According to recent surveys, most gleamed from those useful reports cobbled together by the research departments of Lebanese banks, Lebanon is a better place to retire than, among other countries, Serbia, but loses out to, again among other nations, Azerbaijan. Didn’t know that. It also has fewer road deaths than Brazil but more than Botswana and boasts a cleaner environment than Argentina but is dirtier than Syria.
Make of all that what you will. What I really wanted to know was how the Lebanese man ranks among his global peers when it comes to gender politics. Someone really should start a poll, because if our advertising industry is any kind of barometer, and if recent examples of billboard sloganeering are anything to go by, he is still gloriously unreconstructed.
“Chocolates make her fat” was the tactful Valentine’s Day message transmitted by Khoury Home, Lebanon’s leading electronic appliance and white goods outlet, to convince the Lebanese wooer that the object of his affection would prefer a dishwasher over a box of Patchi’s finest.
Even in this corner of the Arab world such mediocrity doesn’t go unnoticed, and Khoury Home makes a feeble attempt to explain the method behind its insensitivity. A spokesman claimed the message had to be seen in the context of another ad, one aimed at women that encouraged them to pick out something other than, wait for it, a teddy bear. Of course. Why didn’t they tell us? Suddenly it all made sense.
Seriously though, what with the implication that it is verboten for women to look anything but sylphlike (and the fatuous, albeit much less insulting, notion that men secretly crave a soft toy) it was all a bit of a mess. I wonder what Khoury Home has planned for Easter?
Then again the ad was aimed at a tricky demographic. Lebanese men are by and large not the most romantic, a condition possibly explained by the fact that most reach middle age by the time they graduate from university. The Lebanese boy will grow up urged by his parents, his father in particular, to forget about following his dream of being a paleontologist, stuntman or tattoo artist and get a proper job, save money and buy a home.
To be fair it’s probably a sentiment shared by most parents. But trust me, in Lebanon this conditioning is writ large, shaped in part, not only by a tradition of shrewd financial husbandry and a historic bent for business, but also by a realisation that the state doesn’t have your back.
Not surprisingly the latest billboard campaign from the Trillium Development Group, a leading Lebanese real estate company, tells us that “A real man gives her a home”. The ad not only taps into our aspiration to be a first-time buyer, but it also implies that a house is where a real man installs his woman. I wonder what the modern Lebanese girl sitting in traffic and reading the billboard might have made of all this? Should she, presumably a “real” woman, buy her home or does she always need a man to do it for her. Someone’s not been reading his Camille Paglia.
Am I over-thinking this? I don’t believe so. Despite our reputation as regional leaders in the ad industry, Lebanese originality is still the one-eyed man in the land of the blind. In the late ‘90s, I met a British creative, resplendent in a black Paul Smith suit, white shirt and the obligatory middle-aged ponytail. I asked him how he rated our ad industry. Being a guru, he didn’t mince his words: “Atrocious,” he groaned in that world-weary way that gurus do. “Beyond the valley of the atrocious. You are where the Far East was in the ‘70s.”
I’d like to think that with the advent of social media, more shared ideas and a generally more vibrant generation of creative minds, we would now have a fresher worldview that allows us to, well, bypass the valley of the atrocious.
Sadly, it appears that road is still being built.
Michael Karam is a freelance writer based in Beirut
Follow us on Twitter @Ind_Insights
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
The%20specs
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COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
Cryopreservation: A timeline
- Keyhole surgery under general anaesthetic
- Ovarian tissue surgically removed
- Tissue processed in a high-tech facility
- Tissue re-implanted at a time of the patient’s choosing
- Full hormone production regained within 4-6 months
Dirham Stretcher tips for having a baby in the UAE
Selma Abdelhamid, the group's moderator, offers her guide to guide the cost of having a young family:
• Buy second hand stuff
They grow so fast. Don't get a second hand car seat though, unless you 100 per cent know it's not expired and hasn't been in an accident.
• Get a health card and vaccinate your child for free at government health centres
Ms Ma says she discovered this after spending thousands on vaccinations at private clinics.
• Join mum and baby coffee mornings provided by clinics, babysitting companies or nurseries.
Before joining baby classes ask for a free trial session. This way you will know if it's for you or not. You'll be surprised how great some classes are and how bad others are.
• Once baby is ready for solids, cook at home
Take the food with you in reusable pouches or jars. You'll save a fortune and you'll know exactly what you're feeding your child.
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
88 Video's most popular rentals
Avengers 3: Infinity War: an American superhero film released in 2018 and based on the Marvel Comics story.
Sholay: a 1975 Indian action-adventure film. It follows the adventures of two criminals hired by police to catch a vagabond. The film was panned on release but is now considered a classic.
Lucifer: is a 2019 Malayalam-language action film. It dives into the gritty world of Kerala’s politics and has become one of the highest-grossing Malayalam films of all time.
Fixtures and results:
Wed, Aug 29:
- Malaysia bt Hong Kong by 3 wickets
- Oman bt Nepal by 7 wickets
- UAE bt Singapore by 215 runs
Thu, Aug 30: UAE v Nepal; Hong Kong v Singapore; Malaysia v Oman
Sat, Sep 1: UAE v Hong Kong; Oman v Singapore; Malaysia v Nepal
Sun, Sep 2: Hong Kong v Oman; Malaysia v UAE; Nepal v Singapore
Tue, Sep 4: Malaysia v Singapore; UAE v Oman; Nepal v Hong Kong
Thu, Sep 6: Final
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
- Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
- Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
- Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
The alternatives
• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.
• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.
• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.
• 2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.
• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases - but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.
The specs
Engine: 2.3-litre, turbo four-cylinder
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Power: 300hp
Torque: 420Nm
Price: Dh189,900
On sale: now
Manchester United v Liverpool
Premier League, kick off 7.30pm (UAE)
Five famous companies founded by teens
There are numerous success stories of teen businesses that were created in college dorm rooms and other modest circumstances. Below are some of the most recognisable names in the industry:
- Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg and his friends started Facebook when he was a 19-year-old Harvard undergraduate.
- Dell: When Michael Dell was an undergraduate student at Texas University in 1984, he started upgrading computers for profit. He starting working full-time on his business when he was 19. Eventually, his company became the Dell Computer Corporation and then Dell Inc.
- Subway: Fred DeLuca opened the first Subway restaurant when he was 17. In 1965, Mr DeLuca needed extra money for college, so he decided to open his own business. Peter Buck, a family friend, lent him $1,000 and together, they opened Pete’s Super Submarines. A few years later, the company was rebranded and called Subway.
- Mashable: In 2005, Pete Cashmore created Mashable in Scotland when he was a teenager. The site was then a technology blog. Over the next few decades, Mr Cashmore has turned Mashable into a global media company.
- Oculus VR: Palmer Luckey founded Oculus VR in June 2012, when he was 19. In August that year, Oculus launched its Kickstarter campaign and raised more than $1 million in three days. Facebook bought Oculus for $2 billion two years later.
Other workplace saving schemes
- The UAE government announced a retirement savings plan for private and free zone sector employees in 2023.
- Dubai’s savings retirement scheme for foreign employees working in the emirate’s government and public sector came into effect in 2022.
- National Bonds unveiled a Golden Pension Scheme in 2022 to help private-sector foreign employees with their financial planning.
- In April 2021, Hayah Insurance unveiled a workplace savings plan to help UAE employees save for their retirement.
- Lunate, an Abu Dhabi-based investment manager, has launched a fund that will allow UAE private companies to offer employees investment returns on end-of-service benefits.
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5