Last week, my cousin tied the knot. All heads turned towards her as she walked into the hall dressed in baby pink, adorned with exquisite flowers. Her eyes were translucent with joy, fear and nervousness with every step she took.
During this time, tears pooled in her mother’s eyes. She tried hard to hide it from the bride, but they kept flowing like a river. Shortly, the groom showed up, accompanied by his sisters. It was a sight to behold, and one that made me just pause and enjoy it.
My cousin and I grew up together. We used to wear matching outfits, like twin sisters. Soon, everything will change. She will be welcomed in a new house, with a new family, in a new environment. It’s like being reborn, with new faces, rooms, smells, food and discussions. Her journey will be filled with discovery, joy and adventure.
I wish her a happy married life. Now my cousin is married, all eyes are on me.
My aunt cried for me because I’m older than my cousin and still single. She wanted me to embark on the marriage train before her daughter. But no two people are alike; no two hearts beat the same.
My mother is also worried now that all of my cousins are married. Some people came to her and told her to marry me off. I took it as a practical joke. One worried lady sat next to me and gave me a lecture. She asked about my age and told me to think seriously about marriage. I told her: “I’m going to Australia next year, why don’t you come with me?” Her eyes widened and she said: “What on earth are you saying?” I laughed and continued joking with her.
I’m grateful that my family respect my thoughts on marriage and life in general. My cousin and I have different hopes and ambitions. I understand the importance of companionship, but I’m not looking for my life partner. It doesn’t happen like that.
I believe destiny brings two hearts together. I’m very content with life. I don’t need to sit and wait for a suitor. Instead, I’ve always kept a positive outlook on life, and to me, it’s full of purpose. I’m taking advantage of my single life, and chasing after my goals and dreams. I dreamt of visiting historical places in Andalusia, and I was privileged to travel there this year. I dreamt up a small-business venture, and recently, after much hard work, I started it. I dreamt of studying my master’s abroad, and next year, I’ll live that dream.
Marriage might have stopped me from travelling to my favourite cities. It might not give me the time to run a business properly. Perhaps my future husband might not allow me to pursue graduate school abroad. Married life is unpredictable, but one thing is certain: when I hit my 30s or 40s, I won’t have any regrets, because many of my dreams have been fulfilled. Marriage is a part of life, not the whole.
Asmaa Al Hameli is a features writer at The National.
If you have a good story to tell or an interesting issue to debate, contact Melinda Healy on mhealy@thenational.ae
