As you enter the new year you may be doing so with surprising and unexpected presents - novelty socks, over-sized jumpers and comedy nutcrackers - that make you glad somebody (in this case Jerry Seinfeld) has already invented the practice of "regifting".
To regift is to make a present of something that one has already received, a form of recycling that is perfect for that glow-in-the-dark garden gnome but not a realistic option when it comes to living things such as plants that soon lose that tell-tale, straight-from-the-garden-centre freshness. This leaves the unwitting and bewildered recipient of seasonal flora with only two options: to learn about (and love) your new charge or to leave it to wither and die in what is hopefully as fast and guilt-free a manner as possible.
The second option is never open to me so I've chosen to embrace the bonsai tree I was given by kind friends but that I would never have bought for myself. I say this not to be churlish but because I used to look after the bonsai trees when I worked at a nursery and the thought of killing something that has been grown with such care is a little too much to bear. Now that I have a nine-month-old daughter, my fear of responsibility has lifted somewhat and I reckon that if I'm able to look after her (she is yet to wilt) then I must also be ready to take on the bonsai challenge.
The first thing with bonsai is to establish exactly what kind of tree it is. As with most gift plants, mine has arrived without any labelling or care instructions, and it's vital to find out just what I'm dealing with before I make any lethal mistakes. Given that any bonsai is a miniature version of a far bigger plant, the most important thing to establish is whether it belongs inside or outdoors.
Failure to take this into account was always the common cause of death in the specimens that were sold from my last nursery: customers would buy a beautiful miniature tree and give it pride of place on top of their television regardless of the requirements for the species in question. Unfortunately, an oak or an elm or a maple requires the right light and climatic conditions regardless of size, and you will need to replicate these if your plant is to stand any chance of flourishing. Luckily, my bonsai is a gardenia, which means that it will grow as happily as a houseplant as it will outdoors, and even more so here in the UAE where the heat and harsh sunlight would take their toll on its glossy, tropical foliage.
The next thing to establish is a watering regimen. Like any plant grown in a small container, my bonsai has less capacity to retain water than one surrounded by lots of absorbent compost, so it will need watering regularly and often. At the moment I'm watering my miniature gardenia every other day but this will increase to twice a day as temperatures and humidity increase.
There is some debate as to how best to water bonsai - from above or below - but given that mine already has plenty of fibrous roots growing on the surface of the compost, I will try to encourage downward root growth by standing the pot in water and allowing it to soak up what it needs from below. Given this regular bathing schedule, I'll also apply a balanced liquid feed once every two weeks to combat the leaching of vital nutrients and minerals from its soil.
The presence of fibrous roots near the surface made me think that my plant might already need repotting, since bonsai have a tendency to become pot-bound in their relatively tiny containers, but closer inspection showed it should be alright for another growing season. Not for the faint-hearted gardener, a root inspection involves lifting the whole plant, compost included, out of its shallow tray to examine the root system. In most plants you can do this without causing too much disturbance; just check that there are no roots growing through the large drainage holes in the bottom of the container that might anchor the plant to its pot and be damaged when it is lifted out. If the plant does need repotting, this is best done just before new buds form at the start of the growing season. You will need to use specialist bonsai compost or to make your own using a mixture of free-draining loam, horticultural sand or grit, orchid compost and slow-release bone meal or other fertiliser.
Such are the responsibilities that come with a well-meant gift. Would I have taken them on voluntarily? Probably not. Am I glad that I have my new bonsai? Definitely. I look forward to helping it grow in the year ahead.