What a banner December this has been for connoisseurs of the Whiny West, for people who relish collecting stories of Whiny West whining.
Ever since those World Cup envelopes opened in Zurich on December 2, any ear setting out to hear world-class whining could get a rare sating.
The whining in England over the 2018 World Cup going to Russia has been loud and voluminous and excellently farcical.
The whining in the United States over the 2022 World Cup going to Qatar has been muffled - the public still does not care all that much about football - but has checked in with some characteristic, nationalistic myopia.
Now, those of us who choose to roam the Earth long have known of the Whiny West in the form of tourists who whine because a certain destination did not sufficiently resemble home, which always has left a shouting, underlying question:
Why travel?
In this vein, the historically new capacity of tourists to write those little travel reviews on websites has been a profound blessing, for it provides some of the best reading going for avid Whiny West spectators.
In my all-time favourite sampling of whining from the Whiny West, an American tourist reviewed a hotel that sits high on a bluff upon the Greek island of Mykonos.
No doubt aware of the outdoor dining area and the hot morning coffee and the merry rabbits skipping in the yard and the sweeping view to the Aegean Sea so jaw-dropping that you could think yourself departed from regular old Earth, the reviewer moaned still.
The hotel, agreeably priced and unsurprisingly threadbare, offered - oh, get this - only one kind of cereal on the breakfast buffet.
Let us pause for a moment of awe at that sentiment in that setting, while mulling the mystery of why Canadians have not annexed the whininess of the Whiny West, thus do not deserve a lumping-in here. And add that while French tourists might well be whiny abroad, most of us cannot understand them, diminishing the brunt.
With Russia 2018, the pinnacle might be the implied idea that because you get to have breakfast with a thoroughly delightful prince you ought to vote a certain way.
In addition to being high-school absurd, this overlooks the existence of that very real brigade of Harry-over-William enthusiasts, many of whom occupy our families and friend groups.
Further mirth comes with the post-decision outrage over the notion that Fifa might come with some sort of baggage suggestion some sort of evidence of some sort of corruption. Who knew?
And with Qatar 2022, the mild whining has featured typical snobbery, including proud ignorance of Qatar's whereabouts from we Americans whose culture often doubles as an echo chamber of self-congratulation. This alone could make a rational person hop in the streets of Doha.
Yet the height of the whining would have to be this enduring question about alcohol, and whether the planet can continue rotating on its axis if fans will be unable to consume it as they would in Europe or the Americas.
Surely there are valid concerns about Qatar 2022. Surely, as noted by the ever-astute Grahame L Jones inthe Los Angeles Times, it is dubious that after the bids and the decision, now we yammer about a World Cup in January.
Surely, this good concept of moving some matches around the Gulf region should have come up more prominently during the bid process.
Surely, the valid concerns do not include alcohol. Here is a humble suggestion from a non-teetotaler who grew up in a culture that values alcohol: Would it kill you or maim your innards to take a month off? Four measly weeks? Jeez.
In fact, view it as an adventure, an experiment.
See it as a chance to acquaint with a different culture and to get a feeling for its precepts, then go back home to your accustomed life. Broaden thyself.
The football itself might even look as new. I know an accountant in London who underwent a thoughtful experiment once.
For one night, he eschewed his usual pre-match pub, and as he watched the match he had the sense that to him, given his background, the match did not look right.
A bunch of us listeners guffawed at that, but does that mean there cannot be one World Cup that does not look "right" in somebody's sense? Is that really such an effective argument as the world rushes to frontier after so many years of (clearly) entitled Western hegemony?
Is that a reason to go have some big conniption when set against the positive forces of using the renowned bridge of sport to reach new regions?
If so, how whiny.
[ cculpepper@thenational.ae ]
SPEC SHEET: APPLE IPHONE 15 PRO MAX
Display: 6.7" Super Retina XDR OLED, 2796 x 1290, 460ppi, 120Hz, 2000 nits max, HDR, True Tone, P3, always-on
Processor: A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 6-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Memory: 8GB
Capacity: 256/512GB / 1TB
Platform: iOS 17
Main camera: Triple: 48MP main (f/1.78) + 12MP ultra-wide (f/2.2) + 12MP 5x telephoto (f/2.8); 5x optical zoom in, 2x optical zoom out; 10x optical zoom range, digital zoom up to 25x; Photonic Engine, Deep Fusion, Smart HDR 4, Portrait Lighting
Main camera video: 4K @ 24/25/30/60fps, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps, HD @ 30fps, slo-mo @ 120/240fps, ProRes (4K) @ 60fps; night, time lapse, cinematic, action modes; Dolby Vision, 4K HDR
Front camera: 12MP TrueDepth (f/1.9), Photonic Engine, Deep Fusion, Smart HDR 4, Portrait Lighting; Animoji, Memoji
Front camera video: 4K @ 24/25/30/60fps, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps, slo-mo @ 120/240fps, ProRes (4K) @ 30fps; night, time lapse, cinematic, action modes; Dolby Vision, 4K HDR
Battery: 4441mAh, up to 29h video, 25h streaming video, 95h audio; fast charge to 50% in 30min (with at least 20W adaptor); MagSafe, Qi wireless charging
Connectivity: Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 5.3, NFC (Apple Pay), second-generation Ultra Wideband chip
Biometrics: Face ID
I/O: USB-C
Durability: IP68, water-resistant up to 6m up to 30min; dust/splash-resistant
Cards: Dual eSIM / eSIM + eSIM (US models use eSIMs only)
Colours: Black titanium, blue titanium, natural titanium, white titanium
In the box: iPhone 15 Pro Max, USB-C-to-USB-C woven cable, one Apple sticker
Price: Dh5,099 / Dh5,949 / Dh6,799
FA CUP FINAL
Chelsea 1
Hazard (22' pen)
Manchester United 0
Man of the match: Eden Hazard (Chelsea)
Paris Can Wait
Dir: Eleanor Coppola
Starring: Alec Baldwin, Diane Lane, Arnaud Viard
Two stars
THE BIO
Bio Box
Role Model: Sheikh Zayed, God bless his soul
Favorite book: Zayed Biography of the leader
Favorite quote: To be or not to be, that is the question, from William Shakespeare's Hamlet
Favorite food: seafood
Favorite place to travel: Lebanon
Favorite movie: Braveheart
Hot Seat
Director: James Cullen Bressack
Stars: Mel Gibson, Kevin Dillon, Shannen Doherty, Sam Asghari
Rating: 1/5
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, first leg
Liverpool v Roma
When: April 24, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Anfield, Liverpool
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 2, Stadio Olimpico, Rome
Why it pays to compare
A comparison of sending Dh20,000 from the UAE using two different routes at the same time - the first direct from a UAE bank to a bank in Germany, and the second from the same UAE bank via an online platform to Germany - found key differences in cost and speed. The transfers were both initiated on January 30.
Route 1: bank transfer
The UAE bank charged Dh152.25 for the Dh20,000 transfer. On top of that, their exchange rate margin added a difference of around Dh415, compared with the mid-market rate.
Total cost: Dh567.25 - around 2.9 per cent of the total amount
Total received: €4,670.30
Route 2: online platform
The UAE bank’s charge for sending Dh20,000 to a UK dirham-denominated account was Dh2.10. The exchange rate margin cost was Dh60, plus a Dh12 fee.
Total cost: Dh74.10, around 0.4 per cent of the transaction
Total received: €4,756
The UAE bank transfer was far quicker – around two to three working days, while the online platform took around four to five days, but was considerably cheaper. In the online platform transfer, the funds were also exposed to currency risk during the period it took for them to arrive.
Heavily-sugared soft drinks slip through the tax net
Some popular drinks with high levels of sugar and caffeine have slipped through the fizz drink tax loophole, as they are not carbonated or classed as an energy drink.
Arizona Iced Tea with lemon is one of those beverages, with one 240 millilitre serving offering up 23 grams of sugar - about six teaspoons.
A 680ml can of Arizona Iced Tea costs just Dh6.
Most sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, five teaspoons of sugar in a 500ml bottle.
When is VAR used?
• Goals
• Penalty decisions
• Direct red-card incidents
• Mistaken identity
Abu Dhabi GP Saturday schedule
12.30pm GP3 race (18 laps)
2pm Formula One final practice
5pm Formula One qualifying
6.40pm Formula 2 race (31 laps)
TO CATCH A KILLER
Director: Damian Szifron
Stars: Shailene Woodley, Ben Mendelsohn, Ralph Ineson
Rating: 2/5
Ahmed Raza
UAE cricket captain
Age: 31
Born: Sharjah
Role: Left-arm spinner
One-day internationals: 31 matches, 35 wickets, average 31.4, economy rate 3.95
T20 internationals: 41 matches, 29 wickets, average 30.3, economy rate 6.28
RESULT
Copa del Rey, semi-final second leg
Real Madrid 0
Barcelona 3 (Suarez (50', 73' pen), Varane (69' OG)