I’ve got a new habit. It’s called WhatsApp stalking. Wait – it’s not quite as bad as it sounds. I’m not harassing strangers or even people I know. In fact, I’m barely communicating with anyone at all.
I’m simply filling idle, Wi-Fi-less moments with scrolling up and down my contacts. And judging.
Look, I’m not saying it’s big or clever, but how can you post your status as “I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife”, and not expect to attract sniggering derision?
I’ve divided my contacts into categories (try it). Among my favourites are the coded boast-by-association: the close-up of a new garish tattoo. The bulging muscles through (not enough) gym clothes. Or the pair of bare legs jutting out towards an infinity pool.
Yep, that picture holding a giant fish is ample proof of machismo. And you – it’s nice to see you in the cockpit, but I hope you weren’t flying without a licence.
Another genre is the perennial celebrity snap. Honestly, it’s great if you met said D-lister a few years ago. I’m not judging.
If it sounds voyeuristic, remember, this isn’t Facebook – these are the pictures people have chosen to represent themselves to the wider public.
Instead of a portrait, one “contact” posted an image of Atlantis’s underwater suite, the implication being that he/she could afford a night there.
The holiday-snap genre offers perhaps the greatest range for creative interpretation. A picture of your passport is never complete without a business-class ticket poking out and a bubbly glass in shot.
I love those who post pictures not of themselves, but of inspirational slogans. “When your heart is breaking and your pain makes you fail: remember, just remember.” I’ll try – but without a photo of your face, I seem to have forgotten who you are.
WhatsApp stalking is the gift that keeps on giving. I need only wait a week and check back for a new round of updated, adolescent laughs.
I discovered not only that one of my closest friends visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa – thanks to the obligatory selfie snap – but also that his Italian itineracy included visits to Rome’s Colosseum and AC Milan’s ground, because he kept changing the picture.
Also, as with many contacts, if my dealings with you are professional, maybe it’s not quite right that I’m exposed to a bikini snap?
Or if you’re a PR, a picture sticking your tongue out might not be entirely appropriate. #Justsaying.
And as cute as your wedding day/pet/baby is, maybe I don’t want to see it? We work together, remember?
Pictures hugging metre-tall liquor bottles by long-term GCC residents strike me as misguided, if not flat-out offensive.
What’s more, having been in the UAE a few years, during which many friends have lost phones or left town, I’ve also amassed dozens of pictures of people I’ve never met. And often, their families, too.
The profile I’m most drawn to, however, remains the snap of my (female) landlord brandishing a crossbow. Subliminal messaging at its best?
What gives me the right to be so cattily judgemental and ceaselessly superior, you might ask? What do I do for my profile picture?
I consciously object – it’s blank. Yep, I’m one of “those”. Go on, judge away.
rgarratt@thenational.ae
Sustainable Development Goals
1. End poverty in all its forms everywhere
2. End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition and promote sustainable agriculture
3. Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages
4. Ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all
5. Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls
6. Ensure availability and sustainable management of water and sanitation for all
7. Ensure access to affordable, reliable, sustainable and modern energy for all
8. Promote sustained, inclusive and sustainable economic growth, full and productive employment and decent work for all
9. Build resilient infrastructure, promote inclusive and sustainable industrialisation and foster innovation
10. Reduce inequality within and among countries
11. Make cities and human settlements inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable
12. Ensure sustainable consumption and production patterns
13. Take urgent action to combat climate change and its effects
14. Conserve and sustainably use the oceans, seas and marine resources for sustainable development
15. Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss
16. Promote peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development, provide access to justice for all and build effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels
17. Strengthen the means of implementation and revitalise the global partnership for sustainable development
What went into the film
25 visual effects (VFX) studios
2,150 VFX shots in a film with 2,500 shots
1,000 VFX artists
3,000 technicians
10 Concept artists, 25 3D designers
New sound technology, named 4D SRL
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: SmartCrowd
Started: 2018
Founder: Siddiq Farid and Musfique Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech / PropTech
Initial investment: $650,000
Current number of staff: 35
Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Various institutional investors and notable angel investors (500 MENA, Shurooq, Mada, Seedstar, Tricap)
SPECS
Engine: 4-litre V8 twin-turbo
Power: 630hp
Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: 8-speed Tiptronic automatic
Price: From Dh599,000
On sale: Now
The Boy and the Heron
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Starring: Soma Santoki, Masaki Suda, Ko Shibasaki
Rating: 5/5
The Pope's itinerary
Sunday, February 3, 2019 - Rome to Abu Dhabi
1pm: departure by plane from Rome / Fiumicino to Abu Dhabi
10pm: arrival at Abu Dhabi Presidential Airport
Monday, February 4
12pm: welcome ceremony at the main entrance of the Presidential Palace
12.20pm: visit Abu Dhabi Crown Prince at Presidential Palace
5pm: private meeting with Muslim Council of Elders at Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque
6.10pm: Inter-religious in the Founder's Memorial
Tuesday, February 5 - Abu Dhabi to Rome
9.15am: private visit to undisclosed cathedral
10.30am: public mass at Zayed Sports City – with a homily by Pope Francis
12.40pm: farewell at Abu Dhabi Presidential Airport
1pm: departure by plane to Rome
5pm: arrival at the Rome / Ciampino International Airport
THE DRAFT
The final phase of player recruitment for the T10 League has taken place, with UAE and Indian players being drafted to each of the eight teams.
Bengal Tigers
UAE players: Chirag Suri, Mohammed Usman
Indian: Zaheer Khan
Karachians
UAE players: Ahmed Raza, Ghulam Shabber
Indian: Pravin Tambe
Kerala Kings
UAE players: Mohammed Naveed, Abdul Shakoor
Indian: RS Sodhi
Maratha Arabians
UAE players: Zahoor Khan, Amir Hayat
Indian: S Badrinath
Northern Warriors
UAE players: Imran Haider, Rahul Bhatia
Indian: Amitoze Singh
Pakhtoons
UAE players: Hafiz Kaleem, Sheer Walli
Indian: RP Singh
Punjabi Legends
UAE players: Shaiman Anwar, Sandy Singh
Indian: Praveen Kumar
Rajputs
UAE players: Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed
Indian: Munaf Patel
Confirmed bouts (more to be added)
Cory Sandhagen v Umar Nurmagomedov
Nick Diaz v Vicente Luque
Michael Chiesa v Tony Ferguson
Deiveson Figueiredo v Marlon Vera
Mackenzie Dern v Loopy Godinez
Tickets for the August 3 Fight Night, held in partnership with the Department of Culture and Tourism Abu Dhabi, went on sale earlier this month, through www.etihadarena.ae and www.ticketmaster.ae.
CREW
Director: Rajesh A Krishnan
Starring: Tabu, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Kriti Sanon
Rating: 3.5/5
Company Fact Box
Company name/date started: Abwaab Technologies / September 2019
Founders: Hamdi Tabbaa, co-founder and CEO. Hussein Alsarabi, co-founder and CTO
Based: Amman, Jordan
Sector: Education Technology
Size (employees/revenue): Total team size: 65. Full-time employees: 25. Revenue undisclosed
Stage: early-stage startup
Investors: Adam Tech Ventures, Endure Capital, Equitrust, the World Bank-backed Innovative Startups SMEs Fund, a London investment fund, a number of former and current executives from Uber and Netflix, among others.
SPEC SHEET
Processor: Apple M2, 8-core GPU, 10-core CPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Display: 13.3-inch Retina, 2560 x 1600, 227ppi, 500 nits, True Tone, wide colour
Memory: 8/16/24GB
Storage: 256/512GB / 1/2TB
I/O: Thunderbolt 3 (2), 3.5mm audio; Touch Bar with Touch ID
Connectivity: Wi-Fi 6, Bluetooth 5.0
Battery: 58.2Wh lithium-polymer, up to 20 hours
Camera: 720p FaceTime HD
Video: Support for HDR with Dolby Vision, HDR10, ProRes
Audio: Stereo speakers with HDR, wide stereo, Spatial Audio support, Dolby support
In the box: MacBook Pro, 67W power adapter, USB-C cable
Price: From Dh5,499
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League, Group B
Barcelona v Inter Milan
Camp Nou, Barcelona
Wednesday, 11pm (UAE)
Tips for taking the metro
- set out well ahead of time
- make sure you have at least Dh15 on you Nol card, as there could be big queues for top-up machines
- enter the right cabin. The train may be too busy to move between carriages once you're on
- don't carry too much luggage and tuck it under a seat to make room for fellow passengers
Remaining Fixtures
Wednesday: West Indies v Scotland
Thursday: UAE v Zimbabwe
Friday: Afghanistan v Ireland
Sunday: Final
Visit Abu Dhabi culinary team's top Emirati restaurants in Abu Dhabi
Yadoo’s House Restaurant+& Cafe
For the karak and Yoodo's house platter with includes eggs, balaleet, khamir and chebab bread.
Golden Dallah
For the cappuccino, luqaimat and aseeda.
Al Mrzab Restaurant
For the shrimp murabian and Kuwaiti options including Kuwaiti machboos with kebab and spicy sauce.
Al Derwaza
For the fish hubul, regag bread, biryani and special seafood soup.
The specs: 2018 Chevrolet Trailblazer
Price, base / as tested Dh99,000 / Dh132,000
Engine 3.6L V6
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power 275hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque 350Nm @ 3,700rpm
Fuel economy combined 12.2L / 100km
Aayan’s records
Youngest UAE men’s cricketer
When he debuted against Bangladesh aged 16 years and 314 days, he became the youngest ever to play for the men’s senior team. He broke the record set by his World Cup squad-mate, Alishan Sharafu, of 17 years and 44 days.
Youngest wicket-taker
After taking the wicket of Bangladesh’s Litton Das on debut in Dubai, Aayan became the youngest male cricketer to take a wicket against a Full Member nation in a T20 international.
Youngest in T20 World Cup history?
Aayan does not turn 17 until November 15 – which is two days after the T20 World Cup final at the MCG. If he does play in the competition, he will be its youngest ever player. Pakistan’s Mohammed Amir, who was 17 years and 55 days when he played in 2009, currently holds the record.