Like-minded souls are the best company

Nima Abu Wardeh craves an alternative and socially-rich style of living called co-housing -where a group of people share the same space while still leading separate, independent lives.

I'm writing this from a riad in Rabat - the capital of Morocco.
No, it's not a luxury stay - more of a backpacker hits middle age type thing, where you're living a tad rough and ready. This place lacks what many of us consider basic comforts.
But it's quiet. And that's a blessing.
A few twists and turns away on foot is the souq - which heaves with the sheer mass of bodies passing through. There are people everywhere: sellers calling out, buyers jostling, motorbikes pushing through along the narrow cobbled path. But here, behind the high walls, we're safe from all that. Peace and solitude reign supreme.
How great it is to get away from the throbbing, noisy masses. But how alone too.
I'm enjoying this seclusion. But that's because life for me is busy - a mix of work and wonderful people.
But for many, this is not the case, and I can see how - even with being surrounded by millions of others - we can slip into becoming isolated and invisible.
I especially get this feeling from the owner of where I'm staying.
She seems to have passed the tipping point of seeking "control" over life and making one that works for her - to where she is now: "empty" and seeking the right mix of people and her own space.
Now that she has no dependents living with her, her solution is to sell up and sail the seas earning a living from cooking on boats - something she did in the past.
But not all of us have such flexible, or in-demand universal skills. So what do we do - having realised that we do want human company after all (pets can sustain you only so long) - while maintaining our independence.
The owner of the riad has inadvertently hit the nail on the head. What we need is people who we can relate to - in her case people who live on boats and explore the world - along with a delicate balance between social and private. Communal and independent. Companionship and commitment.
It's a tough one. But it's an issue we must look at and deliberately decide how we want to live.
This is why the way we live doesn't work: a few days ago someone I know of was found dead by his wife - he'd passed away two days earlier. The wife had been away on a trip. Had she not been in his life, he would probably still be lying there, undiscovered. He was in his 50s.
A friend has a baby. She is a single mother. She does not want to leave her child with home help or in a nursery. She is an only child and has no family. She has no one to turn to.
In fact, single working parents are a superb sample group for what I'm going to share with you - what I believe is a fantastic way of living: together but apart.
It's based on interaction, and it's called co-housing. It's been around since the 1960s at least and has spread across many countries. This is what a New York Times journalist said about the concept: "[it] speaks to people who want to own an apartment, but not feel shut off by it, lost in an impersonal city".
We live in an age of independence and electronic engagement. But we are social creatures. We need human interaction for our well-being.
And I can't say it enough: co-housing is a lifestyle that works - provided you choose the right one for you. If you can't find one, create it. These are places created and run by their residents. Households are self-contained, personal and private. But people come together to share activities, manage the community and even eat or do the laundry together. We're not talking hippy communes. We're talking about meeting our needs. It's about being socially rich and interconnected. The idea either scares you and sends you reaching to lock your front door, or floods your veins with warmth at the idea of sharing, caring, chatting and engaging.
This is not at all like the communities we occupy in the UAE.
Co-housing is about like-minded people coming together to build a way of life that is thought through on every level: how to get the best out of the sun, out of natural surroundings, what you want your home to overlook, how pathways are designed to make sure people interact; see and speak to each other. These are places where you share facilities, know one another, care about how you and your neighbours live. It's what's missing in our big self-centred world.
This is the kind of place I will seek when I leave the UAE. A place where I will feel safe in the knowledge that there are people I like and respect, who I can trust, and who will extend a big group hug to me and my family. Who I know I can reach out to if I am not well, or if I need to travel for work and have someone look after my child.
This is about sustainability - for me, my family and my surrounding. It's about being safe, belonging and thriving.
Nima Abu Wardeh is the founder of the personal finance website cashy.me. You can reach her at [e-mail]
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