There's just one big property billboard left in Dubai these days. Visitors to Cityscape this week will drive past it. It's a throwback to the heady days of the boom.
The Pearl hoarding extends for hundreds of metres along Sheikh Zayed Road.
It urges potential investors to "Live a bespoke lifestyle".
I don't know what a bespoke lifestyle is, but I'm pretty sure I'm not living one.
The hoarding shows a series of giant pictures depicting a life of luxury. The best one has an elderly butler in evening dress dusting a chandelier in a swanky penthouse, all minimal and chrome. This is vintage stuff.
It says to the passing motorist: "That penthouse could be yours. You too could own the bloke with the duster."
It represents the cosy and aspirational dream of property ownership. These days it looks out of place - a bit like Cityscape.
It is advertising at its corniest and most unbelievable.
A more representative advertisement would show a half-built apartment with exposed walls and live wires hanging from the ceiling where the chandelier should be.
Underneath would be an electrocuted butler clutching a charred duster.
The real value of Cityscape is the forum it represents for the industry to get together and talk about the stuff of reality - not fantasy.
I hope this week is all about real projects, home finance, visa rules, service charges, bounced cheques, bricks and mortar.
The butlers should stay below stairs.
scronin@thenational.ae
Company%20Profile
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The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
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The Disaster Artist
Director: James Franco
Starring: James Franco, Dave Franco, Seth Rogan
Four stars
Richard Jewell
Director: Clint Eastwood
Stars: Paul Walter Hauser, Sam Rockwell, Brandon Stanley
Two-and-a-half out of five stars
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Iran's dirty tricks to dodge sanctions
There’s increased scrutiny on the tricks being used to keep commodities flowing to and from blacklisted countries. Here’s a description of how some work.
1 Going Dark
A common method to transport Iranian oil with stealth is to turn off the Automatic Identification System, an electronic device that pinpoints a ship’s location. Known as going dark, a vessel flicks the switch before berthing and typically reappears days later, masking the location of its load or discharge port.
2. Ship-to-Ship Transfers
A first vessel will take its clandestine cargo away from the country in question before transferring it to a waiting ship, all of this happening out of sight. The vessels will then sail in different directions. For about a third of Iranian exports, more than one tanker typically handles a load before it’s delivered to its final destination, analysts say.
3. Fake Destinations
Signaling the wrong destination to load or unload is another technique. Ships that intend to take cargo from Iran may indicate their loading ports in sanction-free places like Iraq. Ships can keep changing their destinations and end up not berthing at any of them.
4. Rebranded Barrels
Iranian barrels can also be rebranded as oil from a nation free from sanctions such as Iraq. The countries share fields along their border and the crude has similar characteristics. Oil from these deposits can be trucked out to another port and documents forged to hide Iran as the origin.
* Bloomberg
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Black Panther
Dir: Ryan Coogler
Starring: Chadwick Boseman, Michael B Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o
Five stars
more from Janine di Giovanni
Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
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The specs: 2018 Nissan Patrol Nismo
Price: base / as tested: Dh382,000
Engine: 5.6-litre V8
Gearbox: Seven-speed automatic
Power: 428hp @ 5,800rpm
Torque: 560Nm @ 3,600rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.7L / 100km
yallacompare profile
Date of launch: 2014
Founder: Jon Richards, founder and chief executive; Samer Chebab, co-founder and chief operating officer, and Jonathan Rawlings, co-founder and chief financial officer
Based: Media City, Dubai
Sector: Financial services
Size: 120 employees
Investors: 2014: $500,000 in a seed round led by Mulverhill Associates; 2015: $3m in Series A funding led by STC Ventures (managed by Iris Capital), Wamda and Dubai Silicon Oasis Authority; 2019: $8m in Series B funding with the same investors as Series A along with Precinct Partners, Saned and Argo Ventures (the VC arm of multinational insurer Argo Group)
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