The words that flicker across the screen are similar to those appearing in chat rooms around the region at the start of another work day.
"Should I come down with a 'headache' and head to the beach?"
"I was assuming your were logged in from your BB [BlackBerry] while sipping orange juice from the beach."
But then the chatter turns to the short-term economic outlook in the GCC, the activity of international money managers and rumours about individual stocks.
"International trends and regional trading volumes are a bit stinky … people I speak to offer different outlooks, some are offering an upbeat forecast but also warning of the lack of volumes, could deter international funds from rotating money back into regional markets (Qatar excepted, although Doha is a little overdone now?)," the chat continues.
Before long, trades are being made.
A year on from the launch of the Middle East's first virtual stock market trading floor, investors based in the Gulf have transformed the way they do deals.
Trading Middle East, a chat room that operates from Dubai, allows some of the most influential traders and analysts in the region to share their opinions and piece together transactions.
"It's an intelligent conversation rather than with someone who doesn't know anything. It's direct and people can use the information and take it to their client," says Mohammed Ali Yasin, the chief investment officer at CAPM Investment and a participant in trading chat rooms.
The forum differs from the usual instant messaging available on Reuters and Bloomberg terminals because, rather than the one-on-one, business-driven conversation between a broker and client, a community of investment experts has been built up, streaming information and gossip.
Thomson Reuters set up Trading Middle East and similar chat rooms in India, China, Brazil and Russia, and so far, the entire network has attracted more than 4,000 traders looking to buy and sell shares on regional markets.
"There's a lot of wishing each other 'good morning', and that's how it usually gets going," says Mark Jones, who oversees Thomson Reuters' global chat communities from Dubai.
The online chat room is the 21st century's response to the smoky coffee houses of the 18th century, where people would gather, exchange information and put deals together.
"Not just anyone can join, because the information published is often highly sensitive," Mr Jones says.
"People would not feel comfortable to share information with just everyone, and we don't want them to get professionally embarrassed. If you get that right, some great stuff happens, and I'm always surprised by the different things that happen on the forum."
When the Omani mobile-telephone company Nawraswas launching its initial public offering (IPO) in September, those involved in the flotation used the chat room to gauge interest from traders.
"Morgan Stanley was trying to get interest on the IPO and put a couple of paragraphs about the price potential for the company," says Mr Yasin, a regular on the forum. The conversation is "direct and people can use the information and take it to their client".
Speculation that the Abu Dhabi developer Aldar Properties would receive government funding also caused excitement on the Trading Middle East chat room.
"That was a lively day," says Shehzad Janab, a Trading Middle East regular who is the head of asset management at Daman Investments. "People kept talking about Aldar, getting tips and buying the stock because they thought it was about to get a load of money."
But in the days after the builder's shares rose nearly 7 per cent, the most in a month, the conversations became more subdued.
"When there is not much to talk about in the markets, one tends to discuss different topics … the football," says Mr Janab.
"It's not always about 'what do you think of the market'?"
Naturally, not everyone contributes to a typical conversation, although there are on average 250 traders, investors and analysts on Trading Middle East during the UAE market hours of 10am to 2pm.
"I don't participate in the chatting much and just read around. The buy side is more silent and the sell side show how much information they have," says Samer al Jaouni, the general manager at Middle East Financial Brokerage.
Of course, there are times when Mr al Jaouni gets caught up in the excitement, such as when Qatar was selected to host the 2022 FIFA World Cup. "That day there was an interesting discussion and everyone participated," Mr al Jaouni says. "Even I wrote a few sentences about expectations and what might happen in the market."
Private messaging is also a big part of the chat room because it often leads to a deal being made, while users can invite others to discuss more specific topics such as fixed income or equities.
"It is a good way to attract business," Mr al Jaouni says.
fhalime@thenational.ae
Groom and Two Brides
Director: Elie Samaan
Starring: Abdullah Boushehri, Laila Abdallah, Lulwa Almulla
Rating: 3/5
Hili 2: Unesco World Heritage site
The site is part of the Hili archaeological park in Al Ain. Excavations there have proved the existence of the earliest known agricultural communities in modern-day UAE. Some date to the Bronze Age but Hili 2 is an Iron Age site. The Iron Age witnessed the development of the falaj, a network of channels that funnelled water from natural springs in the area. Wells allowed settlements to be established, but falaj meant they could grow and thrive. Unesco, the UN's cultural body, awarded Al Ain's sites - including Hili 2 - world heritage status in 2011. Now the most recent dig at the site has revealed even more about the skilled people that lived and worked there.
Liverpool's all-time goalscorers
Ian Rush 346
Roger Hunt 285
Mohamed Salah 250
Gordon Hodgson 241
Billy Liddell 228
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Key figures in the life of the fort
Sheikh Dhiyab bin Isa (ruled 1761-1793) Built Qasr Al Hosn as a watchtower to guard over the only freshwater well on Abu Dhabi island.
Sheikh Shakhbut bin Dhiyab (ruled 1793-1816) Expanded the tower into a small fort and transferred his ruling place of residence from Liwa Oasis to the fort on the island.
Sheikh Tahnoon bin Shakhbut (ruled 1818-1833) Expanded Qasr Al Hosn further as Abu Dhabi grew from a small village of palm huts to a town of more than 5,000 inhabitants.
Sheikh Khalifa bin Shakhbut (ruled 1833-1845) Repaired and fortified the fort.
Sheikh Saeed bin Tahnoon (ruled 1845-1855) Turned Qasr Al Hosn into a strong two-storied structure.
Sheikh Zayed bin Khalifa (ruled 1855-1909) Expanded Qasr Al Hosn further to reflect the emirate's increasing prominence.
Sheikh Shakhbut bin Sultan (ruled 1928-1966) Renovated and enlarged Qasr Al Hosn, adding a decorative arch and two new villas.
Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan (ruled 1966-2004) Moved the royal residence to Al Manhal palace and kept his diwan at Qasr Al Hosn.
Sources: Jayanti Maitra, www.adach.ae
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Director: Paul Weitz
Stars: Kevin Hart
3/5 stars
SPEC SHEET
Display: 6.8" edge quad-HD dynamic Amoled 2X, Infinity-O, 3088 x 1440, 500ppi, HDR10 , 120Hz
Processor: 4nm Snapdragon 8 Gen 1/Exynos 2200, 8-core
Memory: 8/12GB RAM
Storage: 128/256/512GB/1TB
Platform: Android 12
Main camera: quad 12MP ultra-wide f/2.2, 108MP wide f/1.8, 10MP telephoto f/4.9, 10MP telephoto 2.4; Space Zoom up to 100x, auto HDR, expert RAW
Video: 8K@24fps, 4K@60fps, full-HD@60fps, HD@30fps, super slo-mo@960fps
Front camera: 40MP f/2.2
Battery: 5000mAh, fast wireless charging 2.0 Wireless PowerShare
Connectivity: 5G, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 5.2, NFC
I/O: USB-C
SIM: single nano, or nano and SIM, nano and nano, eSIM/nano and nano
Colours: burgundy, green, phantom black, phantom white, graphite, sky blue, red
Price: Dh4,699 for 128GB, Dh5,099 for 256GB, Dh5,499 for 512GB; 1TB unavailable in the UAE
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Muslim Council of Elders condemns terrorism on religious sites
The Muslim Council of Elders has strongly condemned the criminal attacks on religious sites in Britain.
It firmly rejected “acts of terrorism, which constitute a flagrant violation of the sanctity of houses of worship”.
“Attacking places of worship is a form of terrorism and extremism that threatens peace and stability within societies,” it said.
The council also warned against the rise of hate speech, racism, extremism and Islamophobia. It urged the international community to join efforts to promote tolerance and peaceful coexistence.
BUNDESLIGA FIXTURES
Saturday
Borussia Dortmund v Eintracht Frankfurt (5.30pm kick-off UAE)
Bayer Leverkusen v Schalke (5.30pm)
Wolfsburg v Cologne (5.30pm)
Mainz v Arminia Bielefeld (5.30pm)
Augsburg v Hoffenheim (5.30pm)
RB Leipzig v Bayern Munich (8.30pm)
Borussia Monchengladbach v Freiburg (10.30pm)
Sunday
VfB Stuttgart v Werder Bremen (5.30pm)
Union Berlin v Hertha Berlin (8pm)
The National Archives, Abu Dhabi
Founded over 50 years ago, the National Archives collects valuable historical material relating to the UAE, and is the oldest and richest archive relating to the Arabian Gulf.
Much of the material can be viewed on line at the Arabian Gulf Digital Archive - https://www.agda.ae/en
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A Long Way Home by Peter Carey
Faber & Faber