I'm in a treatment room at the just-opened Six Senses Destination Spa on Naka Yai, an island ten minutes by speedboat from Phuket, Thailand, gazing deep into my own eyes. Magnified on a computer screen, irises are revealed to be so intriguingly marked and fissured that it's like examining a landscape. As I stare, the young Australian iridologist, Sally, points to the screen, explaining what each fissure, dot and blurry edging signifies. "Each part of the iris correlates to a part of the body, so you can tell such a lot about how someone's functioning from their eyes," she says. "Orange pigmentation is showing in your pancreas area, indicating an imbalance in blood glucose levels which may result in sugar cravings. These circular 'nerve rings' within the iris indicate stress, muscle tension and anxiety. The darkening of the area next to the pupil in your stomach zone also indicates low acidity of the stomach, so your metabolism of fats and proteins is impaired." This is all true: I feel naked.
Half an hour later, I leave with a print-out of my eyes and a report summarising Sally's findings and suggestions about what steps and supplements I should take to mitigate the various conditions revealed. I have lunch in the all-vegetarian restaurant by the sea, where the salads all come from the spa's own gardens. And a few hours after that - time I spend partly doing yoga in the open-air pavilion, partly lolling on the day-bed by the pool at my villa, reading through the reports on myself that I'm amassing - and I am walking back into the spa village for a session with the hypnotherapist. By now, it's dark. Candles flicker in the darkness and there is the smell of frangipani in the air as I push open the door to a dimly-lit therapy room.
"What do you want to get rid of?" asks Orapin, a middle-aged Thai woman, pulling her chair close to mine. My unappealing habit of snapping back shrilly when I'm exasperated, I tell her. I hate the way my voice rises, so sharp and scathing and scolding, but I just can't seem to stop the habit. Orapin starts to talk about my childhood, and soon I am lying on her heated therapy bed, tears pricking my eyes.
"Imagine yourself at home sitting wherever you sit to watch TV," she says, her speech fast but soothing. "On the screen, see yourself 'snapping shrilly', as you say. Then, in the lower right-hand corner of the screen, see a small picture of how you would like to respond in one of those stressful situations. Now see the big picture fly off the screen and disappear. Now see the small picture grow bigger until it fills the screen. Hold that picture in your mind. That is how you are going to be in future."
I pad serene and barefoot back to my villa, Orapin's list of recommended mental exercises in hand, then walk along the beach for dinner by candlelight in the open-air raw food restaurant. The all-raw brownie to finish is unbelievable. How on earth do they make it? "Secret!" smiles the young chef, with a bow. Back in my villa, I run a bath in the outdoor tub, and lie in the darkness practicing the Buteyko shallow-breathing method I've been learning from another therapist here. Developed by a Russian scientist in the 1970s, apparently it has the almost miraculous effect in alleviating asthma.
And so the days go. This spa is from the people who kickstarted the whole luxury spa boom with the opening of Soneva Fushi in the Maldives, a decade ago. It's not like other detox spas. It's better. You can have all the usual spa treatments, including sublime massages, in the large spa village, which has areas devoted to Chinese, Thai, Indian and Indonesian treatments. You can lose weight. They do a strict detox regimen here for anyone who wants it - six juices a day, plus a clear broth at night, for six days, which will knock several kilos off anyone - and you can have colonics, too. Simply eating the daily spa cuisine will see kilos start to drop off. The resident staff manager, Melida, who has been here eight months, since well before the launch, has already lost 14 kilos doing just that. As I was only there for four days, I opted for the basic purification programme, but could also have tried a flower essence consultation, meditation, ta'i chi, Pilates, kinesis workouts, crystal healing, craniosacral therapy, acupuncture, shiatsu massage and chakra balancing.
But the best thing is how you can indulge in a serious me-me-me fest, spending your days going from one cutting-edge specialist therapist to another. Some are on the staff, such as the naturopath everyone sees at the beginning of their stay who can also carry out live blood analysis, and the head of the exercise programme, a blonde, godlike figure who once ran across the Gobi desert. Some come for a week or two each month - you can find out exactly when on the spa's website. All, however, are seriously good and, mindful that a lot of work is being condensed into just a week or two, usefully direct. Keep your mouth closed when you're not talking or eating, I'm told (that's Jac, the Buteyko breathing man). Lift your knees rather than walking straight-legged (the yoga master). Relax, don't be perfect, be yourself (the hypnotherapist). Stop eating so much sugar (that's my eyes telling all).
In the last few years, living in front of a computer, drinking endless cups of tea and coffee accompanied by snippets of chocolate, never quite getting around to the brisk daily 30-minute walk I resolve to do every Jan 1, and perpetually keen to lose half a stone, I have tried four or five detox programmes. All except this one have concentrated solely on weight loss and diet, using massage, Ayurvedic treatments or hydrotherapy to while away the hours left empty when meals shrink. They've all worked - in the short term. Because the regimen has been so unlike my normal life, that half-stone has inched back several times. The best weight-loss measure was actually moving: in the week during which I packed up one house and moved to another while my husband was "unavoidably" in the Caribbean, I lost six pounds without even noticing that I was barely eating.
It's been only six weeks since I went to Six Senses, but what I tried there has stayed with me. Startlingly, the hypnotherapy really seems to have worked. Best of all, I have been eating lots more raw vegetables and I know that it is doing me good: I can see it in my skin.
Rooms at the 61 villas at Six Senses Destination Spa Phuket (www.sixsenses.com; 0066 76 381 010) cost from $815 (Dh2,900) per night, including all meals and two daily spa treatments.
* Adriaane Pielou
The Shanti Ananda Maurice lies on the southernmost tip of the island of Mauritius. A barely visible coral reef on which the blue-green waters of the Indian Ocean gently crash are all that stands between the visitor and the Antarctic. More years ago than I care to remember, I spent an idyllic three months here as a lucky university student who had persuaded her professor to approve a research project for a dissertation on the culture of poverty. Then, I was young, slim and full of energy. This time, I am middle aged, overweight and tired - and over-indulgence, not poverty, has brought me here (although the hotel prices can threaten near-poverty). Thankfully, however, although I can't turn back the clock, I can address the issues.
Ayurveda is all about detoxification, but it is more than that. For those who take it seriously, it is a full cleansing of the body, mind and spirit, and should be undertaken annually. The full-on detox, panchakarma, is a thorough cleansing and rejuvenation programme which includes induced vomiting and enemas, and is best carried during the monsoon period when the cool, moist, dust-free weather opens up the pores and makes the body receptive to the therapeutic effect of herbal oils. But there are lighter versions which are enjoyable and produce wonderful results - increased vitality, weight loss and a creamy smooth complexion being the most rewarding. Here, the whole spectrum is on offer, but I chose to do a mini panchakarma - which included an enema but not vomiting - with add-ons such as massage.
The traditional scientific system of holistic medicine, Ayurveda is available all over Asia and increasingly elsewhere, but it is the seriousness of its philosophy combined with the five-star luxury that has given Ananda its status in the spa world; it is part medical, part pampering, part self-discovery. Ananda in the Himalayas, built around a maharaja's palace and overlooking the Ganges, is steeped in spirituality. Its sister hotel Shanti Ananda, which opened two years ago, is situated by the beach on an island more in tune with hedonism, and so offered a different experience. Old Ananda hands were faced with the temptation to skip the yoga classes, lie by the fabulous infinity pool, splash in the crystal clear waters of the lagoon, read airport novels and eat too well - and, you could ask, why not?
The trouble is when the holiday is over, that's it. With Ayurveda, the results should last for months - or if you continue to follow its principles, for a lifetime. Which is perhaps why there has been a significant shift in Shanti Ananda's emphasis this year. Despite being new, the resort has already undergone an expansion and embellishment of the spa area, re-opening last summer as the largest destination spa in the Indian Ocean. The commitment to Ayurveda is underlined by the employment of a second doctor, eight more Ayurvedic therapists and the building of treatment rooms specifically for panchakarma. Its signature restaurant, Da Maurizio, has been redesigned to provide holistic cuisine. Instead of gorging on international fare, the guests can now opt for menus customised to their own body type - kapha, pita or vata.
There are packages for every need - rejuvenation, stress management, detox, weight loss, fitness and anti-ageing. All start with a detailed consultation with the doctor. Basic to the philosophy is that every person must be treated as an individual, which means assessing consititutional type, diagnosing the cause of any imbalance and only then, treating it. First there are questions - lots of them. How is your sleep? Do you get angry easily? Do you nurse resentments? What is your favourite time of day? The taking of the pulse and testing nervous reactions follow. The doctor wears a stethoscope, but should you think that this is quasi medicine, ask him how long he has studied for - some have trained for a longer period of time than doctors of conventional medicine.
He then tells you what your predominant dosha is. Mine is the earth element, kapha - motherly and caring but with a tendency to be slow and sluggish. It is characterised as heavy, cold and soft, and is helped by a lighter diet of dry warm spicy foods. Vata is air and Pitta, fire. Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word derived from ayus, meaning life, and veda, meaning knowledge, and underpinning everything in its teaching is the belief that the body mind and soul are inextricably linked. To treat one you have to attend to all.
A few hours later a timetable is delivered to your room. The routine includes going to bed by 10pm, waking early and taking exercise before breakfast. Yoga, meditation, Vedanta and treatments punctuate the day. Detoxification is helped along by certain treatments including udvartarna, a body peeling massage to stimulate the metabolic rate, pizzichilli, a warm and very oily massage which is seen as pure luxury, and the treat climax to some of the more unpleasant panchakarma cleansing (but I found rather irritating), and abhyanga, the traditional "four hands" massage.
In between, there are the pleasures of the pool, the long sandy beach and a bedroom - or more specifically a bathroom and balcony - that I will always yearn for. However with a detox, it's all about results - and mine, thankfully, came later. With an increased metabolic rate (pulse rates are also measured at the end), I lost half a stone within two weeks of being home and for a while had as much energy as those golden days when I pretended to research poverty.
Shanti Ananda (www.shantiananda.com; 00230 603 7200) offers a detox package of seven nights for $8,060 (Dh29,600) for one, or $10,597 (Dh38,900) for two which includes all treatments. The daily tariff is $920 (Dh3,780) for a single room and $991 (Dh3,640) for a double room; and until Oct 15 2009, guests are offered seven nights for the price of five, or 10 nights for the price of seven. Emirates (www.emirates.com) operates a daily service to Mauritius from Dubai. Return tickets cost from $1,425 (Dh5,240) including tax.
* Sue Ryan
My car's satellite navigation ignores the turning to Grayshott in Surrey, England. Perhaps it disapproves of bootcamps. I sail past the turning without its bossy guidance and get hopelessly lost. I stop at a garage and a man putting air into his tyres is more amenable. I arrive late and stressed and not looking forward to a week of juice fasting. Grayshott used to come under the category of health farm - rather austere places where guests were fed on lettuce and warm water with lemon, and would sneak out later for surreptitious meals. But that was before health farms had facelifts and metamorphosed into spas with their focus more on beauty, pampering and relaxation. Spartan gave way to luxury and the word health farm disappeared from the lexicon.
Yet of all the establishments, Grayshott was the least inclined to submit, remaining serious and rather dowdy until it changed hands a couple of years ago. The designers came in to give it a makeover. They swept away the fustiness and brought in deep feather sofas, plasma screens and other creature comforts. However, they were wise enough to realise that its formidable reputation had been built up on the quality of its therapies and in today's time-starved society, they needed to offer a short, sharp, weight-loss fix. Step forward Amanda Hamilton. Hamilton has been running detox retreats for almost 10 years in Scotland and continental Europe to her own unique formula. She has also gained a wider following through her TV series - sold all over the world - Spa for Embarrassing Illnesses, in which sufferers with chronic digestive or skin conditions are seen being treated by her with stunning results.
And so the marriage this summer between the grand old lady of spas and the "queen of detox" has elicited great interest. You don't have to be ill to benefit, as she explains in her opening lecture - the body may not have an obvious problem, but it rarely functions as well as it can. For a body to function optimally it needs to absorb the nutrients and to do that it needs to get rid of old waste - and that means a good clear-out. Which is why I and my fellow detoxers are here on a Sunday night.
We have been instructed to follow a pre-cleanse diet of no meat, fish, dairy, caffeine, alcohol or wheat - all things which can be done at home - but the intensity of the detox over the next five days requires supervision. On arrival at Grayshott, we are given their vital energy detox massage. It is so relaxing that I fall asleep and thus miss out on the full enjoyment of it. Then a food intolerance test. Paula, Grayshott's own nutrionist, jabs my finger roughly 100 times with an electromagnetic pen which goes into the finger between the joint and the nail - it leaves a red indent but doesn't hurt or break the skin. It's supposed to measure the body's resistance to particular substances. Each jab produces a score; the higher the figure, the better I can tolerate that particular food. Anything in the 48-55 range is coloured green and is good; below 47, it is yellow and is bad. There are only two yellows - I am apparently intolerant to citrus fruits and cabbage and I am told to cut them out of my diet for about six to eight weeks. Mineral levels are also tested and I score normal on them all except magnesium, which is very low. Paula says it's because stress and work gobble up the reserves. The procedure was explained to me, but I couldn't quite get my head around the way it works.
My supper is set for 6.30pm in the conservatory, a full hour before the other guests come in to dine. The reason is that they want to isolate us so we don't get non-detox envy from the other guests. But they needn't have worried - I love my baked butternut squash with button onions, green beans, roasted pepper and tomato sauce and pudding of peach granite. For the next four days, there will be four juice meals a day and a sit-down "dinner" of raw salad with superfoods and warm soup. Hamilton's own formula supplements are provided at each juice meal.
The evening lecture is open to everyone and curiosity brings in other guests. Hamilton (creamy complexion, perfect figure) radiates health and the audience hangs on her every word. We all want to look like her. The detoxers look smug that they booked the right package. The daily regimen starts the next day with a drink of hot lemon at 7.30am and a morning walk through the golf course and across the gorse parkland. Breakfast is juice to which we add a spoonful of ground psyllium husk. It makes the juice taste lousy but fools the stomach into thinking its full, although that is not its main purpose. Hamilton maintains that the colon gathers "plaque" and the husks help to remove it via enemas. The daily enemas are not something to discuss on these pages but they are central to her detox programme. One of the reasons to just drink juice is so that the body can get rid of old waste. The health of the colon determines the health of the person and if that can function well then so too will the rest of the body.
Our time is taken up with yoga or Pilates, treatments, educational lectures and juices and as the days move on, the kilos begin to fall off. Soberingly, we know how many kilos need to fall off - one of the tests is the body composition analysis. You stand on a machine with your arms stretched out and minutes later a form chunters out of the printer revealing how your weight is distributed - right arm, right leg, trunk and so on. Also measured is the fluid in the tissues and organs, and what proportion of the body is muscle and and what is fat. It makes grim reading for us all. My legs are balanced and normal but I have too much fluid in my right arm and too much fat round my middle - but Raja, the fitness director announces that I am not clinically obese. That, I suppose, is something to be grateful for.
Grayshott Spa (www.grayshottspa.com; 0044 1428 602 071) offers three programmes in 2009, on Jan 25, April 26 and Sept 27. Prices start from $3,650 (Dh13,410) per person for five nights and include: reflexology, a micronized marine algae body wrap,lymphatic stimulation, food intolerance screening, vitamin and mineral analysis, hydrotherapy, a marine mineral bath; and, one session of each of the following: yoga, ta'i chi and Pilates. Etihad (www.etihadairways.com) flies daily to London Heathrow - the transfer to Grayshott takes about one hour. Return flights from Abu Dhabi to London cost from $560 (Dh 2,070).
* Sue Ryan