When the British political comedian Mark Thomas announced he was publishing a book about rambling, it's likely many of his fans were a bit bemused. After all, this was a comic - or "libertarian anarchist" as he sometimes calls himself - who once persuaded an Indonesian military chief to admit to torture on camera by posing as a public relations agency representing dictatorships. Over the past few years, Thomas has tied himself to a bus taking arms dealers to a weapons fair, put a bounty on the head of George W Bush, and been added to the Guinness World Records for attending more demonstrations in one day (20 protests in 20 different locations). Rambling seemed a bit on the mild side.
But Thomas's walking tour wasn't your average affair. It was in the West Bank, following Israel's illegal separation barrier from one end to the other, a hike that would involve tear gas, demonstrations and a whole lot of military checkpoints. A controversial wall dividing an even more controversial region of the world was definitely Mark Thomas territory (not that it stopped a fellow comedian asking him why he couldn't just stand up and tell a joke, like everyone else in the profession).
"It was a mixture of devilment and curiosity," says Thomas on what first gave him the idea. "Curiosity because I didn't think I knew enough about what was happening there, and there seems to be a lot of liberal fudge where people cringe and say they don't want to talk about it."
So, over eight-and-a-half weeks in 2009, Thomas and his cameraman journeyed the length the wall from the north-easterly tip, where the River Jordan meets the Jordan Valley, to the very bottom. The adventure is described in Extreme Rambling, his book recently published by Ebury.
Working out the logistics for such an expedition didn't involve simply buying an Ordnance Survey map and a compass. Thomas first did a reccy in East Jerusalem, meeting Palestinian groups and Israeli activists and speaking to solicitors, human rights organisations and media fixers. Hotel bookings proved tricky. The first night he slept in a barn, the second in a garage. After a few days he landed in Jenin and visited the Freedom Theatre in the city's refugee camp. Here, Thomas met the theatre's charismatic director Juliano Mer-Khamis (who was tragically murdered by gunmen earlier this year), and he used the theatre for a base for the first section of the ramble.
"We'd set out each morning and go to the wall and then turn and start hiking, eventually hooking up with our translators. Normally, we'd have an interview with someone, and after that we'd start the ramble. But inevitably something would happen, things would occur and we'd be faced with something we hadn't thought of. For the first week it was a real struggle getting from A to B."
Among the incidents he found himself immersed in were the weekly demonstrations at Bil'in, a village near Ramallah that in 2009 forced an order by the Israeli High Court of Justice for the army to reroute the wall, which has swallowed half its land. The army has not adhered to the court order and every Friday, protesters made up of Israeli anarchists, Palestinian youths, scout bands and even people dressed as clowns march to the wall. And almost every time they get forced back by tear gas. Thomas found himself stuck with one of the clowns as the gas canisters landed. "I had to help him up the hill because he had big shoes on."
On his travels he also came across those who have made their living under the lawlessness that the wall brings, including illegal scrap heaps letting out toxic fumes - things that exist because the Israeli army don't care and the Palestinian police won't come near it because of the wall.
He also witnessed the humiliation of Palestinians trying to pass from one side of the wall to the other, usually to access the land that was theirs before it was carved up by the concrete. In one spot he saw people queuing up at the barrier at 2am for its 5am opening simply so they can get to work on time.
One of the most interesting things he noticed was the inconsistency of the wall, put up supposedly for security reasons. "In the south, there are bits where it isn't finished, where we actually managed to sneak across a few times," he says, adding that he met many who crossed illegally all the time. "So there's a paradox here with the idea that this stops suicide bombers."
Naturally, in a land littered with military checkpoints, Thomas got stopped rather a lot of times, which helped him perfect his technique of dealing with the inevitable questions regarding his motives. "I just used to say that we were making a book about rambling, which is true. After a while the army would ask: 'Is it just about walking? Are you talking to people too?'"
Another major disruption to Thomas's schedule proved to be the endless rounds of coffee and tea laid on by locals in the West Bank, something he calls the "Palestinian roadblock". Because of this hospitality he says he actually went home having put weight on.
Despite admitting that optimism isn't "in big supply", Thomas is clear about how the situation should end. "Without doubt, the wall has to come down and the occupation has to end. This wall is a brutal extension of the occupation and is an evil and humiliating thing." He points to the growing boycott movement, plus the non-violent community groups and Israeli activists as positive tools to that end.
As for Thomas, he might not be hanging up his politically minded boots just yet. In fact, with rambling and conflict he might just have found himself a subject worth exploring further. "When I got back home I got a call from a friend asking, 'What are you doing next?' I think there's something going on in Burma.'"
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
SPECS
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%201.5-litre%204-cylinder%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20101hp%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20135Nm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3A%20Six-speed%20auto%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20From%20Dh79%2C900%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Now%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Brief scores:
Manchester United 4
Young 13', Mata 28', Lukaku 42', Rashford 82'
Fulham 1
Kamara 67' (pen),
Red card: Anguissa (68')
Man of the match: Juan Mata (Man Utd)
The specs: 2018 Nissan Altima
Price, base / as tested: Dh78,000 / Dh97,650
Engine: 2.5-litre in-line four-cylinder
Power: 182hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 244Nm @ 4,000rpm
Transmission: Continuously variable tranmission
Fuel consumption, combined: 7.6L / 100km
'Top Gun: Maverick'
Rating: 4/5
Directed by: Joseph Kosinski
Starring: Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Jon Hamm, Miles Teller, Glen Powell, Ed Harris
Banned items
Dubai Police has also issued a list of banned items at the ground on Sunday. These include:
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Political flags or banners
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Bikes, skateboards or scooters
Command%20Z
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%C2%A0%3C%2Fstrong%3ESteven%20Soderbergh%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%C2%A0%3C%2Fstrong%3EMichael%20Cera%2C%20Liev%20Schreiber%2C%20Chloe%20Radcliffe%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%C2%A03%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The biog
Favourite book: Men are from Mars Women are from Venus
Favourite travel destination: Ooty, a hill station in South India
Hobbies: Cooking. Biryani, pepper crab are her signature dishes
Favourite place in UAE: Marjan Island
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
BUNDESLIGA FIXTURES
Saturday, May 16 (kick-offs UAE time)
Borussia Dortmund v Schalke (4.30pm)
RB Leipzig v Freiburg (4.30pm)
Hoffenheim v Hertha Berlin (4.30pm)
Fortuna Dusseldorf v Paderborn (4.30pm)
Augsburg v Wolfsburg (4.30pm)
Eintracht Frankfurt v Borussia Monchengladbach (7.30pm)
Sunday, May 17
Cologne v Mainz (4.30pm),
Union Berlin v Bayern Munich (7pm)
Monday, May 18
Werder Bremen v Bayer Leverkusen (9.30pm)
MATCH INFO
Bayern Munich 2 Borussia Monchengladbach 1
Bayern: Zirkzee (26'), Goretzka (86')
Gladbach: Pavard (37' og)
Man of the Match: Breel Embolo (Borussia Monchengladbach)
BIOSAFETY LABS SECURITY LEVELS
Biosafety Level 1
The lowest safety level. These labs work with viruses that are minimal risk to humans.
Hand washing is required on entry and exit and potentially infectious material decontaminated with bleach before thrown away.
Must have a lock. Access limited. Lab does not need to be isolated from other buildings.
Used as teaching spaces.
Study microorganisms such as Staphylococcus which causes food poisoning.
Biosafety Level 2
These labs deal with pathogens that can be harmful to people and the environment such as Hepatitis, HIV and salmonella.
Working in Level 2 requires special training in handling pathogenic agents.
Extra safety and security precautions are taken in addition to those at Level 1
Biosafety Level 3
These labs contain material that can be lethal if inhaled. This includes SARS coronavirus, MERS, and yellow fever.
Significant extra precautions are taken with staff given specific immunisations when dealing with certain diseases.
Infectious material is examined in a biological safety cabinet.
Personnel must wear protective gowns that must be discarded or decontaminated after use.
Strict safety and handling procedures are in place. There must be double entrances to the building and they must contain self-closing doors to reduce risk of pathogen aerosols escaping.
Windows must be sealed. Air from must be filtered before it can be recirculated.
Biosafety Level 4
The highest level for biosafety precautions. Scientist work with highly dangerous diseases that have no vaccine or cure.
All material must be decontaminated.
Personnel must wear a positive pressure suit for protection. On leaving the lab this must pass through decontamination shower before they have a personal shower.
Entry is severely restricted to trained and authorised personnel. All entries are recorded.
Entrance must be via airlocks.
Fixtures
Tuesday - 5.15pm: Team Lebanon v Alger Corsaires; 8.30pm: Abu Dhabi Storms v Pharaohs
Wednesday - 5.15pm: Pharaohs v Carthage Eagles; 8.30pm: Alger Corsaires v Abu Dhabi Storms
Thursday - 4.30pm: Team Lebanon v Pharaohs; 7.30pm: Abu Dhabi Storms v Carthage Eagles
Friday - 4.30pm: Pharaohs v Alger Corsaires; 7.30pm: Carthage Eagles v Team Lebanon
Saturday - 4.30pm: Carthage Eagles v Alger Corsaires; 7.30pm: Abu Dhabi Storms v Team Lebanon
match info
Southampton 0
Arsenal 2 (Nketiah 20', Willock 87')
Red card: Jack Stephens (Southampton)
Man of the match: Rob Holding (Arsenal)
THE BIO
Occupation: Specialised chief medical laboratory technologist
Age: 78
Favourite destination: Always Al Ain “Dar Al Zain”
Hobbies: his work - “ the thing which I am most passionate for and which occupied all my time in the morning and evening from 1963 to 2019”
Other hobbies: football
Favorite football club: Al Ain Sports Club
The biog
Hometown: Birchgrove, Sydney Australia
Age: 59
Favourite TV series: Outlander Netflix series
Favourite place in the UAE: Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque / desert / Louvre Abu Dhabi
Favourite book: Father of our Nation: Collected Quotes of Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan
Thing you will miss most about the UAE: My friends and family, Formula 1, having Friday's off, desert adventures, and Arabic culture and people
Groom and Two Brides
Director: Elie Semaan
Starring: Abdullah Boushehri, Laila Abdallah, Lulwa Almulla
Rating: 3/5
How to invest in gold
Investors can tap into the gold price by purchasing physical jewellery, coins and even gold bars, but these need to be stored safely and possibly insured.
A cheaper and more straightforward way to benefit from gold price growth is to buy an exchange-traded fund (ETF).
Most advisers suggest sticking to “physical” ETFs. These hold actual gold bullion, bars and coins in a vault on investors’ behalf. Others do not hold gold but use derivatives to track the price instead, adding an extra layer of risk. The two biggest physical gold ETFs are SPDR Gold Trust and iShares Gold Trust.
Another way to invest in gold’s success is to buy gold mining stocks, but Mr Gravier says this brings added risks and can be more volatile. “They have a serious downside potential should the price consolidate.”
Mr Kyprianou says gold and gold miners are two different asset classes. “One is a commodity and the other is a company stock, which means they behave differently.”
Mining companies are a business, susceptible to other market forces, such as worker availability, health and safety, strikes, debt levels, and so on. “These have nothing to do with gold at all. It means that some companies will survive, others won’t.”
By contrast, when gold is mined, it just sits in a vault. “It doesn’t even rust, which means it retains its value,” Mr Kyprianou says.
You may already have exposure to gold miners in your portfolio, say, through an international ETF or actively managed mutual fund.
You could spread this risk with an actively managed fund that invests in a spread of gold miners, with the best known being BlackRock Gold & General. It is up an incredible 55 per cent over the past year, and 240 per cent over five years. As always, past performance is no guide to the future.