Boat pun by Mark Simmons wins Funniest Joke of the Fringe 2024 award in Edinburgh

Other comics who made it to the top 10 include Olaf Falafel, Masai Graham and Alec Snook

Comedian Mark Simmons at The Garden Gatherings Comedy Gala in Essex. Photo: Alamy

A joke about a small boat by English comedian Mark Simmons has been chosen as this year’s funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The joke goes as follows: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship, but I bottled it.”

In this context, “bottling” means both “putting inside of a bottle” and “failing” in colloquial British speak. The joke was chosen by a panel of comedians and experts who attended various shows at the festival to pick their favourite lines.

The panel selected and submitted 10 of their favourite jokes, after which a poll was held to pick the joke of the year – 2,000 people voted and the joke by Simmons won, with 40 per cent of voters selecting his punchline.

Simmons has been a regular at the festival, with many of his jokes previously nominated. He began performing a decade ago, when his friend convinced him to do an open-mic night. His new show, More Jokes, is on until Saturday at Liquid Rooms Annexe, followed by a 200-date tour.

Of his joke winning, Simmons said: “I'm really chuffed. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers. Can't understand it, I always gave 110 per cent.”

Here are some of the other jokes that made it to the top 10:

Alec Snook: “I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing. It's just one step forward... two steps back.”

Alex Kitson: “Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.”

Arthur Smith: “I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed it.”

Olaf Falafel: “My dad used to say to me 'Pints, gallons, litres', which, I think, speaks volumes.”

Masai Graham: “I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg, so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I've cracked it.”

Olaf Falafel: “The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati.”

Swedish comedian Olaf Falafel won the title for funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2021. Photo: U&Dave

Another joke by Simmons made it to the fifth spot: “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.”

After the funniest joke was revealed, Cherie Hall, director of U&Dave, the television channel that picked the winners, said: “This year's list features a hilarious blend of jokes that are sure to keep us laughing until the next Joke Of The Fringe. With the Joke Of The Fringe now in its 15th year, U&Dave is still committed to supporting great comedy and brilliant gags.”