Stark minimalism makes me want to rebel. There’s something about perfect Calvin Klein white smug summer dresses, Philippe Starck island kitchens or a (shudder) white leather sofa. Just looking at them makes me want to let loose with a packet of coloured felt-tips or a steaming bowl of spaghetti Bolognese – a good old splat here and a splat there, just for satisfaction’s sake.
Admittedly, like most things that make us sneer, we’re probably a little jealous. Surely, I live a life too hectic with important things to cope with such austerity – a life full of frantic deadlines, forgotten appointments, fabrics from photo shoots spilling from my car, paints and easels stuffed in cupboards, biros without the lids – that sort of thing.
Only a certain type of person can cope with all that perfectionism. We have all seen them; all rolled our eyes at them. The type whose children don’t do backward rolls down grassy hills at the family picnic, that have all the right DVDs in the right boxes, those that hold family meetings to orchestrate the coming week’s activities, never miss yearly check-ups, sew on a missing button on the eve of its departure – that sort of thing. The type, that, well, function at a higher level than the rest of us.
For those of you that identify with all that scrupulous exactness, give yourselves a self-satisfied pat on the back. You win (I say through gritted teeth). For those in the other camp, fear not. You’re probably more creative and exciting anyway.
Despite the basic human divide, perfectionism is the defining look this coming spring. Nothing superfluous, nothing over the top, nothing in any way in the crazy with a “K” camp (yes, that’s for you, boys with the coloured jeans).
The truth is, who doesn’t want to sort things out? To get rid of all the silly stuff – the bows, the lace, the tulle, the ruffles. A cluttered self equates to a cluttered mind, so they say.
So, let’s at least try to fake it, shall we? To start with, clean-cut neutrals only work well on a certain type. A type that puts a lot of effort into their daily maintenance: a clean cut bob, plain but nicely manicured nails (without a chip in sight), polished shoes, tamed but not over-shaped brows. It looks easy, but don’t be fooled – there’s a lot of background work going on here.
Clothes must be expertly pressed. If you haven’t already invested in a steamer at home, do so – it will transform slightly wrinkled or sad-looking clothing (and people) in a matter of minutes. What we’re looking for here are perfect lines. Think Parisian, crisp starched shirts, soft nude leathers, a simple, boxy camel pea coat, plain tan brogues. The trick is in getting the cut right.
Quality is imperative, so buy the very best that you can invest in. Be careful in your fabric choices – synthetics will not work in any shape or form, so aim for silk, cotton and linen. Accessories should be well thought out. There’s an art to styling simplicity; get it wrong and you’ll simply look unfinished. Start with one quality piece of jewellery, such as a bold silver cuff or a simple rose-gold necklace. For once, a statement piece will only distract and cheapen the look.
This is simply a distilled, honeyed-down version of yourself, without all the tat. And despite my obvious protestations, or obvious aversion, this is not to say that it doesn’t look exquisite, done well. It really does (sigh). Still, we can but dream, can’t we?
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