Death has changed the way Caroline Fattal Fakhoury looks at life.
While attending university in Paris, Mrs Fakhoury got a call announcing that her father had suddenly died. But as she flew home to Lebanon to join her mother and two sisters, there was more to consider than funeral arrangements.
At 18, she found herself in the middle of inheritance negotiations for an international family business with more than 100 years of history.
Mrs Fakhoury is now a firm believer in careful succession planning.
"It was felt that I was strongest to deal with emotional moments," she says. "It was an immense shock to lose a father and I felt the weight of responsibilities, especially when you need to deal with succession and inheritance all at the same time."
Twenty years later, Mrs Fakhoury is the first female board member of Khalil Fattal & Fils, the distributor of a range of luxury products, such as electronics, beauty products and medical equipment, across the Middle East and North Africa, and parts of Europe. After her father died, one of his cousins was appointed as the new chairman of the company.
However, keeping the company stable was far from easy.
Without any specific plans in place, Mrs Fakhoury, who is based in Dubai and represents the fourth generation of her business, says the process was stressful and challenging. The task of dividing assets and responsibilities, while balancing emotional and complex relationships, is enough to tear some family empires apart.
It's for this reason she attended last month's Family Business Retreat in Manama, the capital of Bahrain. The four-day event was dedicated to helping family owned businesses across the GCC plan for the next generation and institute effective corporate governance. From major conglomerates to modest enterprises, members of the family businesses listened to speakers and participated in workshops.
Mrs Fakhoury was one of those who shared their story. In addition to her duties on the board of Khalil Fattal & Fils, she is also the managing partner of Praesta, an international coaching firm that operates in more than 12 countries and employs nearly 100 coaches worldwide. Focusing on chief executives, chairmen and directors, the idea is to aid business leaders in office politics and succession planning.
"I want to help other companies prepare for unexpected moments," she says.
Her concern is well founded. Unlike anywhere else in the world, family businesses in the GCC are a pillar of the economy.
According to a recent survey by PricewaterhouseCoopers, more than 80 per cent of enterprises in the region are family owned or family run. Meanwhile, an estimated Dh3.67 trillion is expected to be passed down to the following generation in the next five to 10 years.
But another figure is perhaps even more startling: 48 per cent of the survey respondents said they have no specific plans for succession.
Walid Chiniara, the co-founder and managing director of The Family Business Advisory Group in Dubai, is an international corporate lawyer who has been advising families for more than 10 years.
One of the unique aspects of the Middle East, he says, is the rise of enterprises during the initial oil boom 40 to 50 years ago. Small businesses, spurred on by the region's tremendous economic growth, have mushroomed into modern-day conglomerates. And at the top of these great pyramids, he says, is the patriarch, or founder, of the company. "In this region, there is a particular reverence for the elder," says Mr Chiniara, who also attended the retreat in Bahrain.
"Convincing the patriarch to let go can be difficult. Sometimes, basic communication doesn't take place. We intervene at various levels. Brokering a deal between the senior and junior levels of the family requires an acknowledgement that people have their own ambitions, dreams and values. We try to match them."
With some families comprising more than 100 members, Mr Chiniara's job is to balance everyone's interests and keep the business strong.
"Failure to properly plan and communicate will cause the business to dismantle and could destroy everything that was built," he adds.
Khalid M Kanoo is the chairman of the Bahrain Family Business Association and the group managing director of The Kanoo Group, one of the oldest and largest family owned conglomerates in the GCC.
He agrees that respect, understanding and foresight from the patriarch is paramount when dealing with succession planning. As a senior member of a family business with more than 120 years of tradition, his message at the retreat was simple: the "old man" must accept change and new ideas.
"When the old man does not allow things to happen, then you have a problem," Mr Kanoo says. "He thinks: 'I am here until I die. This is my way. Don't argue with me. I am the eldest and, therefore, everyone will do what I want.' Generally, this is true. He did start the business. But at the same time, it doesn't give people the chance to give an opinion or bring ideas."
To survive globalisation, he says family businesses in the region must embrace change and modern principles of governance.
And the best way to do this, Mr Kanoo says, is a constitution. Once a succession plan is in place, a continuum with rules and regulations is clear to all members.
Tony Jashanmal, the director of Jashanmal National Company, is a firm believer in these principles.
With his son, Narain, 31, in attendance at the retreat, he told the story of how his business had successfully survived each generation. Beginning in 1919, he says, his grandfather sensed opportunity for growth in Iraq after the First World War. He left his family in India and opened his first department store.
The stores quickly expanded to Kuwait in the early 1930s, Bahrain in 1935, Dubai in 1956 and Abu Dhabi in 1963. Over time, the company grew beyond retail to include product distribution.
The Jashanmal National Company proved a major success. But rather than hold on to his power, Tony Jashanmal's grandfather decided to retire at 50 and hand responsibility over to his two eldest sons. His three other sons were also invited into the business once they came of age. Before long, all five sons were each placed in charge of the five areas of the Jashanmal empire.
"It was fortuitous that my great-grandfather decided to leave the business relatively early," says Narain Jashanmal, who works as the general manager of the print media and distribution business.
"They didn't deal with that problem of the patriarch who doesn't want to let go."
But in 1973, the eldest of the five sons, Tony Jashanmal's father, died. With an ever-expanding family and business, the time had come for a constitution. Over the course of two days, a plan was drawn up, whereby the Jashanmal brand became a shareholding company. Tony Jashanmal would receive his father's shares, while the four remaining brothers were all given their 20 per cent piece of the pie. Family members were allowed to trade, sell or give away shares as they saw fit.
In terms of structure, the company is made up of four senior executives: the chief executive in charge of retail, the chief executive of wholesale, a chief financial officer and the group president and chief executive.
And none of these positions are open to family members.
"The CEO should never be family," Tony Jashanmal says. "He must be totally accountable and if he doesn't perform, he should leave. If he performs, he should be compensated the most, even more than family members."
Members of the family, living around the world and representing 27 different nationalities, are invited into every other facet of the business. But nobody is ever forced into the fold. For those who do well, the Jashanmal National Company has a family board, which is appointed based on recommendations from the family office. Most major decisions are filtered through the board.
Today, the family business no longer resembles its humble origins in Iraq. More than 1,800 people directly work for the company, with thousands more affiliated through its various holdings and interests. Meanwhile, just three Jashanmal family members are actually working in the business - Tony, his uncle Mohan and Narain.
Narain Jashanmal's involvement in the business was unexpected. After studying cinema in school, he eventually joined the company in April 2004. However, instead of starting at the top, he was put to work in the company's warehouse.
Tony Jashanmal believes no child should be forced into the family business. If he or she chooses to join, they must start at the bottom. There is also no guarantee that when Tony Jashanmal steps down as director of the board that Narain will fill his shoes.
"It will be a family member," Narain Jashanmal says.
"As to whether it is me or not, that's open to debate. There are a couple of cousins who worked in the company and are now outside the business. But they have plenty of experience."
He adds that he is also not the eldest male in the extended family. In fact, although his sister isn't interested in the business, the future leaders of the family empire are not chosen on traditional patriarchal lines, but on competency.
As a leader in her field, Mrs Fakhoury says women are increasingly playing a pivotal role in a healthy corporate culture.
"Women bring transformation leadership," she says. "Men bring transaction leadership. Men are more about power and results. Women bring the relationship part. That is what I bring to the business. At the same time, women are also responsible for a lot of wealth. We also have the power of the purse."
Fortunately, for Girish Hira and his younger brother, Manish, the choice as to who will carry the baton was relatively simple.
The brothers and co-directors of Hira Industries are the only heirs to their father's business, which was established in Dubai in 1980. Originally from India, Girish, 37, and Manish, 33, were born and raised in the UAE. Similar to the Jashanmals, the transition from the patriarch to the next generation was made easy when their father stepped down in 2002 at the age of 58.
The real challenge for these brothers, who are close in age, is the division of power and responsibility.
"It's important to have different and clear management responsibilities," Girish Hira says. "With any big decisions, we make them jointly. At the same time, we each have our own management team for other issues."
The system has paid dividends. When the brothers took over the business, Hira Industries was a small trading company focused on air conditioners.
Now, it not only manufactures and distributes air conditioners around the region, but also produces related construction materials, such as tapes and plastics.
Girish Hira tends to handle the air-conditioning side of the business, while Manish Hira focuses on the construction materials.
Aided by the construction boom in Dubai, the company grew tremendously in the early 2000s, mushrooming from just a handful of employees to more than 350 today.
Although the business is on the right track, the brothers know some of their most important decisions are just down the road.
Manish Hira says they attended the retreat to learn how to properly implement a board, governance and succession plans to better deal with their large business.
His son is almost four years old, and his brother has three children, ages eight, six and four. It's time, Manish Hira says, to think about the future.
"We are probably halfway through the second generation and we need to put some principles in place for the third," he says. "We need to make sure we are properly managed. We are here to learn from others [who] have done it."
Tony Jashanmal is a role model for these up-and-coming family entrepreneurs. In fact, he says, the transition from the second generation to the third is often the most difficult, with more children and individuals in the picture to consider. But as the company grows, and more employees begin to depend on the enterprise, keeping the business together often goes beyond money - and even family.
Serious entrepreneurs must have the social responsibility to ensure their governance and succession plans are airtight.
"You are not in the business to make money," Tony Jashanmal says. "You are in business because it is your role in society. If you do it properly, you will reap the rewards."