1,001 Arabian Bytes: Kids may be the talking point but it’s adults who don’t play nice

Should high-end restaurants have to specify a no-child policy any more explicitly than they specify a dress code?

Little dogs often get the short end of the stick. As a dog lover who was once drawn only to breeds that outweighed me, I looked at toy Yorkies in designer carriers with a mix of dread and scorn. But small pups that yap and nip are merely demonstrating how they were – or weren’t – raised. While nobody wants the threat of an untrained Great Dane lumbering around their home, it’s easy to ignore something the size of a Chihuahua – even when it makes a lot of noise.

Things are more complicated with little humans. All healthy kids are driven, in part, by normal, wild impulses that might mystify adults who have forgotten what it’s like to be little. But even children with immaculate manners need the occasional timeout. Plane rides with crying babies on board became much easier once I reasoned that tears are a primal expression of distress and, well, the changes in cabin pressure can make tiny ears hurt. What does it say about our relative maturity, when as adults we can’t manage our own discomfort under such circumstances? Babies can’t help themselves, and while nobody enjoys the sound of their screams, we should know better than to get uptight about it.

That’s how I feel about babies on planes. When it comes to disruptions of a similar nature in nice restaurants, I’m less tolerant. People sometimes need to travel with their families; fine dining, on the other hand, is a voluntary luxury – not a necessity. And it isn’t just childless diners talking. Some parents who savour rituals such as a romantic dinner out will argue that the presence of other people’s unruly children defeats the purpose of going out in the first place.

This frustration, and many others, were voiced in the ensuing controversy after an incident in January at Chicago’s Alinea, a three-star Michelin restaurant with a formidable waiting list, where guests one evening were treated to a three-hour soundtrack of a screaming infant whose parents chose to ignore the racket – and the baby – much to the disturbance of all others present. It led to an inflammatory tweet by the owner and an online debate about how such situations should be handled. This is about adults, not kids. It’s about playing nicely with others: something we try to teach our children but can’t seem to figure out for ourselves.

Ushna, an upscale Indian restaurant at The Souk at Qaryat Al Beri in Bain Al Jessrain, has ruffled a lot of feathers with its policy of no children under 3. Reading through comments left by enraged patrons reminded me that the most inconsiderate people in the world aren’t kids at all.

There has always been a culture of entitlement in the industry of expensive experiences but, for me, pleasure is defined by an ability to segregate between work and play, at home and away, and to appreciate a restaurant such as Ushna or Alinea, I would want my senses wide open and my cognitive faculties freed.

I’m all for inviting children of a certain age to participate in serious meals, but expecting them to be seen and not heard for four hours straight can also challenge their most natural and sacred instincts.

Nouf Al-Qasimi is an Emirati food analyst who cooks and writes in New Mexico