'Life is short. Get a divorce." That advertisement by a Chicago-based law firm is best understood in the context of US divorce statistics. According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 per cent of US couples divorce.
The latest issue of the United Nations Demographic Yearbook ranks the US among the 10 countries with the highest divorce rates. However, it's the old Soviet bloc nations, led by Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, where divorce is most common.
Thankfully, Arabian Peninsula nations are in a different league, although divorce is not as unusual as it once was. UN data from 2007 put Kuwait's divorce rate at 37 per cent, the highest in the Gulf, followed by Qatar with 34 per cent.
Data on Bahrain and Kuwait, reported by Bahrain's Central Informatics Organisation also in 2007, suggest divorce rates as high as 50 per cent among people aged between 20 and 29. There is also a trend among younger couples to divorce fairly soon after marriage.
In the UAE, trends differ among the emirates. In one study, Abu Dhabi had the highest divorce rate at 33 per cent, while Umm Al Qaiwain's rate was just 3 per cent. A statistical blip? A consequence of less urbanisation? Or do the shabab Quwania, as they are known, hold the secret to marital longevity?
Not only are Gulf divorce rates generally high, they're also rising. The UN data suggest an upwards trend between 1995 and 2007. So, why here, and why now?
One common explanation is the ease with which divorce can be initiated. For males, it involves a triple declaration of the word "taliq", which means to untie a knot, but equates to "I divorce you".
Technology has further facilitated this unhappy process, giving birth to the digital divorce. Reports from Saudi Arabia, and further afield, cite husbands divorcing wives by text messages.
Slightly lower tech is the report of a husband who, having seen his wife accept a phone number from a stranger at the mall, pronounced divorce over the mall's loudspeaker system. But repeating "talaq" is not new; for men, divorce has always been fairly easy to initiate. This can't be a sufficient explanation for the rising divorce rate.
A less palatable, but more feasible, explanation is the higher level of education, and greater employment opportunities available to Gulf women in recent decades. These factors are almost certainly contributing to changing patterns of marriage and divorce.
Census data from 2007 reported by Kuwait's ministry of planning demonstrate a clear relationship between divorce rates and female educational status. Marriages where wives had university degrees experienced higher divorce rates (47 per cent), than those where wives had only primary education (1 per cent).
This has to be a key area for future social research across the Gulf states. What are the specific factors at play, and how best to mitigate them?
A final explanation for higher divorce rates is globalisation. In their book The Narcissism Epidemic, psychologists Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell argue that the global culture of modernity has become increasingly individualistic, and teaches people not to compromise. This me-first, self-centred attitude is particularly bad for relationships.
With global media, these values are promoted everywhere. We read the same books, watch the same TV shows and see the same advertisements. Advertising is particularly toxic, with its carefully crafted, delusion-promoting messages: "because you're worth it", "don't settle for second best" or "now you can have it all".
Such messages promote selfishness, vanity and a delusional sense of entitlement. There has been an increase in these narcissistic traits in the industrialised West, where marriages have become increasingly short lived.
Paradoxically, just as we're investing less time in marriage, we're also spending more money on lavish weddings. Factoring in inflation, the average cost of a wedding in the US rose by 18 per cent between 1990 and 2006. As the rate of divorce has risen across the Gulf, I suspect, so too has the average wedding cost.
Is this excessive matrimonial showboating a manifestation of rising levels of entitlement, vanity and selfishness? Address these dark traits, and we will begin to witness a reversal in the global divorce trend.
Justin Thomas is an assistant psychology professor at Zayed University in Abu Dhabi
On Twitter: jaytee156
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder MHEV
Power: 360bhp
Torque: 500Nm
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Price: from Dh282,870
On sale: now
Match info
Australia 580
Pakistan 240 and 335
Result: Australia win by an innings and five runs
BLACKBERRY
Director: Matt Johnson
Stars: Jay Baruchel, Glenn Howerton, Matt Johnson
Rating: 4/5
Financial considerations before buying a property
Buyers should try to pay as much in cash as possible for a property, limiting the mortgage value to as little as they can afford. This means they not only pay less in interest but their monthly costs are also reduced. Ideally, the monthly mortgage payment should not exceed 20 per cent of the purchaser’s total household income, says Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching.
“If it’s a rental property, plan for the property to have periods when it does not have a tenant. Ensure you have enough cash set aside to pay the mortgage and other costs during these periods, ideally at least six months,” she says.
Also, shop around for the best mortgage interest rate. Understand the terms and conditions, especially what happens after any introductory periods, Ms Glynn adds.
Using a good mortgage broker is worth the investment to obtain the best rate available for a buyer’s needs and circumstances. A good mortgage broker will help the buyer understand the terms and conditions of the mortgage and make the purchasing process efficient and easier.
MATCH INFO
Juventus 1 (Dybala 45')
Lazio 3 (Alberto 16', Lulic 73', Cataldi 90+4')
Red card: Rodrigo Bentancur (Juventus)
THE BIO
Born: Mukalla, Yemen, 1979
Education: UAE University, Al Ain
Family: Married with two daughters: Asayel, 7, and Sara, 6
Favourite piece of music: Horse Dance by Naseer Shamma
Favourite book: Science and geology
Favourite place to travel to: Washington DC
Best advice you’ve ever been given: If you have a dream, you have to believe it, then you will see it.
if you go
The flights Fly Dubai, Air Arabia, Emirates, Etihad, and Royal Jordanian all offer direct, three-and-a-half-hour flights from the UAE to the Jordanian capital Amman. Alternatively, from June Fly Dubai will offer a new direct service from Dubai to Aqaba in the south of the country. See the airlines’ respective sites for varying prices or search on reliable price-comparison site Skyscanner.
The trip
Jamie Lafferty was a guest of the Jordan Tourist Board. For more information on adventure tourism in Jordan see Visit Jordan. A number of new and established tour companies offer the chance to go caving, rock-climbing, canyoning, and mountaineering in Jordan. Prices vary depending on how many activities you want to do and how many days you plan to stay in the country. Among the leaders are Terhaal, who offer a two-day canyoning trip from Dh845 per person. If you really want to push your limits, contact the Stronger Team. For a more trek-focused trip, KE Adventure offers an eight-day trip from Dh5,300 per person.
Top tips
Create and maintain a strong bond between yourself and your child, through sensitivity, responsiveness, touch, talk and play. “The bond you have with your kids is the blueprint for the relationships they will have later on in life,” says Dr Sarah Rasmi, a psychologist.
Set a good example. Practise what you preach, so if you want to raise kind children, they need to see you being kind and hear you explaining to them what kindness is. So, “narrate your behaviour”.
Praise the positive rather than focusing on the negative. Catch them when they’re being good and acknowledge it.
Show empathy towards your child’s needs as well as your own. Take care of yourself so that you can be calm, loving and respectful, rather than angry and frustrated.
Be open to communication, goal-setting and problem-solving, says Dr Thoraiya Kanafani. “It is important to recognise that there is a fine line between positive parenting and becoming parents who overanalyse their children and provide more emotional context than what is in the child’s emotional development to understand.”
US federal gun reform since Sandy Hook
- April 17, 2013: A bipartisan-drafted bill to expand background checks and ban assault weapons fails in the Senate.
- July 2015: Bill to require background checks for all gun sales is introduced in House of Representatives. It is not brought to a vote.
- June 12, 2016: Orlando shooting. Barack Obama calls on Congress to renew law prohibiting sale of assault-style weapons and high-capacity magazines.
- October 1, 2017: Las Vegas shooting. US lawmakers call for banning bump-fire stocks, and some renew call for assault weapons ban.
- February 14, 2018: Seventeen pupils are killed and 17 are wounded during a mass shooting in Parkland, Florida.
- December 18, 2018: Donald Trump announces a ban on bump-fire stocks.
- August 2019: US House passes law expanding background checks. It is not brought to a vote in the Senate.
- April 11, 2022: Joe Biden announces measures to crack down on hard-to-trace 'ghost guns'.
- May 24, 2022: Nineteen children and two teachers are killed at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas.
- June 25, 2022: Joe Biden signs into law the first federal gun-control bill in decades.
The Specs
Engine 3.8-litre, twin-turbo V8
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 582bhp (542bhp in GTS model)
Torque: 730Nm
Price: Dh649,000 (Dh549,000 for GTS)
What is a robo-adviser?
Robo-advisers use an online sign-up process to gauge an investor’s risk tolerance by feeding information such as their age, income, saving goals and investment history into an algorithm, which then assigns them an investment portfolio, ranging from more conservative to higher risk ones.
These portfolios are made up of exchange traded funds (ETFs) with exposure to indices such as US and global equities, fixed-income products like bonds, though exposure to real estate, commodity ETFs or gold is also possible.
Investing in ETFs allows robo-advisers to offer fees far lower than traditional investments, such as actively managed mutual funds bought through a bank or broker. Investors can buy ETFs directly via a brokerage, but with robo-advisers they benefit from investment portfolios matched to their risk tolerance as well as being user friendly.
Many robo-advisers charge what are called wrap fees, meaning there are no additional fees such as subscription or withdrawal fees, success fees or fees for rebalancing.
SPECS
Engine: Two-litre four-cylinder turbo
Power: 235hp
Torque: 350Nm
Transmission: Nine-speed automatic
Price: From Dh167,500 ($45,000)
On sale: Now
PROFILE OF STARZPLAY
Date started: 2014
Founders: Maaz Sheikh, Danny Bates
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment/Streaming Video On Demand
Number of employees: 125
Investors/Investment amount: $125 million. Major investors include Starz/Lionsgate, State Street, SEQ and Delta Partners
Bio
Age: 25
Town: Al Diqdaqah – Ras Al Khaimah
Education: Bachelors degree in mechanical engineering
Favourite colour: White
Favourite place in the UAE: Downtown Dubai
Favourite book: A Life in Administration by Ghazi Al Gosaibi.
First owned baking book: How to Be a Domestic Goddess by Nigella Lawson.
Company profile
Company name: Fasset
Started: 2019
Founders: Mohammad Raafi Hossain, Daniel Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $2.45 million
Current number of staff: 86
Investment stage: Pre-series B
Investors: Investcorp, Liberty City Ventures, Fatima Gobi Ventures, Primal Capital, Wealthwell Ventures, FHS Capital, VN2 Capital, local family offices
Sri Lanka v England
First Test, at Galle
England won by 211
Second Test, at Kandy
England won by 57 runs
Third Test, at Colombo
From Nov 23-27
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Director: Peyton Reed
Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas
Three stars
Gully Boy
Director: Zoya Akhtar
Producer: Excel Entertainment & Tiger Baby
Cast: Ranveer Singh, Alia Bhatt, Kalki Koechlin, Siddhant Chaturvedi
Rating: 4/5 stars
The five pillars of Islam
Lewis Hamilton in 2018
Australia 2nd; Bahrain 3rd; China 4th; Azerbaijan 1st; Spain 1st; Monaco 3rd; Canada 5th; France 1st; Austria DNF; Britain 2nd; Germany 1st; Hungary 1st; Belgium 2nd; Italy 1st; Singapore 1st; Russia 1st; Japan 1st; United States 3rd; Mexico 4th
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin
Director: Shawn Levy
Rating: 3/5