Being extravagant is part of the UAE visitor experience. When tourists come to our country, they're usually astonished with the lavish lifestyle. They're amazed by the malls and the architecture of places such as the Burj Khalifa.
Lately, though, it seems these views have become part of the UAE identity, and how the world perceives us. Are we happy with this? Is this how we want to be perceived, for lavishness and elaborate lifestyles? Not all Emiratis drive supercars and frequent boutiques where goods have big price tags.
One of my friends recently told me that she’s often asked if she’s Emirati, and when she replies that she is, the next question is usually geared toward why she doesn’t wear the expensive brands like other Emiratis. When she says that the Guccis, Versaces and Louis Vuittons of the world aren’t her preference and that they’re too expensive, they tell her she’s the first Emirati they know who doesn’t adhere to the brand stereotype.
It doesn’t end there. My friend says she feels that even some of her co-workers don’t take her seriously because she chooses to buck the trend, and she often feels like they treat her with condemnation, as if she isn’t good enough.
At the moment, I’m considering buying my first car, and it seems that people are baffled that I don’t want to spend a quarter of a million dirhams on it. “Why?” they ask. “You can take a loan from the bank – you’re an Emirati.” I try to explain to them that I’m not an experienced driver, and I don’t want to spend that much money on a vehicle I might crash. Still, they say, wouldn’t you be embarrassed to drive a cheaper car around? I didn’t know that driving a particular car could be a source of shame if it doesn’t match society’s ridiculous standards.
I remember at university, a girl told me she didn’t feel welcome to join the student council because she didn’t drive a posh enough car or wear enough brand names. It feels like if you’re not dressed a certain way, somehow you’re not Emirati enough.
I remember a conversation with a colleague recently about how I think it’s absurd that people spend money they don’t have and buy expensive things such as cars, and take out bank loans for their weddings and spend the rest of their lives paying them off. To my astonishment, she said: “That’s how it is supposed to be, or at least that is the perception.” An Emirati wedding, especially for big and important families, is supposed to be expensive and extravagant, because what will people say about them if it’s not?
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the fear of being scorned and marginalised by others, and how some might feel like they have to give in to society’s pressures. But we can’t allow it to become a part of our national identity. Degrading others or shaming them because they don’t dress as you expect them to dress just isn’t right.
Fawzeya Abdul Rahman works for the Abu Dhabi Government.
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