BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND // Edgbaston was given an unexpected boost as it staged a record attempt for the most people in fancy dress at a sports venue in the UK yesterday, when 11 men dressed in cricket whites pretended to be the Indian cricket team.
Their collective likeness to the world champion players was uncanny, but they were soon found out once the cricket started. They were clearly impostors.
It was a marker of how miserable summer it has been for India that they did not even come close to winning that competition, either.
A group of men dressed as hawks – Hawk-Eye, get it? – did instead.
Plus the blokes dressed as Indian cricketers actually turned out to be the real people, apparently. Not that they played anything like them.
England made their highest Test score since 1930 in the one innings they needed to win this game.
By contrast, India failed to reach 300 in either innings, and they have yet to do so in six trips to the wicket in this series.
After this latest crushing victory, England are now 3-0 up in the four Test series, and have thus assumed India's place at the top of the world Test rankings having barely broken sweat.
Andrew Strauss, the captain, said his side are proud of their achievement, but insisted they are not satisfied yet.
"We want to win every Test series we play," said Strauss, whose team have now won eight Test series out of nine, with the other a drawn series in South Africa.
"Getting to No 1 rewards consistency over a long period of time, and that has not always been a strength of English cricket. We are very proud of what we have achieved."
If India had any kernel of consolation from their drubbing here, it was the return to form with the bat for MS Dhoni, their captain, who made half-centuries in both innings.
However, it did little to paper over the cracks in India's decorated batting line-up, which were again exposed expertly by fine swing bowling from James Anderson.
Anderson picked up the first four wickets to fall, and the haul had an impressive pedigree: Virender Sehwag, Gautam Gambhir, Rahul Dravid and VVS Laxman. After that, Dhoni's brief resistance was futile.
"We have not been up to the mark in the series so far," Dhoni said. "It is a very difficult one to explain.
"I think it was a standard example of where we were outplayed by another international side.
"Most of the sessions were won by them, if you break the five day games down into small sessions, and more often than not we were outplayed in both the bowling and the batting departments."
England's win here was so facile, sewn up in the middle of the afternoon yesterday, that many of their followers hardly knew how to take it. The roars of delight when each wicket fell seemed to be quickly muted by the supporters thinking: "Well, we should be pleased, but we are not going to get our money's worth here."
That has been the theme of the series. The fans paid a premium to see the two biggest prizefighters in the Test game, but they have been short-changed.
While one of the protagonists has proved to be the real deal, the other turned out to be a street urchin who did not fancy the scrap.
India tried their best to submit, but England's bowlers would not let up, and just continued the pummelling. Praveen Kumar, India's standout bowler of the series, could miss the final Test at The Oval later this week after being smashed on the thumb.
Dhoni was twice hit on the thumb, too, while Sreesanth crumpled after being hit in the stomach by Stuart Broad.
The injuries will be hurting, but the insults for India's abject display should cut far more.
pradley@thenational.ae
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- Cecelia Crocker was on board Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in 1987 when it crashed in Detroit, killing 154 people, including her parents and brother. The plane had hit a light pole on take off
- George Lamson Jr, from Minnesota, was on a Galaxy Airlines flight that crashed in Reno in 1985, killing 68 people. His entire seat was launched out of the plane
- Bahia Bakari, then 12, survived when a Yemenia Airways flight crashed near the Comoros in 2009, killing 152. She was found clinging to wreckage after floating in the ocean for 13 hours.
- Jim Polehinke was the co-pilot and sole survivor of a 2006 Comair flight that crashed in Lexington, Kentucky, killing 49.
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Key figures in the life of the fort
Sheikh Dhiyab bin Isa (ruled 1761-1793) Built Qasr Al Hosn as a watchtower to guard over the only freshwater well on Abu Dhabi island.
Sheikh Shakhbut bin Dhiyab (ruled 1793-1816) Expanded the tower into a small fort and transferred his ruling place of residence from Liwa Oasis to the fort on the island.
Sheikh Tahnoon bin Shakhbut (ruled 1818-1833) Expanded Qasr Al Hosn further as Abu Dhabi grew from a small village of palm huts to a town of more than 5,000 inhabitants.
Sheikh Khalifa bin Shakhbut (ruled 1833-1845) Repaired and fortified the fort.
Sheikh Saeed bin Tahnoon (ruled 1845-1855) Turned Qasr Al Hosn into a strong two-storied structure.
Sheikh Zayed bin Khalifa (ruled 1855-1909) Expanded Qasr Al Hosn further to reflect the emirate's increasing prominence.
Sheikh Shakhbut bin Sultan (ruled 1928-1966) Renovated and enlarged Qasr Al Hosn, adding a decorative arch and two new villas.
Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan (ruled 1966-2004) Moved the royal residence to Al Manhal palace and kept his diwan at Qasr Al Hosn.
Sources: Jayanti Maitra, www.adach.ae
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