Dear Ali: I'm inviting over some of my Emirati friends to my house with a few Arab colleagues, and I'm going to cook them traditional food from my country. Could you tell me how such a meal needs to be served? Should it be one plate at a time, as in my culture? RD, Russia
Dear RD: It’s great to know that you’re doing such a beautiful thing for your Arab friends. It’s always nice to experience different food and cultures.
There’s not a big difference in this matter of hospitality when inviting Muslim friends, but do make sure there’s no pork or alcohol.
I’ve travelled a lot and I saw in Russia and Eastern Europe that dishes are served one by one: starters, followed by soup and the main meal, then drinks with sweets. And sometimes even tea and coffee over lunch or dinner, which is not really the usual case in the Arab world, because these drinks come after meals, not during them.
In Arab culture, it’s always good to show hospitality by giving more than one option on the table, in case any of your guests don’t like something or prefer to eat one dish before another.
That is our way of showing hospitality: the main way to make guests comfortable is to give them the opportunity to eat what they like.
I’m sure your Arab friends will enjoy and appreciate all you do for them.
Dear Ali: I understand that shaking hands is very important in Arab culture, and I'm totally fine with that. But if you're sick with, for example, a cold, would you still shake hands? Is it OK to tell guests not to shake my hand because I have a cold? LU, Ajman
Dear LU: First of all, I hope you get well soon and I appreciate such an interesting observation and question.
Shaking hands is a very important act in the Arab world, whether it’s social, business or at any place and time.
In terms of you feeling comfortable shaking your guests’ hands because you’re sick and worrying that it could be contagious, that’s very kind of you, but, believe it or not, the cultural impact of turning down someone’s hand because you have a cold can be worse than getting them sick.
It all depends on the person. For example, if somebody enters your office and extends their hand to shake yours, and you come to greet them, but then say “Sorry, I can’t shake your hand because I have a cold”, some might see this as a negative gesture, while others may understand and not let it bother them.
It’s understood that if someone is sick with a cold that they would wash constantly and have clean hands.
So I would advise you not to inform guests that you don’t feel comfortable shaking their hands, but if you sincerely apologise for not being able to shake their hands before them extending their hands, then it’s totally fine.
The general rule is that men always appreciate a handshake as a greeting, as it’s important in Arab culture. But there is one thing that we do stop doing when we get sick with a cold: rubbing noses or, as some people call it, “nose kissing”.
If a male friend or colleague has a cold, we automatically get the message and decide not to rub noses – hence we stick to shaking hands.
So in this scenario, keep the handshaking, but don’t “nose kiss”, or kiss on the cheeks, which is also a form of greeting in Arab culture.
Ali Al Saloom is a cultural adviser and public speaker from the UAE. Follow @AskAli on Twitter, and visit www.ask-ali.com to ask him a question.
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