The English football fixtures are supposedly arranged by computer before the start of the season, but you sometimes wonder if there is not a guiding hand fiddling about with the Premier League's software to ensure extra piquancy in the weekend's matches.
Take tomorrow's match at Upton Park between West Ham and Newcastle. True, it is unlikely to have much bearing on the destination of the title, or even the European qualification spots, at the end of the season. In fact, if it is not too cruel to say so at this early stage, it looks suspiciously like a relegation six-pointer. But notwithstanding Manchester United's showdown with Chelsea, it is a match to which many football supporters' eyes will turn. It is arguably a clash to determine Britain's most chaotic club.
Football in the UK is going through cataclysmic change. Big sums of money, often from foreign investors, are pouring into British clubs, forcing a shift in attitudes and often a rethinking of the whole structure of the club.
To understand why this process is proving so problematic - particularly at West Ham and Newcastle - you need to know the way football used to be run in the days when the two recently departed managers, Alan Curbishley from West Ham and Kevin Keegan from Newcastle, were players.
In those days, the football club was the manager's fiefdom. He had control of every aspect. The directors were usually local businessmen, fans essentially, with a few pounds in their pocket, whose investment bought them little more than good seats at the ground and the chance to join the club captain for a post-match drink.
They did not command a great deal of respect around the football club. One player, Len Shackleton - a Newcastle United player in the 1950s, as it happens - famously wrote a chapter in his autobiography entitled The Average Director's Knowledge of Football, which consisted of an entirely blank page.
These days, football directors may still not have an intimate knowledge of how to employ a midfield holding player or an attacker playing in the hole behind the main striker, but they do know that they have bought into a global brand, and are understandably keen to protect their investment.
Conventional wisdom appears to be that that is not best achieved by employing one of those ego-driven oligarchs who used to strut around the stage of English football, like Brian Clough, who not only had complete control of all football matters, but was not above bawling out the catering manager if the snack bar ran out of Wagon Wheels (a chocolate biscuit without which, mystifyingly, English football would have ground to a halt in the 1970s and 1980s).
Cloughie was a highly effective manager, of course, winning the European Cup with Nottingham Forest, but in an era when he was not exposed to multi-media scrutiny and the vagaries of global money markets. While neither Curbishley nor Keegan is a Clough-like figure, each left his club because he felt control was being taken out of his hands. Neither was happy with the system under which a director of football buys and sells the club's assets - the players, that is - leaving the manager to concentrate purely on coaching matters. The fans have broadly sided with the managers on this issue, even though Curbishley was not universally popular among West Ham followers.
The key, for new owners of football clubs, would appear to be consultation. At Arsenal and Manchester United, for instance, I am sure Wenger and Ferguson are kept fully informed of any changes.
It helps that at the Emirates stadium and Old Trafford, trophies are realistic aspirations, while at West Ham and Newcastle, they are wild dreams, which two passionate sets of fans have somehow translated into non- negotiable demands.
But then, Tyneside and London's East End are two old-fashioned working-class areas, where historically the will of the people is very important. Given the very powerful voice - and the impossible dreams - of these fans, it is unlikely West Ham and Newcastle will ever be what you might call thoroughly modern football clubs. They will always provide entertainment, though - on and off the pitch.
martin.kelner@yahoo.co.uk
RESULTS
5pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 2,200m
Winner: Arjan, Fabrice Veron (jockey), Eric Lemartinel (trainer).
5.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 1,400m
Winner: Jap Nazaa, Royston Ffrench, Irfan Ellahi.
6pm: Al Ruwais Group 3 (PA) Dh300,000 1,200m
Winner: RB Lam Tara, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinal.
6.30pm: Shadwell Gold Cup Prestige Dh125,000 1,600m
Winner: AF Sanad, Bernardo Pinheiro, Khalifa Al Neyadi.
7pm: Shadwell Farm Stallions Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 1,600m
Winner: Jawal Al Reef, Patrick Cosgrave, Abdallah Al Hammadi.
7.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh80,000 1,600m
Winner: Dubai Canal, Harry Bentley, Satish Seemar.
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
%3Cp%3EName%3A%20DarDoc%3Cbr%3EBased%3A%20Abu%20Dhabi%3Cbr%3EFounders%3A%20Samer%20Masri%2C%20Keswin%20Suresh%3Cbr%3ESector%3A%20HealthTech%3Cbr%3ETotal%20funding%3A%20%24800%2C000%3Cbr%3EInvestors%3A%20Flat6Labs%2C%20angel%20investors%20%2B%20Incubated%20by%20Hub71%2C%20Abu%20Dhabi's%20Department%20of%20Health%3Cbr%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%2010%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Groom and Two Brides
Director: Elie Samaan
Starring: Abdullah Boushehri, Laila Abdallah, Lulwa Almulla
Rating: 3/5
The specs
- Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
- Power: 640hp
- Torque: 760nm
- On sale: 2026
- Price: Not announced yet
MATCH INFO
Rugby World Cup (all times UAE)
Final: England v South Africa, Saturday, 1pm
Benefits of first-time home buyers' scheme
- Priority access to new homes from participating developers
- Discounts on sales price of off-plan units
- Flexible payment plans from developers
- Mortgages with better interest rates, faster approval times and reduced fees
- DLD registration fee can be paid through banks or credit cards at zero interest rates
Women's Prize for Fiction shortlist
The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker
My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite
Milkman by Anna Burns
Ordinary People by Diana Evans
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
Circe by Madeline Miller
The%20Mandalorian%20season%203%20episode%201
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ERick%20Famuyiwa%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPedro%20Pascal%20and%20Katee%20Sackhoff%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E4%2F5%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
ENGLAND%20SQUAD
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ENGLAND SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Jack Butland, Jordan Pickford, Nick Pope
Defenders: John Stones, Harry Maguire, Phil Jones, Kyle Walker, Kieran Trippier, Gary Cahill, Ashley Young, Danny Rose, Trent Alexander-Arnold
Midfielders: Eric Dier, Jordan Henderson, Dele Alli, Jesse Lingard, Raheem Sterling, Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Fabian Delph
Forwards: Harry Kane, Jamie Vardy, Marcus Rashford, Danny Welbeck
Profile
Co-founders of the company: Vilhelm Hedberg and Ravi Bhusari
Launch year: In 2016 ekar launched and signed an agreement with Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. In January 2017 ekar launched in Dubai in a partnership with the RTA.
Number of employees: Over 50
Financing stage: Series B currently being finalised
Investors: Series A - Audacia Capital
Sector of operation: Transport
THE%20SPECS
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How much do leading UAE’s UK curriculum schools charge for Year 6?
- Nord Anglia International School (Dubai) – Dh85,032
- Kings School Al Barsha (Dubai) – Dh71,905
- Brighton College Abu Dhabi - Dh68,560
- Jumeirah English Speaking School (Dubai) – Dh59,728
- Gems Wellington International School – Dubai Branch – Dh58,488
- The British School Al Khubairat (Abu Dhabi) - Dh54,170
- Dubai English Speaking School – Dh51,269
*Annual tuition fees covering the 2024/2025 academic year
SERIE A FIXTURES
Saturday Benevento v Atalanta (2pm), Genoa v Bologna (5pm), AC Milan v Torino (7.45pm)
Sunday Roma v Inter Milan (3.30pm), Udinese v Napoli, Hellas Verona v Crotone, Parma v Lazio (2pm), Fiorentina v Cagliari (9pm), Juventus v Sassuolo (11.45pm)
Monday Spezia v Sampdoria (11.45pm)
Our legal consultants
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Spec%20sheet
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Specs
Engine: Duel electric motors
Power: 659hp
Torque: 1075Nm
On sale: Available for pre-order now
Price: On request
RESULTS
5pm: Wathba Stallions Cup – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (Turf) 2,200m
Winner: M'A Yaromoon, Jesus Rosales (jockey), Khalifa Al Neydai (trainer)
5.30pm: Khor Al Baghal – Conditions (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner: No Riesgo Al Maury, Antonio Fresu, Ibrahim Al Hadhrami
6pm: Khor Faridah – Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner: JAP Almahfuz, Royston Ffrench, Irfan Ellahi
6.30pm: Abu Dhabi Fillies Classic – Prestige (PA) Dh110,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: Mahmouda, Pat Cosgrave, Abdallah Al Hammadi
7pm: Abu Dhabi Colts Classic – Prestige (PA) Dh110,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: AS Jezan, George Buckell, Ahmed Al Mehairbi
7.30pm: Khor Laffam – Handicap (TB) Dh80,000 (T) 2,200m
Winner: Dolman, Antonio Fresu, Bhupath Seemar
PSL FINAL
Multan Sultans v Peshawar Zalmi
8pm, Thursday
Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The specs: 2017 Dodge Ram 1500 Laramie Longhorn
Price, base / as tested: Dhxxx
Engine: 5.7L V8
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 395hp @ 5,600rpm
Torque: 556Nm @ 3,950rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.7L / 100km
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
COMPANY PROFILE
● Company: Bidzi
● Started: 2024
● Founders: Akshay Dosaj and Asif Rashid
● Based: Dubai, UAE
● Industry: M&A
● Funding size: Bootstrapped
● No of employees: Nine
Company%20profile
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