Are we all sufficiently sick of the term “new normal” yet?
Even before the first ball has been bowled in the return of international cricket season, it is grating.
Can we just get back to a little bit of just normal normal, please?
A Ben Stokes snarl. A Shannon Gabriel no ball. Joe Denly digging in. Mark Wood’s imaginary horse. The Decision Review System.
Perhaps not quite yet. After all, there will be plenty of intrigue when two members of cricket's old establishment meet again as its oldest format returns on Wednesday, under a variety of modified playing conditions.
These are a few of the things to look out for when England and West Indies break ground on biosecure international cricket.
No celebrations
Jim Laker celebrated taking 19 wickets in one Ashes Test by hitching up his trousers and walking off, giving into vanity only to doff his cap to the crowd.
Cricketers have become much more tactile in the time since, but will be forced back in time to a socially distant old normal for the time being.
A hat trick? A double century? All will have to be toasted with nothing more giddy than an elbow or foot bump, followed perhaps by three cheers and a rendition of For He's a Jolly Good Fellow.
Headbands
Given that barbers were, in fact, given the green light to return to business in the recent days in the UK, the players might actually turn up on Wednesday with some freshly shorn locks.
Or they might stick with what they have got used to in recent times.
Each of Stuart Broad, James Anderson and Chris Woakes, among others, have had their hair trussed up in headbands in the lead-up to the series.
Like being in Dubai
It is very possible the behind-closed-doors Test matches in the UK this summer might have more people at them than many of the open Test matches that have been in Dubai down the years.
England remains the one country where – under normal circumstances – Test matches are well attended.
So, while we in the UAE might be used to being able to hear ourselves think at Tests, the players themselves could end up feeling a little lonely.
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Players who will shape cricket on its return
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Jofra Archer (England). Entered lockdown a damaged soul, nursing an elbow injury that heaped much criticism on England for the way he had been handled. Now cricket is on its way back, and so is he, announcing he was fully healed with the aid of a perky Fresh Prince of Belair gif. AFP -
James Anderson (England). The accepted theory seems to be the extended break caused by the pandemic might serve to extend the careers of those who are near to retirement. It is undeniable the time away will have aided Anderson’s recovery from the niggles that have blighted the past year. PA -
Dom Sibley (England). They do not paint pictures on the scoreboard. Which is handy for Sibley, whose method with the bat in not necessarily one for the aesthetes. But few will care about that, if he can continue the effective returns he had on tour in South Africa, where he was a match-winner for England. Getty -
Dan Lawrence (England). There has been a revolving door for England’s middle-order for some time now. Might Lawrence be the next man in? He is in the 30-man training squad, so there is a chance. If he does make the cut, it will be fun to watch. The Essex batsman has more flair than the ’70s. Pawan Singh / The National -
Olly Stone (England). Mark Wood bowled at 96mph against West Indies when England toured there last. Jofra Archer clocked 96.1mph against Steve Smith in last year’s Ashes. Add a fully-fit Stone into the mix, and England could have one of the fastest pace-bowling trios in the game’s history. AFP -
Naseem Shah (Pakistan). There are few more exciting talents in the world game at present than this kid. Just 17, but he is one for now – not just the future. The youngest bowler to take an international hat-trick, and he also showed poise beyond his years in this year's Pakistan Super League. AFP -
Fawad Alam (Pakistan). One of cricket’s great mysteries is how the left-handed batsman managed to go throughout all of the 2010s without playing a Test, despite remarkable run-gathering in first-class cricket. He averages 56.84 in the first-class game, but played the last of his three Tests in 2009. Getty -
Haris Rauf (Pakistan). Recently floated the idea he would be happy to give Test cricket a go. And why not? He has taken to everything else thrown at him so well since being plucked from tape-ball cricket by PSL side Lahore Qalandars 18 months ago. Still in Pakistan, though, after testing positive for Covid-19. Getty -
Shan Masood (Pakistan). Had a nightmare the last time he toured the UK, with Anderson in particular casting a spell from which Masood was unable to extricate himself. But he is heading back to England – where he went to school and university – as arguably international cricket’s most improved player. Getty -
Babar Azam (Pakistan). Conversations about the best batsmen in the game often don’t tend to extend far past Kohli, Steve Smith, Kane Williamson and Joe Root. Why Azam is so often the forgotten man in that debate is difficult to ascertain, but a strong summer in England will force the issue. AFP -
Rahkeem Cornwall (West Indies): Handpicked by Virat Kohli to bowl at the touring Indians in the Caribbean, after he had dismissed Kohli, Cheteshwar Pujara and Ajinkya Rahane in a tour match four years ago. Now he has graduated to the full West Indies team, as an off-spinner capable of prodigious turn. AFP -
Alzarri Joseph (West Indies). Still a relatively unknown quantity – despite his remarkable IPL debut last year when he took six for 12 – and he is only too happy to fly under the radar. “I could use it as an advantage - I know my abilities and they might not know,” the 23-year-old fast-bowler said. PA -
Kraigg Brathwaite (West Indies). The Barbadian opener has had two great triumphs in Tests. First, in Sharjah in 2016, when he went undefeated in both innings as West Indies beat Pakistan. Then against England at Headingley the following summer when he made 134 and 95 to set up a win for the ages. Getty -
Shai Hope (West Indies). Much like Brathwaite, Hope’s Test average of 27 chronically belies his talent – yet he, too, had a match of dreams last time on tour in England. He made a century in each innings of the Leeds Test match, which set him on the way to a Wisden Cricketer of the Year award. AFP -
John Campbell (West Indies). Yet to make a hundred so far in a Test career that is just six matches old, but he already has a reputation as an entertainer in the best traditions of Caribbean openers. Likes European batting conditions, too, if his record-breaking ODI opening stand with Shai Hope in Dublin last year is anything to go by. Getty
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'Sanitised' swing
Using saliva to polish the ball, as has been widely documented, will be prohibited.
ICC medical guidelines, though, do state that it is highly unlikely that the virus can be transmitted through sweat.
So players can use that, “whilst recommending that enhanced hygiene measures are implemented on and around the playing field”.
That will include hand-sanitiser outlets around the field. Any value in a surreptitious rub of that on the shiny side to get the ball hooping?
Actual cricket
International cricket’s first post-Covid 19 series pits the fourth-ranked Test side, England, against West Indies, who are eighth. So not exactly box-office stuff, on the face of it.
There is plenty of reason for optimism, though. England felt like they turned a corner by winning in South Africa in the winter, while they also have a score to settle with their guests, after losing in the Caribbean last time out.
All-round battle
The world’s best allrounder is? Jason Holder, actually, according to the ICC Test rankings for players.
Stokes rarely needs any additional incentive to get him into the mood for competition, but the battle between the opposing captains in the first Test should provide a neat little subplot.
Pace aces
Batsmen might be the worse off for the lack of proper match practice since lockdown.
Never mind the quality of the bowling attacks they will be faced with this summer – what about the speed of them?
Mark Wood, Jofra Archer, Olly Stone, Kemar Roach, Gabriel, Alzarri Joseph, Oshane Thomas, Naseem Shah, Haris Rauf and Mohammed Hasnain could all see game time this summer.
Pity the batsmen.
