I was puzzled, I must admit, when the email first arrived. “Please register now for participation in the WIFE,” it said.
Well, I’ve had some funny invitations in my time, but this was simply weird. I already participate in my wife in a full and meaningful manner, what with full-time cohabitation, a six-year-old child, joint credit cards, family holidays, dinners out occasionally. The full panoply of marital participation, in fact.
And, so far in our seven years, I’ve never been required to register to participate in any of it. It just kind of came with sheep’s head and the other stuff at the marriage ceremony in Baku, Azerbaijan, one glorious May morning all those years ago.
Then the dirham dropped. I was actually being asked, of course, to register for the World Islamic Economic Forum, currently being held in Dubai, and it was a “literal” that had slipped through the editing process at some PR agency somewhere.
I remembered similar problems at last year’s edition of the World Islamic Economic Forum in London, where participants were embarrassed by a string of literals that seemed to crop up all over the place.
One PowerPoint presentation last year, I recall, began with the slide “Welcome to the WIFE”, which is a sentiment that could be interpreted in any number of ways.
The problem, it was eventually agreed in London, was the old devil Spellcheck, or Auto Spell, or whatever it’s called by various systems. Not being able to recognise the acronym WIEF as an English word, it has helpfully changed it to something it did recognise, even though hopelessly and nonsensically inappropriate.
(It just tried to change it again now as I wrote those words, but if you go over and retype, the machine eventually gets the message.) With automatic spelling correction now almost universal, obviously some will slip through even the most careful editing process. Be on the lookout at Dubai’s WIEF.
Meanwhile, I’m curious to see how Auto Spell will deal with the forthcoming internet conference in Dubai entitled WiFime.
The Dubai WIEF 2014 has been praiseworthily free of gaffes. Running for another two days, there is always time, I suppose, for a slip-up or two, but so far so good.
The lanyard queue was orderly and efficient, the media goodie bags well equipped with all the essentials – branded flash plug-in, hinged agenda book, list of attendees and biogs etc – but without the embarrassingly grand “gifts” that would have to be returned to the organisers. No WIEF iPads or similar.
The venue, at Madinat Jumeirah, was as excellent as ever, with the lake fully boarded over and a well-designed media centre located on it. It seems strange to be keying these words while I hover a few inches over the water.
And now it’s time to blow my own trumpet. The personal highlight came in the second speech of the opening session, when Essa Kazim, governor of the Dubai International Financial Centre, chose to mention me by name in his address to the assembled leaders of the Islamic financial world.
He quoted something I wrote several months back, to the effect: “This is Dubai. The difficult is done immediately; the impossible takes only a little longer.”
I watched it on TV in the media room, took some stick and a few raspberries from colleagues, and was a little embarrassed. But it was an honour, I must admit, to be singled out by such an eminent UAE leader. Thank you Mr Kazim.
I cannot wait to go home and tell the WIEF.
fkane@thenational.ae
Follow The National's Business section on Twitter