Possibly humorous would be the notion that the recent Fifa fuss somehow qualifies as "bad" for football. While the viewpoint seems well-meaning and conventionally wise - spokespeople for major sponsors have expressed it - time on Earth has shown all of us the impossibility of anything being bad for football.
Football has weathered Joey Barton, the Newcastle United midfielder, which should demonstrate a profound indestructibility straight away. It has breezed right on through ludicrous kerfuffles, when many a sport could - and, really, should - shut down after such.
People still cheer ravenously for the Chelsea defenders John Terry and Ashley Cole.
Here is a game that transcends.
In fact, here is a game that transcends to such degree that it's pretty much a Boeing 747 cruising well above all storms, storm clouds and even all turbulence. Whatever it would take to deter people from coming to the ground or watching from the sofa, well, that thing would be too grisly to mention, in case somebody is eating breakfast. Suffice to say that if the seas rose abruptly and flooded the planet one day, deep in Brazil you still would find some stadium with 50,000 in attendance for a match with a considerable television audience.
Fans might view Fifa as a corrupt clown brigade, but it would be hard to picture that achievement in accuracy keeping a single person from watching the "beautiful game". In the event one upright oddball does vow cold turkey, it might be instructive to follow him or her next fall, so as to spy him or her sneaking out of the house on a Saturday at 2pm.
The Fifa fiasco has importance because it has demonstrated much, including - just a shortlist - how unfettered power in an oligarchy can work, how individuals behave amid hailstorms of unearned money, how decisions in football may well occur, and how at a Fifa gathering it can be prudent to rent more than one hotel conference room so as to have the meeting in one and the bribes in the other.
It's just that, strangely, none of this seems to have anything to do with the health of football. It seems unusually off-to-the-side. It could affect certain planned occasions within football, certainly, but lends no meaningful tarnish to a game that blithely wears layers of so-called tarnish and persists with boom. Whenever somebody says something mars the image of the game, the comment always sounds as if flung from some naive and possibly fanciful past.
Whenever somebody says something mars the image of Fifa, now, that just blows the mind. How do you mar something so marred that marred graces its definition?
The public has demonstrated serially and in many a country that it wants 22 men on a pitch and it wants drama and it wants victory. It does not care all that much how it gets it. You get the victory now; we'll come up with the rationalisations later. If the public were ever shockable back in some sepia-toned era, it has now surpassed that affliction.
As retold this week on an excellent BBC radio programme, Fifa went from birth in 1904 into the 1970s as an amateur operation with a wee staff and an unthinkable willingness to give away its television rights. Through the 1970s and 1980s and fresh sponsorships and television rights, money cascaded in toward people who did not deserve it especially. It almost makes sense that the whole thing would devolve into grotesque family squabble.
The lunacy amassed still more yesterday when the American committee member, Chuck Blazer, received a firing from his post as the general secretary of Concacaf - the North American federation - because the acting president chafed at Blazer's call-out on the now-infamous alleged bribery in Trinidad. Apparently, Blazer also did not receive a firing because the bungler doing the firing lacked the authority to fire him.
While this does provide another merry chapter, and while the hints and shouts of bribery might wreak some disgust or derision, and while Fifa president Sepp Blatter did on Monday make the sure-to-be-deathless comment, "I am the president of Fifa. You cannot question me", and while nobody could dispute this pomposity given the organisation's uncommon insulation from oversight …
Here's a prediction:
Humongous television audience will watch the World Cups in Brazil 2014, Russia 2018 and Qatar 2022, with the last boasting the allure of seeing just who might keel over in the furnace.
cculpepper@thenational.ae
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, second leg:
Liverpool (0) v Barcelona (3), Tuesday, 11pm UAE
Game is on BeIN Sports
Barbie
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Avatar: Fire and Ash
Director: James Cameron
Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana
Rating: 4.5/5
ABU DHABI ORDER OF PLAY
Starting at 10am:
Daria Kasatkina v Qiang Wang
Veronika Kudermetova v Annet Kontaveit (10)
Maria Sakkari (9) v Anastasia Potapova
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova v Ons Jabeur (15)
Donna Vekic (16) v Bernarda Pera
Ekaterina Alexandrova v Zarina Diyas
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Who's who in Yemen conflict
Houthis: Iran-backed rebels who occupy Sanaa and run unrecognised government
Yemeni government: Exiled government in Aden led by eight-member Presidential Leadership Council
Southern Transitional Council: Faction in Yemeni government that seeks autonomy for the south
Habrish 'rebels': Tribal-backed forces feuding with STC over control of oil in government territory
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Result
2.15pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,950m; Winner: Majestic Thunder, Tadhg O’Shea (jockey), Satish Seemar (trainer).
2.45pm: Handicap Dh80,000 1,800m; Winner: Tailor’s Row, Royston Ffrench, Salem bin Ghadayer.
3.15pm: Handicap Dh85,000 1,600m; Winner: Native Appeal, Adam McLean, Doug Watson.
3.45pm: Handicap Dh115,000 1,950m; Winner: Conclusion, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi.
4.15pm: Handicap Dh100,000 1,400m; Winner: Pilgrim’s Treasure, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.
4.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,400m; Winner: Sanad Libya, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar.
5.15pm: Handicap Dh90,000 1,000m; Winner: Midlander, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar
How it works
Each player begins with one of the great empires of history, from Julius Caesar's Rome to Ramses of Egypt, spread over Europe and the Middle East.
Round by round, the player expands their empire. The more land they have, the more money they can take from their coffers for each go.
As unruled land and soldiers are acquired, players must feed them. When a player comes up against land held by another army, they can choose to battle for supremacy.
A dice-based battle system is used and players can get the edge on their enemy with by deploying a renowned hero on the battlefield.
Players that lose battles and land will find their coffers dwindle and troops go hungry. The end goal? Global domination of course.
Scorecard:
England 458 & 119/1 (51.0 ov)
South Africa 361
England lead by 216 runs with 9 wickets remaining
MATCH INFO
Real Madrid 3 (Kroos 4', Ramos 30', Marcelo 37')
Eibar 1 (Bigas 60')
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
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The five pillars of Islam
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Understand What Black Is
The Last Poets
(Studio Rockers)
Trump v Khan
2016: Feud begins after Khan criticised Trump’s proposed Muslim travel ban to US
2017: Trump criticises Khan’s ‘no reason to be alarmed’ response to London Bridge terror attacks
2019: Trump calls Khan a “stone cold loser” before first state visit
2019: Trump tweets about “Khan’s Londonistan”, calling him “a national disgrace”
2022: Khan’s office attributes rise in Islamophobic abuse against the major to hostility stoked during Trump’s presidency
July 2025 During a golfing trip to Scotland, Trump calls Khan “a nasty person”
Sept 2025 Trump blames Khan for London’s “stabbings and the dirt and the filth”.
Dec 2025 Trump suggests migrants got Khan elected, calls him a “horrible, vicious, disgusting mayor”
Expo details
Expo 2020 Dubai will be the first World Expo to be held in the Middle East, Africa and South Asia
The world fair will run for six months from October 20, 2020 to April 10, 2021.
It is expected to attract 25 million visits
Some 70 per cent visitors are projected to come from outside the UAE, the largest proportion of international visitors in the 167-year history of World Expos.
More than 30,000 volunteers are required for Expo 2020
The site covers a total of 4.38 sqkm, including a 2 sqkm gated area
It is located adjacent to Al Maktoum International Airport in Dubai South
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Akeed
Based: Muscat
Launch year: 2018
Number of employees: 40
Sector: Online food delivery
Funding: Raised $3.2m since inception
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
In Search of Mary Shelley: The Girl Who Wrote Frankenstein
By Fiona Sampson
Profile
Fixtures (all times UAE)
Saturday
Brescia v Atalanta (6pm)
Genoa v Torino (9pm)
Fiorentina v Lecce (11.45pm)
Sunday
Juventus v Sassuolo (3.30pm)
Inter Milan v SPAL (6pm)
Lazio v Udinese (6pm)
Parma v AC Milan (6pm)
Napoli v Bologna (9pm)
Verona v AS Roma (11.45pm)
Monday
Cagliari v Sampdoria (11.45pm)
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets