We all love a good old rib-tickling belly laugh - especially when it comes to fashion disasters on other people. It's all so safe to roam around wearing inoffensive jeans and a linen shirt while enjoying a bit of inward eye rolling at the poor girl in "theeee offending outfit"- safe in the knowledge that whilst we may look a little bit like everyone else, at least we don't look like "her".
But these, my friends, are what they call trends. They normally originate with a wild card - a headliner - a Gaga or a Kylie, then all of a sudden, the next thing we know, middle-aged Mary from the finance department is giving those neon flatcaps a whirl.
So what's the big old belly laugh about this time? Promise not to be disappointed when I tell you it's about leather - because it's not just any old leather we are talking about here, it's spray-on three-quarter-length leather trousers. Now that's got your attention, hasn't it?
There are certain things in life I like to ignore. Phone calls in general freak me out, as do difficult conversations about "my direction" with my mother. Men wearing leather is another. They're just a little too Bruce Springsteen for me. I suspect the problem lies in the fabric itself; any item of clothing that makes noise when you move is just a little creepy. But here I am in that peculiar position - lusting after a pair of Isabel Marant cropped black leather trousers. I know I should hate them and their verging-on-stupid price tag - they retail at £1,500 (Dh8,835) - never mind the fact I am normally quite realistic about my limitations (I'd look rubbish in them) but they are, unavoidably, EVERYWHERE.
So if you want to give them a go, here are a few rules:
Leather, generally speaking, makes even the most gangly of girls appear more cart-horse than colt. So beware. Three-quarter trousers, believe it or not, are more flattering than full-length, just look to French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld for inspiration. Keep the rest of your outfit simple, a longish cashmere cardigan over a white vest is good and keeps the look from heading towards mutton-dressed-as-lamb territory. Think oversized jumpers in a fine knit, or a long-sleeved striped cotton T-shirt, basically anything that doesn't scream "hello boys" because the rest of you will.
So while I will begrudgingly admit that some can pull them off, and perhaps even look cool in that Jim Morrison manner, I'll be frank: for most of us (including myself) we won't. We will simply look like an over-cooked chicken drumstick. But I'm determined to go for it anyway. Rather fashion disaster than fashion invisible.
DUBAI%20BLING%3A%20EPISODE%201
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Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ETamer%20Ruggli%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENadine%20Labaki%2C%20Fanny%20Ardant%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
TCL INFO
Teams:
Punjabi Legends Owners: Inzamam-ul-Haq and Intizar-ul-Haq; Key player: Misbah-ul-Haq
Pakhtoons Owners: Habib Khan and Tajuddin Khan; Key player: Shahid Afridi
Maratha Arabians Owners: Sohail Khan, Ali Tumbi, Parvez Khan; Key player: Virender Sehwag
Bangla Tigers Owners: Shirajuddin Alam, Yasin Choudhary, Neelesh Bhatnager, Anis and Rizwan Sajan; Key player: TBC
Colombo Lions Owners: Sri Lanka Cricket; Key player: TBC
Kerala Kings Owners: Hussain Adam Ali and Shafi Ul Mulk; Key player: Eoin Morgan
Venue Sharjah Cricket Stadium
Format 10 overs per side, matches last for 90 minutes
When December 14-17
TOURNAMENT INFO
Women’s World Twenty20 Qualifier
Jul 3- 14, in the Netherlands
The top two teams will qualify to play at the World T20 in the West Indies in November
UAE squad
Humaira Tasneem (captain), Chamani Seneviratne, Subha Srinivasan, Neha Sharma, Kavisha Kumari, Judit Cleetus, Chaya Mughal, Roopa Nagraj, Heena Hotchandani, Namita D’Souza, Ishani Senevirathne, Esha Oza, Nisha Ali, Udeni Kuruppuarachchi
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Specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%201.5-litre%20turbo%204-cylinder%20%2F%202.0%20turbo%204-cylinder%20(S3)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20148bhp%20%2F%20328bhp%20(S3)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20250Nm%20%2F%20420Nm%20(S3)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20December%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20TBA%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Our House, Louise Candlish,
Simon & Schuster
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TUESDAY'S ORDER OF PLAY
Centre Court
Starting at 2pm:
Malin Cilic (CRO) v Benoit Paire (FRA) [8]
Not before 4pm:
Dan Evans (GBR) v Fabio Fogini (ITA) [4]
Not before 7pm:
Pablo Carreno Busta (SPA) v Stefanos Tsitsipas (GRE) [2]
Roberto Bautista Agut (SPA) [5] v Jan-Lennard Struff (GER)
Court One
Starting at 2pm
Prajnesh Gunneswaran (IND) v Dennis Novak (AUT)
Joao Sousa (POR) v Filip Krajinovic (SRB)
Not before 5pm:
Rajeev Ram (USA) and Joe Salisbury (GBR) [1] v Marin Cilic v Novak Djokovic (SRB)
Nikoloz Basilashvili v Ricardas Berankis (LTU)
THE SPECS
Engine: 1.6-litre turbo
Transmission: six-speed automatic
Power: 165hp
Torque: 240Nm
Price: From Dh89,000 (Enjoy), Dh99,900 (Innovation)
On sale: Now
What is an FTO Designation?
FTO designations impose immigration restrictions on members of the organisation simply by virtue of their membership and triggers a criminal prohibition on knowingly providing material support or resources to the designated organisation as well as asset freezes.
It is a crime for a person in the United States or subject to the jurisdiction of the United States to knowingly provide “material support or resources” to or receive military-type training from or on behalf of a designated FTO.
Representatives and members of a designated FTO, if they are aliens, are inadmissible to and, in certain circumstances removable from, the United States.
Except as authorised by the Secretary of the Treasury, any US financial institution that becomes aware that it has possession of or control over funds in which an FTO or its agent has an interest must retain possession of or control over the funds and report the funds to the Treasury Department.
Source: US Department of State
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THE BIO
Ambition: To create awareness among young about people with disabilities and make the world a more inclusive place
Job Title: Human resources administrator, Expo 2020 Dubai
First jobs: Co-ordinator with Magrudy Enterprises; HR coordinator at Jumeirah Group
Entrepreneur: Started his own graphic design business
Favourite singer: Avril Lavigne
Favourite travel destination: Germany and Saudi Arabia
Family: Six sisters
more from Janine di Giovanni
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The biog
DOB: March 13, 1987
Place of birth: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia but lived in Virginia in the US and raised in Lebanon
School: ACS in Lebanon
University: BSA in Graphic Design at the American University of Beirut
MSA in Design Entrepreneurship at the School of Visual Arts in New York City
Nationality: Lebanese
Status: Single
Favourite thing to do: I really enjoy cycling, I was a participant in Cycling for Gaza for the second time this year
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The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now