A story making the rounds (and finally popping up in the UAE over at
) indicates that Kim Kardashian and her mother, Kris Jenner, may have faked a key "scene" in the Dubai episode of E!'s
Kourtney & Kim Take New York
. In it, the pair sit in a limo with blacked-out windows, with zero background sound, and have the world's most non-emotional conversation (BlackBerry checking included) about what in any other family would prompt screams if not physical violence: a daughter confessing to her mother that just weeks after her extremely expensive, big-deal wedding, she is having second thoughts. The "evidence" being presented online are papparazzi photos taken in December, showing the pair leaving a Los Angeles production studio separately, Kardashian wearing the exact same outfit and hair, Jenner's tell-tale purple tunic seen trailing behind her.
Anyone who watches this show (and yes, I am a recovering Kardashian addict who can proudly say I have just one
Kourtney & Kim Take New York
episode under my belt in 2012, the result of a momentary backslide) knows without a doubt that almost the entire thing is faked. Each sister wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night in full theatrical make-up. The cast looks bad sometimes, but never too bad. Even their workouts don't seem like real workouts (again with the full make-up). Because they don't sweat. I am not even sure they eat real food on their shows.
Believe me, it's not the quality of these shows that are the draw. If I were to try to define what has been the draw for me, other than the sheer quantity on offer, I would blame a combination of utter inanity, wealth, strangely shiny black hair, a uniformly monotone familial manner of speaking, assorted crazy outfits and the enormously entertaining Scott Disick (the father of Kourtney's child) - who really should get his own show. And while I am sure there are
kernels
of truth in many of the episodes, it only requires a glance to see that most of the scenarios are entirely planned in advance. The following are just a few of the more obvious examples I have witnessed as a result of my previous Kardashian obsession:
•
Kris Jenner and her daughters going for a "power walk" in their neighbourhood, at what appeared to be an
actual
snail's pace, while the "momager" confessed she wanted to change her name back to Kardashian.
VERDICT
: waste of good Lululemon pants.
• Kim taking a far-too-advanced dance class after Prince kicked her off his concert stage, for just
standing there
, only to run out in shame at her inability to execute the moves.
VERDICT
: waste of good Lululemon pants.
• Kim going to visit her new husband Kris Humphries in Minnesota and coming out in a pair of his boxer shorts, saying that was "all she could find to wear".
VERDICT
: waste of the giant Louis Vuitton suitcase she is later shown packing.
• Kourtney visiting her in-laws' house and "cleaning up" for them while they were out, which involved tossing a bunch of their stuff in a pile outside the house, only to learn that her actions were not appreciated.
VERDICT
: fine, there may have been two or three KKTNY episodes in my 2012 so far, but definitely not more than that.
• In that same episode, a strange fight between Kourtney and Scott Disick that suggested he left her, when he really just met her at his parents' house for a weekend getaway.
VERDICT
: Scott Disick is
awesome.
In short, if you must watch these shows (and I understand, there are times when it really cannot be helped) just view any scene where anyone named "Kardashian" or "Jenner" are shopping, having a heartfelt or random conversation, going to sleep, waking up, having an argument with each other, or simply saying nothing at all, as watered-down, massively adjusted versions of what may or may not have happened in their real life. The only real thing about these episodes is the money this crew makes from them.
