From left, Cate Blanchett and Ariana Greenblatt in the film Borderlands, based on the hit video game series. Photo: LionsgateCath
From left, Cate Blanchett and Ariana Greenblatt in the film Borderlands, based on the hit video game series. Photo: LionsgateCath
From left, Cate Blanchett and Ariana Greenblatt in the film Borderlands, based on the hit video game series. Photo: LionsgateCath
From left, Cate Blanchett and Ariana Greenblatt in the film Borderlands, based on the hit video game series. Photo: LionsgateCath

Borderlands review: Even Cate Blanchett can't save this disastrous video game adaptation


William Mullally
  • English
  • Arabic

Last year, I had a chat with writer Craig Mazin, who wrote a script for Borderlands before removing his name. He was celebrating the release of HBO’s The Last of Us, widely considered one of the best video game adaptations of all time, and I asked him why the show had so little competition in that category.

There’s a good reason for that, he said. They’re mostly just not made with love.

Businesspeople look at stats and sales and engagement metrics, get excited and buy the rights. Then they call up big-name writers and directors with the shiny new toy in their portfolio, and say, “look at this thing we got, do you want to do it?” The writers and directors say yes because they like the fat pay check that comes with it. But do they care? Not really. It’s just work.

Perhaps there was a point at which Mazin cared deeply about Borderlands, and perhaps that’s how they landed Cate Blanchett, one of best actresses in the world, to star in it. But watching the final product – directed and co-written by Eli Roth – it’s easy to see why the writer who replaced him, Joe Crombie, apparently used a pseudonym.

Borderlands, based on the massively popular first-person shooter space western, is bad – very bad. Unfortunately, it’s not even the kind of bad you can have fun with – that would have taken someone putting their heart into it and failing.

It’s the worst of both worlds, really. The bad video game films of the '90s had campy charm – Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Street Fighter or Super Mario Bros. Meanwhile, Borderlands is a hollow, craven mish-mash of half-baked ideas that is a perfect encapsulation of the age of IP.

Kevin Hart as Roland, Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis, Ariana Greenblatt as Tiny Tina, Florian Munteanu as Krieg, and Cate Blanchett as Lilith in a scene from Borderlands. Photo: Lionsgate
Kevin Hart as Roland, Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis, Ariana Greenblatt as Tiny Tina, Florian Munteanu as Krieg, and Cate Blanchett as Lilith in a scene from Borderlands. Photo: Lionsgate

This is a time when creativity is a secondary concern, debt-ridden studios are full of executives all doing anything they can to avoid being fired, and so all that matters is name recognition, whether it’s a game, doll or grocery store brand (how much longer before a Green Giant frozen vegetable cinematic universe is in the works?).

But anyway, Borderlands is set on the planet Pandora, with Blanchett playing a mercenary named Lilith who’s been tasked with bringing back the teenaged Tiny Tina (Barbie’s Ariana Greenblatt) to her father Atlas (Edgar Ramirez), Pandora’s most powerful businessman.

BORDERLANDS

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis

Director: Eli Roth

Rating: 0/5

This is interrupted when Tiny Tina’s crew, which includes another mercenary named Roland (a tough-as-nails straight man played inexplicably by Kevin Hart) and Krieg (Florian Munteanu), a guy with muscles who wears a mask and mostly grunts. They team up to find some sort of vault which might hold a secret powerful thing of some kind. To quote Tim from The Office, I’m boring myself just talking about it.

Jamie Lee Curtis takes up space in the film for much of the runtime, which will mostly leave you wondering how she ever won an Oscar as she can’t seem to deliver a single line that rings true.

The film leans heavily on mad-cap violent comedy. Tiny Tina throws bombs at people like firecrackers. Jack Black voices a robot named Claptrap who is there to provide humorous asides and commentary, but will likely never elicit a smile from viewers.

Borderlands was originally set to be written by The Last of Us creator Craig Mazin, who removed his name from the film in 2023. Photo: Lionsgate
Borderlands was originally set to be written by The Last of Us creator Craig Mazin, who removed his name from the film in 2023. Photo: Lionsgate

Roth, the man who will likely be remembered as the guy who played the cool role that was written for Adam Sandler in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, brings no noticeable flair to the proceedings. It’s hard to know whether he was unwilling or unable to inject some basic human feeling here at any point.

I yearned for Blanchett to at least seem like she was having fun with this mess, but her exaggerated brightly coloured wig is the campiest thing here. She’s trudging through it, as are the rest of them, and if this was the first time I’d seen her in a film, I doubt I’d remember her face when looking back at it.

Run for the hills from Borderlands, there’s no joy to be had here.

If you go

The flights

The closest international airport for those travelling from the UAE is Denver, Colorado. British Airways (www.ba.com) flies from the UAE via London from Dh3,700 return, including taxes. From there, transfers can be arranged to the ranch or it’s a seven-hour drive. Alternatively, take an internal flight to the counties of Cody, Casper, or Billings

The stay

Red Reflet offers a series of packages, with prices varying depending on season. All meals and activities are included, with prices starting from US$2,218 (Dh7,150) per person for a minimum stay of three nights, including taxes. For more information, visit red-reflet-ranch.net.

 

Sheer grandeur

The Owo building is 14 storeys high, seven of which are below ground, with the 30,000 square feet of amenities located subterranean, including a 16-seat private cinema, seven lounges, a gym, games room, treatment suites and bicycle storage.

A clear distinction between the residences and the Raffles hotel with the amenities operated separately.

Dhadak 2

Director: Shazia Iqbal

Starring: Siddhant Chaturvedi, Triptii Dimri 

Rating: 1/5

Brahmastra%3A%20Part%20One%20-%20Shiva
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Brief scoreline:

Manchester United 2

Rashford 28', Martial 72'

Watford 1

Doucoure 90'

The White Lotus: Season three

Creator: Mike White

Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell

Rating: 4.5/5

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ANDROID%20VERSION%20NAMES%2C%20IN%20ORDER
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Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989

Director: Goran Hugo Olsson

Rating: 5/5

Aayan%E2%80%99s%20records
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20UAE%20men%E2%80%99s%20cricketer%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EWhen%20he%20debuted%20against%20Bangladesh%20aged%2016%20years%20and%20314%20days%2C%20he%20became%20the%20youngest%20ever%20to%20play%20for%20the%20men%E2%80%99s%20senior%20team.%20He%20broke%20the%20record%20set%20by%20his%20World%20Cup%20squad-mate%2C%20Alishan%20Sharafu%2C%20of%2017%20years%20and%2044%20days.%3Cbr%3E%20%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20wicket-taker%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EAfter%20taking%20the%20wicket%20of%20Bangladesh%E2%80%99s%20Litton%20Das%20on%20debut%20in%20Dubai%2C%20Aayan%20became%20the%20youngest%20male%20cricketer%20to%20take%20a%20wicket%20against%20a%20Full%20Member%20nation%20in%20a%20T20%20international.%3Cbr%3E%20%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EYoungest%20in%20T20%20World%20Cup%20history%3F%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EAayan%20does%20not%20turn%2017%20until%20November%2015%20%E2%80%93%20which%20is%20two%20days%20after%20the%20T20%20World%20Cup%20final%20at%20the%20MCG.%20If%20he%20does%20play%20in%20the%20competition%2C%20he%20will%20be%20its%20youngest%20ever%20player.%20Pakistan%E2%80%99s%20Mohammed%20Amir%2C%20who%20was%2017%20years%20and%2055%20days%20when%20he%20played%20in%202009%2C%20currently%20holds%20the%20record.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
MATCH INFO

CAF Champions League semi-finals first-leg fixtures

Tuesday:

Primeiro Agosto (ANG) v Esperance (TUN) (8pm UAE)
Al Ahly (EGY) v Entente Setif (ALG) (11PM)

Second legs:

October 23

Like a Fading Shadow

Antonio Muñoz Molina

Translated from the Spanish by Camilo A. Ramirez

Tuskar Rock Press (pp. 310)

THE BIO

Favourite author - Paulo Coelho 

Favourite holiday destination - Cuba 

New York Times or Jordan Times? NYT is a school and JT was my practice field

Role model - My Grandfather 

Dream interviewee - Che Guevara

The Saudi Cup race card

1 The Jockey Club Local Handicap (TB) 1,800m (Dirt) $500,000

2 The Riyadh Dirt Sprint (TB) 1,200m (D) $1.500,000

3 The 1351 Turf Sprint 1,351m (Turf) $1,000,000

4 The Saudi Derby (TB) 1600m (D) $800,000

5 The Neom Turf Cup (TB) 2,100m (T) $1,000,000

6 The Obaiya Arabian Classic (PB) 2,000m (D) $1,900,000

7 The Red Sea Turf Handicap (TB) 3,000m (T) $2,500,000

8 The Saudi Cup (TB) 1,800m (D) $20,000,000

POSSIBLE ENGLAND EURO 2020 SQUAD

Goalkeepers: Jordan Pickford, Nick Pope, Dean Henderson.
Defenders: Trent Alexander-Arnold, Kieran Trippier, Joe Gomez, John Stones, Harry Maguire, Tyrone Mings, Ben Chilwell, Fabian Delph.
Midfielders: Declan Rice, Harry Winks, Jordan Henderson, Ross Barkley, Mason Mount, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Forwards: Harry Kane, Raheem Sterling, Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho, Tammy Abraham, Callum Hudson-Odoi.

Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20myZoi%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202021%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Syed%20Ali%2C%20Christian%20Buchholz%2C%20Shanawaz%20Rouf%2C%20Arsalan%20Siddiqui%2C%20Nabid%20Hassan%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20UAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2037%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Initial%20undisclosed%20funding%20from%20SC%20Ventures%3B%20second%20round%20of%20funding%20totalling%20%2414%20million%20from%20a%20consortium%20of%20SBI%2C%20a%20Japanese%20VC%20firm%2C%20and%20SC%20Venture%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
If you go

Flights

Emirates flies from Dubai to Phnom Penh with a stop in Yangon from Dh3,075, and Etihad flies from Abu Dhabi to Phnom Penh with its partner Bangkok Airlines from Dh2,763. These trips take about nine hours each and both include taxes. From there, a road transfer takes at least four hours; airlines including KC Airlines (www.kcairlines.com) offer quick connecting flights from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville from about $100 (Dh367) return including taxes. Air Asia, Malindo Air and Malaysian Airlines fly direct from Kuala Lumpur to Sihanoukville from $54 each way. Next year, direct flights are due to launch between Bangkok and Sihanoukville, which will cut the journey time by a third.

The stay

Rooms at Alila Villas Koh Russey (www.alilahotels.com/ kohrussey) cost from $385 per night including taxes.

Company%C2%A0profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Eamana%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2010%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Karim%20Farra%20and%20Ziad%20Aboujeb%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EUAE%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERegulator%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDFSA%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinancial%20services%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20number%20of%20staff%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E85%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESelf-funded%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Book%20Details
%3Cp%3E%3Cem%3EThree%20Centuries%20of%20Travel%20Writing%20by%20Muslim%20Women%3C%2Fem%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EEditors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESiobhan%20Lambert-Hurley%2C%20Daniel%20Majchrowicz%2C%20Sunil%20Sharma%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPublisher%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EIndiana%20University%20Press%3B%20532%20pages%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EAuthor%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Zeina%20Hashem%20Beck%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPages%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20112%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPublisher%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Penguin%20Books%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EAvailable%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Now%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Jaume%20Collet-Serra%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dwayne%20Johnson%2C%20Sarah%20Shahi%2C%20Viola%20Davis%2C%20Pierce%20Brosnan%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The biog

Favourite film: The Notebook  

Favourite book: What I know for sure by Oprah Winfrey

Favourite quote: “Social equality is the only basis of human happiness” Nelson Madela.           Hometown: Emmen, The Netherlands

Favourite activities: Walking on the beach, eating at restaurants and spending time with friends

Job: Founder and Managing Director of Mawaheb from Beautiful Peopl

The Penguin

Starring: Colin Farrell, Cristin Milioti, Rhenzy Feliz

Creator: Lauren LeFranc

Rating: 4/5

Timeline

2012-2015

The company offers payments/bribes to win key contracts in the Middle East

May 2017

The UK SFO officially opens investigation into Petrofac’s use of agents, corruption, and potential bribery to secure contracts

September 2021

Petrofac pleads guilty to seven counts of failing to prevent bribery under the UK Bribery Act

October 2021

Court fines Petrofac £77 million for bribery. Former executive receives a two-year suspended sentence 

December 2024

Petrofac enters into comprehensive restructuring to strengthen the financial position of the group

May 2025

The High Court of England and Wales approves the company’s restructuring plan

July 2025

The Court of Appeal issues a judgment challenging parts of the restructuring plan

August 2025

Petrofac issues a business update to execute the restructuring and confirms it will appeal the Court of Appeal decision

October 2025

Petrofac loses a major TenneT offshore wind contract worth €13 billion. Holding company files for administration in the UK. Petrofac delisted from the London Stock Exchange

November 2025

180 Petrofac employees laid off in the UAE

The specs: 2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk


Price, base: Dh399,999
Engine: Supercharged 6.2-litre V8
Gearbox: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 707hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 875Nm @ 4,800rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 16.8L / 100km (estimate)

Groom and Two Brides

Director: Elie Semaan

Starring: Abdullah Boushehri, Laila Abdallah, Lulwa Almulla

Rating: 3/5

Zakat definitions

Zakat: an Arabic word meaning ‘to cleanse’ or ‘purification’.

Nisab: the minimum amount that a Muslim must have before being obliged to pay zakat. Traditionally, the nisab threshold was 87.48 grams of gold, or 612.36 grams of silver. The monetary value of the nisab therefore varies by current prices and currencies.

Zakat Al Mal: the ‘cleansing’ of wealth, as one of the five pillars of Islam; a spiritual duty for all Muslims meeting the ‘nisab’ wealth criteria in a lunar year, to pay 2.5 per cent of their wealth in alms to the deserving and needy.

Zakat Al Fitr: a donation to charity given during Ramadan, before Eid Al Fitr, in the form of food. Every adult Muslim who possesses food in excess of the needs of themselves and their family must pay two qadahs (an old measure just over 2 kilograms) of flour, wheat, barley or rice from each person in a household, as a minimum.

EA Sports FC 26

Publisher: EA Sports

Consoles: PC, PlayStation 4/5, Xbox Series X/S

Rating: 3/5

BORDERLANDS

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis

Director: Eli Roth

Rating: 0/5

Updated: August 13, 2024, 9:30 AM