The NHL holds its All-Star Game on Sunday. I will not pretend to have watched it, not because the game started at 2am in the UAE but because it always is so lame. It is hockey without hitting, which is not hockey.
If I had to rate NHL games from most to least watchable, in descending order the hierarchy would be this:
1 – First round of play-offs (so much going on, a giddy, eight-ring circus).
2 – Stanley Cup final if there’s a Canadian team.
3 – Late-season games with play-offs position on the line.
4 – Middle rounds of play-offs (high stakes but post-season is way too long; a processional slog).
5 – Games early in the season (a time of possibility and surprise).
6 – Mid-season games (the regular season is, like the play-offs, much too long).
7 – Cup final if there’s no Canadian team (note: Nos 5, 6 and 7 are pretty tight).
8 – Pre-season games.
9 – Late-season games without play-offs position on the line.
10 – Reruns of old matches on ESPN Classic or some such.
11 – All-Star Game.
In the NHL’s defence, it is at least trying to gimmick up the All-Star Game this year. On Friday, the league said that some players and referees would wear GoPro cameras, which provide dizzying views of the action. What the NHL really needs to do is introduce this in games that count and not just the dumbest of the year. If the league could do this in time for the play-offs, fans would go nuts.
rmckenzie@thenational.ae
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