Children’s homework: How much should you help — and how to tell if you’re doing too much

Experts explain why wrong answers can be right for pupils and how parents can offer guidance without giving solutions

These are the most common mistakes teachers see when parents help children with homework. Getty Images

Parents might have graduated from the classroom years ago, but whether they like it or not, mums, dads and guardians get to relive their schooldays via their children's homework.

Whatever parents’ thoughts are on it, the question of how much parents could and should help with homework has long been a tricky path to navigate.

Why do children have homework?

With students at school for up to eight hours a day, parents and pupils might wonder why children are set homework at all.

“Home learning provides structure for the development of organisational skills, time management and independent thinking,” says Lorna Deakin, secondary principal at Dove Green Private School.

“It should not be a bolt-on but always connected to class learning. Sometimes this may be ‘flipped learning’ – activities designed to prepare students for what is to come in a future lesson, such as reading an article or watching a short clip, preparing questions or a summary. Other times, home learning is about consolidation of knowledge learned in a lesson, or research and problem-solving activities designed to make students question and think outside the box.”

Learning independent problem solving and time management are additional benefits of homework. It also gives students another opportunity to review class material and parents the chance to see what is being learnt in school.

Common mistakes parents make

Rushing through homework and giving children the answers means teachers are unaware of knowledge gaps. Getty Images

Giving answers to children, or even doing the majority of their homework for them, is one of the biggest mistakes which can stem from a variety of motivations.

“Jumping in too quickly to give the answer rather than allowing the child time to think through the problem is a common mistake,” says Chandini Misra, principal at Repton Al Barsha. “Remember, your child should be working harder than you. Too much guidance, or always starting each activity for the child can prevent children from developing problem-solving skills.”

Excessive pressure or anxiety caused by fixating on achieving certain grades, from parent, child, or both, can lead to such an approach. Yet, such pressure can turn homework into a cause for anxiety rather than an opportunity for learning, ultimately becoming something both parents and pupils want to get out of the way as quickly as possible, leading to the development of bad habits.

Homework can also give teachers valuable feedback by seeing if there are any gaps in the curriculum or collective blind spots in class learning, for example, a majority of students struggling with the same question. This would become quickly apparent if it is the children who are completing the work, but would remain undetected if parents answer for them.

“I believe it is pointless that parents answer the question on behalf of the child as it doesn’t show teachers that the child found it difficult,” says Liam Walsh, teacher and educational consultant at Dubai's education community Learning To Achieve. “It’s absolutely fine that children get things wrong as it shows teachers what area they need to focus on with that child. From a teacher’s perspective, if most children cannot answer a particular question, then perhaps the homework wasn’t presented well and teachers can learn from that.”

Parents stepping in to take over or complete tasks can erode self-confidence and a child’s belief in their ability to complete educational tasks. It can also rob them of a sense of achievement when they get an answer correct through their own effort, and remove the chance to learn the lessons that come from making mistakes.

“We know that some parents complete homework projects for their child, which defeats the real purpose of homework,” says Gillian Hammond, principal at Repton Dubai. “This decreases the child’s confidence in their learning and stifles their sense of independence. We want students to learn through discovery.”

It’s absolutely fine that children get things wrong as it shows teachers what area they need to focus on

Liam Walsh,
teacher and education consultant

Adds Deakin: “When parents are overly critical of their child, this can demotivate children and make them feel anxious and insecure about home learning. It is important to support children with their learning if they ask for help, but we recommend avoiding micromanaging or hovering over the child constantly.”

Signs you’re doing too much

Driven by a desire to help, parents might be unaware they’re doing too much when it comes to helping with homework.

“If the parent is answering questions more often than the child, or the child is consistently relying on them instead of trying first on their own, these are signs of over-reliance,” says Misra. “Other signs include the parent getting frustrated or taking control of the task or the child losing interest because they aren’t actively engaged in finding solutions.”

If this occurs, experts recommend taking a break, switching to another subject and reminding themselves and their child that it is okay if they don’t complete all tasks in the allotted time.

“As parents, we need to recognise that it is unlikely we can be experts in every subject our children are studying,” says Deakin. “Parents should ask themselves whether it matters more to them or the child that they get it right. Additional learning that will support or stretch our children’s learning is an important one and the biggest question for every parent is – do I celebrate the effort or the result?”

Why trying to get everything right is wrong

Homework can be a tool for independent thinking and lead to more classroom confidence. Getty Images

One of the traps parents and children can fall into with homework is believing that every answer has to be correct and that they need to achieve 100 per cent in all lessons. Certain homework technology that allows children to keep repeating the same modules over and over may encourage them to think they need to keep going until they achieve full marks, when it is their initial attempt that is often the most revealing and best able to give educators a clearer picture of the child’s development.

“When parents are faced with several pieces of home learning, we often make the mistake of focusing on our child completing everything and scoring ‘top marks,’” says Deakin. “A shift in perspective and realising that home learning can be a vital tool for a teacher to know what a child does and does not understand from a lesson can relieve pressure all round.

“It is more valuable to share with a teacher the struggles our children experience and what they don’t know yet than to see a perfect score.”

Guidance rather than answers

With an aim to help grow your child’s independent thinking reasoning and cognitive development, asking guiding questions to help them find their own answers is more beneficial than giving instant solutions.

“Parents are encouraged to ask open-ended questions related to the homework to allow the child to think critically and arrive at the answer on their own,” says Hammond. “If they are struggling, encourage them to explain their thought process to you so that they can identify what it is they do not understand. Instead of giving them the answer outright, provide clues or ask questions to help steer them in the right direction.”

Questions such as “What can you do to find out?”, “What do you need to complete this task?” and “Have you looked at last lesson’s work?” can show children the many different pathways to finding solutions which they can they apply independently.

“Making a child feel safe enough to take a risk and attempt something, knowing they may get it wrong, allows them to grow and understand that we learn best by making mistakes,” says Deakin. “It’s okay not to know everything.”