A new employee has recently been assigned to my team. He has been moved from another department and it took only a few days to figure out why. He is the office grumbler, picking apart and questioning everything from routine discussions in the weekly meeting to team-building activities, the efficiency of the printer and even what's on offer in the office canteen. He's a miserable person and very difficult to be around. How do I prevent his demeanour affecting the rest of the team? PL, Abu Dhabi
Having an “office grouch” as part of the team can be a challenge, especially if that person has a habit of picking apart and questioning your actions. In every group there are influencers and disrupters, people who have the power to influence others, sometimes positively and sometimes negatively.
You seem to have quickly identified a disrupter and it’s important you manage this situation carefully as there is a risk his negative attitude could become contagious and the rest of the workforce inherits his workplace blues.
Before proceeding, I would suggest one “universal truth” you should consider; there is no quick fix or magic wand that changes the behaviour of others. Any behavioural change must be desired by the person concerned, and you can only do your best to promote this. Think about when you have tried to encourage someone to change their lifestyle or stop smoking. Realistically it never works – change starts from within.
Once you accept this it becomes easier to maintain your composure. The less reactive you are, the better you can use your informed judgment to manage this situation. This is not about you. It is about this difficult person and their issues with the workplace.
Never allow this situation to become personal, as it makes finding a solution almost impossible.
This person would have found reasons for displaying the type of behaviour exhibited, it has become like an everyday habit – it works for him and probably helps him get what he wants. He could be distracting others from his own workplace shortcomings, taking pleasure in disrupting people or constantly seeking attention from those around him.
We all remember the name of the naughty kids or class clowns; it’s harder to remember the students who just got their head down and did their work. His misery may not be pleasant, but it gets him noticed.
Behavioural change cannot be forced. All you and others can do is model positive behaviour, encourage, influence and challenge appropriately.
I am sure members of your team have also approached you with concerns about him and many will avoid him at all costs. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to isolate him and his effect on others, maybe giving him a solitary project or managing the extent of his interactions.
However, I would suggest otherwise; I would promote working with him to your team, reassure them and encourage positive behaviour to show them the rewards of doing so. If everyone moves away from him he can still continue with his disruptive behaviour but it’s much more difficult when he is embraced and you kill off this bad behaviour with kindness. You may notice an attitude shift as he realises he must adapt the way he interacts with others to get anything done.
As a manager of this person you also have a responsibility to explore where this misery comes from. It may be a reflection of insecurity, uncertainty or general unhappiness.
This could be in his work life or outside. Equally, he may have learnt from his previous team that the only way to attract attention was to challenge or condemn rather than support. Show him that you and your team are different and help him learn some positive habits.
We all expect new team members to join full of enthusiasm and life. However, when you inherit an office grumbler, you may wish he could go back to where he came from. Leaders and teams who deal effectively with difficult people embrace them and bring them into the fold, even though their gut is telling them to lock that person in the stationery cupboard and throw away the key.
Alex Davda is a business psychologist and consultant at Ashridge Business School, based in the Middle East. Email him at business@thenational.ae for advice on any work issues.
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