Too often, the types of questions people ask say a lot about them. The Romanian playwright Eugène Ionesco once said: “It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” His wisdom is still applicable today.
As humans, we’re naturally curious, and this skill manifests itself from childhood. From the moment we learn to speak, we ask why, how and what. We ask the questions to learn, discover and understand. Regardless of how annoyed our parents become when we ask the same question 50 times, we don’t stop asking. We don’t care how silly the question may sound – we just ask because we want to know – and when we do know, we ask again, because we want to know more. We keep asking because we’re thirsty for knowledge.
We carry our questioning skills into adulthood, and when we ask questions – the right questions – we lead humanity and ourselves to amazing discoveries.
Remember when you were taught in school that “there are no stupid questions”? This was to encourage us to ask more. They were right; there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but there certainly is such a thing as a bad question.
Have you ever asked yourself why is this happening to me? Why is that person better than me? Why can’t I get a promotion? Why don’t I look good? Why can’t I do anything right? Then you’re familiar with the bad question format.
These questions are what I call the motivation vacuum. Any question that comes in that format is destructive, and it won’t only lead to a bad answer, but it will lead to a sad life, simply because you will be surrendering the control over your life to circumstance and other people.
Successful people around the world understand the power of a good question. A good question will sound something like: “How can I make my life better?” instead of “Why is this happening to me?” “How do I see my future self?” “How can I become the best version of me?”
A bad question invites negativity, drains energy, fills the heart with resentment and, in some cases, leads to depression. A good question, on the other hand, provokes positive thinking, encourages problem-solving and leads to actions that change the game.
Asking good questions won’t only empower you with the knowledge and insights you need to live a meaningful life, it will also unleash your potential. It will give you hope as you start looking at the possibilities instead of the limitations.
Don’t ask why, unless you’re looking for a purpose. Ask how you can get there and what needs to be done. So now, what are you going to ask yourself next?
Deena Al Mansoori is a co-active (life) coach and entrepreneur.
If you're an Emirati woman with a good story to tell or an interesting issue to debate, contact Shireena Al Nowais on salnuwais@thenational.ae.
