, super slo-mo@960fps
Front camera: 40MP f/2.2
Battery: 5000mAh, fast wireless charging 2.0 Wireless PowerShare
Connectivity: 5G, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 5.2, NFC
I/O: USB-C
SIM: single nano, or nano and SIM, nano and nano, eSIM/nano and nano
Colours: burgundy, green, phantom black, phantom white, graphite, sky blue, red
Price: Dh4,699 for 128GB, Dh5,099 for 256GB, Dh5,499 for 512GB; 1TB unavailable in the UAE
MATCH INFO
Euro 2020 qualifier
Ukraine 2 (Yaremchuk 06', Yarmolenko 27')
Portugal 1 (Ronaldo 72' pen)
Brief scoreline:
Manchester United 0
Manchester City 2
Bernardo Silva 54', Sane 66'
Water waste
In the UAE’s arid climate, small shrubs, bushes and flower beds usually require about six litres of water per square metre, daily. That increases to 12 litres per square metre a day for small trees, and 300 litres for palm trees.
Horticulturists suggest the best time for watering is before 8am or after 6pm, when water won't be dried up by the sun.
A global report published by the Water Resources Institute in August, ranked the UAE 10th out of 164 nations where water supplies are most stretched.
The Emirates is the world’s third largest per capita water consumer after the US and Canada.
The biog
Name: Salem Alkarbi
Age: 32
Favourite Al Wasl player: Alexandre Oliveira
First started supporting Al Wasl: 7
Biggest rival: Al Nasr
more from Janine di Giovanni
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Brief scoreline:
Manchester United 2
Rashford 28', Martial 72'
Watford 1
Doucoure 90'
Temple numbers
Expected completion: 2022
Height: 24 meters
Ground floor banquet hall: 370 square metres to accommodate about 750 people
Ground floor multipurpose hall: 92 square metres for up to 200 people
First floor main Prayer Hall: 465 square metres to hold 1,500 people at a time
First floor terrace areas: 2,30 square metres
Temple will be spread over 6,900 square metres
Structure includes two basements, ground and first floor
Labour dispute
The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.
- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law
Fixtures
50-over match
UAE v Lancashire, starts at 10am
Champion County match
MCC v Surrey, four-day match, starting on Sunday, March 24, play starts at 10am
Both matches are at ICC Academy, Dubai Sports City. Admission is free.
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
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