So Tyrion is facing a death sentence? Boo hoo. As they say in High Valyrian, valar morghulis – all men must die.
Even if, perish the thought, worst comes to worst for the cunning imp – that's nothing compared with the anguish and misery about to wrack us all like a bout with The Mountain when Game of Thrones withdrawal sets in after the fourth-season finale tonight.
In the best-case scenario, we’ve got 10 months of famine to kill before we can again lay our Westeros-hungry eyes upon the fetching Jon Snow, the commanding Khaleesi Daenerys, the newly devious Sansa Stark and the high-handed Tywin Lannister.
But still – 10 months? That’s enough time for a White Walker to come to Abu Dhabi and leave with a rich chestnut tan.
Fret not. We'll give you courage enough to rival the stout Samwell Tarly with our 10 ways to cope with Game of Thrones withdrawal.
1 Rear a dragon
Just think of the stories you and Mother of Dragons Daenerys can share next to the blazing hearth if you raise your very own Draco volans – known as the flying dragon – a species of gliding lizard common to Southeast Asia. Its brightly coloured wings boast orange, red and blue spots and stripes – sure to catch the eye of the Khaleesi.
2 Tackle the tomes
When the appointed, but now Throne-less, broadcast hour arrives each Monday evening, tuck into A Song of Ice and Fire, the series of novels that inspire the TV opus. But only read for one hour, and not a nanosecond more, if you want the experience to tide you over until season five. (Besides, the author George R R Martin, so lethal to so many of his “darlings”, is safest in small doses.)
3 Climb a glacier
Fancy yourself a manly Jon Snow in the making? Grab your pitons and grappling hook and boogie off to Greenland. Not only will you beat the UAE summer heat, but you’ll have a mega-cool fantasy. Pretend you’re scaling the dizzying heights of The Wall, with a world-beating grin, as you imagine the late, lamented ginger Ygritte the Wilding, now your lady, yelling that “you know nothing”.
4 Rewatch it all
Take a sentimental journey back to the glory days when Eddard “Ned” Stark, the kindly Lord of Winterfell, still had a head on his shoulders and Joffrey Baratheon couldn’t do as much damage as a snotty, bratty prince who had yet to chug his final grail of wine. That’s 40 episodes in all, guaranteed to leave you shouting: “Hodor!”
5 Fight a bear
Follow in the fearless footsteps of Brienne of Tarth and Ser Jaime Lannister as you grapple a grizzly, preferably in the mountainous wilds of western Canada, where you can get also a sweet exchange rate on any American dollars you bring with you. Couples, however, will first have to decide which of them will portray the “Maiden Fair” to add to the realism of the rescue.
6 Scowl like Tywin
Steam up your bathroom then, when you step out of the shower, allow yourself to mysteriously “materialise” out of the swirling mist before the bathroom mirror, where you work on your glower. Panic friends and family alike with a death stare for the ages that will make you the new power-broker on the block.
7 Do a dramatic reading
Whenever you feel the walls of life pressing in, honour Game of Thrones and win over the people who annoy you with an earnest dramatic reading of Tyrion’s trial speech: “I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.”
8 Learn Dothraki
Do something "davra" (useful) with your mouth. Learn the exotic nomadic tongue from David J Peterson, the linguist who created it for the show. October will see the release of Living Language Dothraki: A Conversational Language Course with a book and CD package, plus a mobile app for freshly minted Dothraki speakers on the go. (www.livinglanguage.com/dothraki)
9 Play the board game
Tired of Monopoly? Cluedo feels clueless? Chin up, mate! It's time to play A Game of Thrones: The Board Game: "Will you take power through force, use honeyed words to coerce your way onto the throne, or rally the townsfolk to your side? Through strategic planning, masterful diplomacy and clever card play, spread your influence over Westeros!"
10 Count your blessings
Grab a pencil and pad, then take stock of all the good things and simple pleasures in your life – Game of Thrones being chief among them. And remember to give a special thank you for the fact that you still have 10 fingers, 10 toes – and that you're not Theon Greyjoy.
• The fourth-season finale of Game of Thrones is broadcast at 11pm tonight on OSN First HD
artslife@thenational.ae
PREMIER LEAGUE STATS
Romelu Lukaku's goalscoring statistics in the Premier League
Season/club/appearances (substitute)/goals
2011/12 Chelsea: 8(7) - 0
2012/13 West Brom (loan): 35(15) - 17
2013/14 Chelsea: 2(2) - 0
2013/14 Everton (loan): 31(2) - 15
2014/15 Everton: 36(4) - 10
2015/16 Everton: 37(1) - 18
2016/17 Everton: 37(1) - 25
SPECS
Engine: 1.5-litre turbo
Power: 181hp
Torque: 230Nm
Transmission: 6-speed automatic
Starting price: Dh79,000
On sale: Now
UAE athletes heading to Paris 2024
Equestrian
Abdullah Humaid Al Muhairi, Abdullah Al Marri, Omar Al Marzooqi, Salem Al Suwaidi, and Ali Al Karbi (four to be selected).
Judo
Men: Narmandakh Bayanmunkh (66kg), Nugzari Tatalashvili (81kg), Aram Grigorian (90kg), Dzhafar Kostoev (100kg), Magomedomar Magomedomarov (+100kg); women's Khorloodoi Bishrelt (52kg).
Cycling
Safia Al Sayegh (women's road race).
Swimming
Men: Yousef Rashid Al Matroushi (100m freestyle); women: Maha Abdullah Al Shehi (200m freestyle).
Athletics
Maryam Mohammed Al Farsi (women's 100 metres).
The Case For Trump
By Victor Davis Hanson
The specs
Engine: 3.8-litre twin-turbo flat-six
Power: 650hp at 6,750rpm
Torque: 800Nm from 2,500-4,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch auto
Fuel consumption: 11.12L/100km
Price: From Dh796,600
On sale: now
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
Honeymoonish
Director: Elie El Samaan
Starring: Nour Al Ghandour, Mahmoud Boushahri
Rating: 3/5
Sarfira
Director: Sudha Kongara Prasad
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Radhika Madan, Paresh Rawal
Rating: 2/5
The specs
Engine: Dual synchronous electric motors
Power: 660hp
Torque: 1,100Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Touring range: 488km-560km
Price: From Dh850,000 (estimate)
On sale: October
RESULT
Manchester United 1 Brighton and Hove Albion 0
Man United: Dunk (66' og)
Man of the Match: Shane Duffy (Brighton)
The Specs
Engine: 1.6-litre 4-cylinder petrol
Power: 118hp
Torque: 149Nm
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Price: From Dh61,500
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Stars: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy
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Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: 8-speed Tiptronic automatic
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Under 12 – Minerva Academy
Under 14 – Unam Pumas
Under 16 – Fursan Hispania
Under 18 – Madenat
All We Imagine as Light
Director: Payal Kapadia
Starring: Kani Kusruti, Divya Prabha, Chhaya Kadam
Rating: 4/5
The specs
Price, base / as tested Dh135,000
Engine 1.6L turbo
Gearbox Six speed automatic with manual and sports mode
Power 165hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque 240Nm @ 1,400rpm 0-100kph: 9.2 seconds
Top speed 420 kph (governed)
Fuel economy, combined 35.2L / 100km (est)
The Freedom Artist
By Ben Okri (Head of Zeus)
'Will of the People'
Artist: Muse
Label: Warner
Rating: 2.5/5
EMIRATES'S REVISED A350 DEPLOYMENT SCHEDULE
Edinburgh: November 4 (unchanged)
Bahrain: November 15 (from September 15); second daily service from January 1
Kuwait: November 15 (from September 16)
Mumbai: January 1 (from October 27)
Ahmedabad: January 1 (from October 27)
Colombo: January 2 (from January 1)
Muscat: March 1 (from December 1)
Lyon: March 1 (from December 1)
Bologna: March 1 (from December 1)
Source: Emirates
The specs
Engine: Single front-axle electric motor
Power: 218hp
Torque: 330Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Max touring range: 402km (claimed)
Price: From Dh215,000 (estimate)
On sale: September
TWISTERS
Director:+Lee+Isaac+Chung
Starring:+Glen+Powell,+Daisy+Edgar-Jones,+Anthony+Ramos
Rating:+2.5/5
Neymar's bio
Total club appearances 411
Total goals scored 241
Appearances for Barca 186
Goals scored for Barca 105
Company profile
Company: Zywa
Started: 2021
Founders: Nuha Hashem and Alok Kumar
Based: UAE
Industry: FinTech
Funding size: $3m
Company valuation: $30m
Section 375
Cast: Akshaye Khanna, Richa Chadha, Meera Chopra & Rahul Bhat
Director: Ajay Bahl
Producers: Kumar Mangat Pathak, Abhishek Pathak & SCIPL
Rating: 3.5/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Company name: Sav
Started: 2021
Founder: Purvi Munot
Based: Dubai
Industry: FinTech
Funding: $750,000 as of March 2023
Investors: Angel investors
Zimbabwe v UAE, ODI series
All matches at the Harare Sports Club
- 1st ODI, Wednesday, April 10
- 2nd ODI, Friday, April 12
- 3rd ODI, Sunday, April 14
- 4th ODI, Sunday, April 16
Squads:
- UAE: Mohammed Naveed (captain), Rohan Mustafa, Ashfaq Ahmed, Shaiman Anwar, Mohammed Usman, CP Rizwan, Chirag Suri, Mohammed Boota, Ghulam Shabber, Sultan Ahmed, Imran Haider, Amir Hayat, Zahoor Khan, Qadeer Ahmed
- Zimbabwe: Peter Moor (captain), Solomon Mire, Brian Chari, Regis Chakabva, Sean Williams, Timycen Maruma, Sikandar Raza, Donald Tiripano, Kyle Jarvis, Tendai Chatara, Chris Mpofu, Craig Ervine, Brandon Mavuta, Ainsley Ndlovu, Tony Munyonga, Elton Chigumbura
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Cinco in numbers
Dh3.7 million
The estimated cost of Victoria Swarovski’s gem-encrusted Michael Cinco wedding gown
46
The number, in kilograms, that Swarovski’s wedding gown weighed.
1,000
The hours it took to create Cinco’s vermillion petal gown, as seen in his atelier [note, is the one he’s playing with in the corner of a room]
50
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The hours needed to create the butterfly gown worn by Aishwarya Rai to the 2018 Cannes Film Festival.
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The number of followers that Michael Cinco’s Instagram account has garnered.
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Company name: Fasset
Started: 2019
Founders: Mohammad Raafi Hossain, Daniel Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $2.45 million
Current number of staff: 86
Investment stage: Pre-series B
Investors: Investcorp, Liberty City Ventures, Fatima Gobi Ventures, Primal Capital, Wealthwell Ventures, FHS Capital, VN2 Capital, local family offices
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Produced by: Carnival Cinemas, Zee Studios
Directed by: Anubhav Sinha
Starring: Ayushmann Khurrana, Kumud Mishra, Manoj Pahwa, Sayani Gupta, Zeeshan Ayyub
Our rating: 4/5
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Name: SmartCrowd
Started: 2018
Founder: Siddiq Farid and Musfique Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech / PropTech
Initial investment: $650,000
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Investment stage: Series A
Investors: Various institutional investors and notable angel investors (500 MENA, Shurooq, Mada, Seedstar, Tricap)
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Starring: Lupita Nyong'o, Joseph Quinn, Djimon Hounsou
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It's Monty Python's Crashing Rocket Circus
To the theme tune of the famous zany British comedy TV show, SpaceX has shown exactly what can go wrong when you try to land a rocket.
The two minute video posted on YouTube is a compilation of crashes and explosion as the company, created by billionaire Elon Musk, refined the technique of reusable space flight.
SpaceX is able to land its rockets on land once they have completed the first stage of their mission, and is able to resuse them multiple times - a first for space flight.
But as the video, How Not to Land an Orbital Rocket Booster, demonstrates, it was a case if you fail, try and try again.
How green is the expo nursery?
Some 400,000 shrubs and 13,000 trees in the on-site nursery
An additional 450,000 shrubs and 4,000 trees to be delivered in the months leading up to the expo
Ghaf, date palm, acacia arabica, acacia tortilis, vitex or sage, techoma and the salvadora are just some heat tolerant native plants in the nursery
Approximately 340 species of shrubs and trees selected for diverse landscape
The nursery team works exclusively with organic fertilisers and pesticides
All shrubs and trees supplied by Dubai Municipality
Most sourced from farms, nurseries across the country
Plants and trees are re-potted when they arrive at nursery to give them room to grow
Some mature trees are in open areas or planted within the expo site
Green waste is recycled as compost
Treated sewage effluent supplied by Dubai Municipality is used to meet the majority of the nursery’s irrigation needs
Construction workforce peaked at 40,000 workers
About 65,000 people have signed up to volunteer
Main themes of expo is ‘Connecting Minds, Creating the Future’ and three subthemes of opportunity, mobility and sustainability.
Expo 2020 Dubai to open in October 2020 and run for six months
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Name: HyveGeo
Started: 2023
Founders: Abdulaziz bin Redha, Dr Samsurin Welch, Eva Morales and Dr Harjit Singh
Based: Cambridge and Dubai
Number of employees: 8
Industry: Sustainability & Environment
Funding: $200,000 plus undisclosed grant
Investors: Venture capital and government
Fourth Arab Economic and Social Development Summit
As he spoke, Mr Aboul Gheit repeatedly referred to the need to tackle issues affecting the welfare of people across the region both in terms of preventing conflict and in pushing development.
Lebanon is scheduled to host the fourth Arab Economic and Social Development Summit in January that will see regional leaders gather to tackle the challenges facing the Middle East. The last such summit was held in 2013. Assistant Secretary-General Hossam Zaki told The National that the Beirut Summit “will be an opportunity for Arab leaders to discuss solely economic and social issues, the conference will not focus on political concerns such as Palestine, Syria or Libya". He added that its slogan will be “the individual is at the heart of development”, adding that it will focus on all elements of human capital.
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