“As parents, we're part of the first generation navigating this challenge in real time,” says Sharjah-based executive director Arjun Doney of raising children in the iPad age. “When we were growing up, entertainment was mostly traditional toys, board games, outdoor play and imagination-based activities. The previous generation hasn't really handed us a road map for managing children's relationship with technology, so we're learning as we go.”
Sharing snippets of his family life with wife Tara and daughters Sarah, nine, and Maria, six, with his 542,000 followers and subscribers on Instagram and YouTube, the family-comedy content creator says he has accepted that technology will be a part of his children’s lives. Wishing it away or closing his ears to its influence isn’t an option.
“Our approach has been to expose our children to both worlds,” he says. “We encourage traditional play through board games, soft toys, reading and outdoor activities because these help with creativity, social interaction, attention span and physical activity.
“At the same time, we don't believe in rejecting technology just because we didn't grow up with it,” he adds. “Technology is going to be a major part of their future, so it's our responsibility to help them learn how to use it responsibly rather than avoid it altogether. For us, it's all about balance.”
Doney’s approach is mirrored in the messaging within Toy Story 5. The latest instalment in the enduring franchise sees Bonnie, the current owner of the toys, receive a smart tablet called Lilypad for her birthday and begin to abandon her traditional toys in favour of the new tech.
The film looks set to tackle a range of themes parents will instantly connect with, including screen time limits and how friendships (and playdates) are affected by technology.
As Jessie laments in the trailer: “I'm losing Bonnie to this device.”
Guidance for parents is key
While Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Jessie, Bo Peep and the gang have imparted some sage and heart-warming life lessons over the years, experts worry that parents are not being given enough guidance in setting clear and effective boundaries when it comes to their children’s technology use.
“We keep talking about outcomes for children, but we spend far less time supporting the adults responsible for achieving them,” says Lisa Sherrington-Boyd, former school principal and early years specialist better known as @Principal_Lisa to her 20,000-plus Instagram followers. “We discuss children's reading levels, school readiness, behaviour, independence, resilience and well-being, but who is supporting the adults responsible for helping children achieve those outcomes? Parents are overwhelmed.”
digital well-being expert
The UAE government’s Early Childhood Authority guidelines suggest no screen time for under-twos, a maximum of one hour a day for children aged two to five, and two hours a day for those between five and eight years. The ECA also encourages enabling parental controls and balancing technology entertainment with physical play and offline social interactions.
“I think there’s plenty of information out there, but it’s really on the parent to search for it and then apply it in a way that’s appropriate for their particular child,” says Alison Burrows, senior lecturer of education at Middlesex University and digital well-being expert.
“There are some standards I one hundred per cent agree with, such as the social media ban in Australia for kids aged 16 and under. I also believe parents need to look at their own digital habits. If you are on your phone all the time, it’s difficult to set the rules and boundaries you want to for your children.”
Navigating peer pressure
One preview scene in Toy Story 5 shows Bonnie at a playdate or sleepover with her friends, where they are all sat watching their individual screens - a setting that is ripe for parents to address issues such as herd mentality and peer pressure.
“Rather than trying to eliminate peer pressure or dismiss its impact on a child's life, parents can help them understand it and manage it,” says Sofia Stigka, psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre in Dubai. “Children feel understood and heard when parents tell them that fitting in is a natural human need. This validation makes parents stand alongside their kids, not opposite of them. Open conversations about advertising, social influence and online trends can help children recognise when they are making choices to belong rather than because something truly matters to them.”
Stigka suggests teaching children some ready-made responses when facing peer pressure to help alleviate embarrassment. “Responses like, ‘I’m OK with what I have’, or ‘maybe I will get it when I’m a bit older’, can help them deal with an uncomfortable situation,” she says.
“It’s also helpful to know that avoiding or escaping an uncomfortable interaction altogether is also an option. For older children, responses like ‘I prefer to spend less time online’, or ‘I like being outside more’ can feel more natural and independent.”
Separating possessions from self-worth and teaching children that fitting in should not compromise their comfort, values or well-being can make peer pressure easier to manage. Parents can also encourage their children to forge friendships based on shared interests rather than devices.
For Burrows, peer pressure is not necessarily a bad thing. “A child’s response is typically related to the amount of confidence they have in themself, and where does a child learn that confidence? From their parents,” she says.
“We’ve been taught to never let our kids feel discomfort or dissatisfied – it’s one of biggest mistakes we’ve made as parents. Yes, age-appropriate peer pressure puts children in a difficult situation, but it also teaches them to navigate what is a typical social interaction. Being able to navigate and survive peer pressure is a tool a person can use for the rest of their life; it is a critical and valuable skill.”
Involving your child in technology decisions
Giving children autonomy over their iPad or device use doesn’t mean giving them unchecked access to the internet. Rather, involving children in decisions about their usage can help build essential life skills, foster independence, and teach responsibility and accountability.
“As a family, we have deliberately tried to create a balance,” says Liam Walsh, primary school teacher at Dubai Heights Academy and a father to three boys, aged 13, 12 and nine.
“We use screen-time limits and regularly discuss device usage with the boys. Rather than imposing rules, we encourage them to look at their own screen-time reports and reflect on whether they feel the amount of time spent on devices is reasonable. Giving them some ownership over those conversations has been helpful.”
Discussions around screen limits can allow parents to state the reasons why parental restrictions are necessary, such as online safety, effects on attention span, disrupted sleep and the need to switch off. Online restrictions should be framed as being about safety and well-being, as opposed to trust or a lack thereof.
Sarah Louise Donaldson, chief executive and founder of The Business Injection, is open about conversations she has with her 15-year-old son, who has a two-hour daily time limit for online scrolling, and the consequences they came up with together.
“The classic ‘but all my friends have it’ argument is one I have heard on rotation for four years,” says mum-of-three Donaldson, who is also a nurse. “My answer has never changed: 'We are not raising you to follow the crowd, we are raising you to be someone who can decide when the crowd is worth following and when it isn’t.'
“He has gone over that limit more times than I can count, and every single time the consequence has been the same: phone gone for 24 hours with no negotiation and no warnings,” she adds. “We have stayed consistent on that for years, and consistency has been everything. But those boundaries were not served to him; we built them together by asking what he thought was fair. We also ask him regularly to share what he has been learning, what he has been watching and what value it is adding.”
Reframing how we view technology
When it comes to childhood play, balancing technology and tradition remains high on many parents' wish lists. With devices here to stay, the emphasis should switch to teaching children responsible use and understanding the dangers without demonising a tool many use in school every day.
“Devices can be fantastic learning tools,” says Walsh. “Children can research topics instantly, explore images and videos from around the world, find definitions quickly and use creative apps to produce and present their work. I’ve seen this first-hand with my own children. For example, when my eldest son was younger, he developed a remarkably detailed knowledge of Napoleon and the Napoleonic Wars through his own independent exploration online.
“I do think there is a trade-off. Children still read books, build Lego, play games and spend time outdoors, but devices can sometimes reduce the amount of time they spend doing these activities. I also feel that technology can limit some of the spontaneous social interactions that previous generations experienced, such as knocking on a neighbour’s door to ask if they wanted to play outside.”
Donaldson concludes: “As a parent, I’ve often found myself questioning the narrative around technology. Not because I’m against it, but because the conversation always seems to be framed as a battle between parents and screens. In my experience, that’s not the real fight at all. Technology in our house is a tool not a pastime. We use it with purpose.”
Toy Story 5 is in UAE cinemas on June 18
