Getting back to health


  • English
  • Arabic

It was supposed to be a lavish, lakeside celebration with friends and fireworks. In the months coming up to the year 2000, I had envisaged marking the millennium with a night that I'd never forget. As it turned out, I was right about that, but for all the wrong reasons.

Struck down with the flu, I spent a miserable evening at my parents' house instead, huddled inside with a rug over my knees. At the time, I viewed it as little more than a disappointment. What I didn't realise was that it was the start of a protracted battle with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), an illness that was to wipe out much of my 30s, destroying my career as a lawyer and ruining my social life. As I watched my world contract to a miserable shadow of what it had been, I looked enviously at friends brimming with energy and longed for the day when I could join them in a normal life.

Over a decade later, I can finally say that I've got my mojo back. Although I still have to be careful with my energy levels and have the occasional relapse, I no longer have to break each afternoon to sleep off the fatigue that used to thwart each day. I have launched a new career as a journalist and am able to work part-time, alongside raising my children. I socialise, go to parties and even throw the occasional one myself, and I'm strong enough to exercise several times a week. In short, I'm one of the lucky ones.

Yet for all the positives, my recovery has brought problems of its own. In common with many patients recovering from serious or long-term conditions, I've discovered the voyage back to health isn't all plain sailing.

The main struggle is learning what normal feels like. It's 11 years since I was last fully healthy, and I've just plain forgotten what that means. When I'm feeling tired, I find it difficult to gauge whether it's normal tiredness or more worrying fatigue; after all, I'm older than I was and perhaps can't expect to feel as perky at 43 as I did at 33.

This becomes a particular challenge when I'm exercising. I'm wary of pushing myself too far and lapsing back into ill health, but at the same time don't want to use my medical history as an excuse. If I find myself flagging in an exercise class, I don't know if feeling weak is typical for a 40-something trying to work out, or a sign that it's time to stop.

On a more profound level, being ill reduced me to a state of childlike dependence and changed the dynamics of my relationship with my husband. If I was too exhausted to think straight, he would make decisions for me. If I was too tired to contemplate going out, he would make my excuses. At times he had to be both mother and father to our children and take responsibility for all of us. I leaned on him heavily; thankfully, he had strong shoulders.

As I got better, he had to get used to me taking my rightful place in the family once again. It took a lot of patience and understanding as we all adjusted to the transition.

Dr Melanie C Schlatter, a consultant health psychologist at the Well Woman Clinic in Dubai, tells me that it's not uncommon for couples to find it hard when one partner has had to shoulder the burdens of both husband and wife.

"There can be a lot of resentment that builds up, as they've taken on roles that maybe they never wanted to or have had double duties, and it takes a lot of compassion and understanding to adjust to that."

Being ill also gave me a cast-iron excuse to avoid doing things I didn't want to do. I began to fall back on my condition to get out of daunting tasks and challenges and even, on occasion, to avoid some social functions. As I recovered, I would I find myself panicking at the responsibilities that good health had brought. There were no more excuses and sometimes I missed the safety blanket of my illness. This, too, is quite common, according to Schlatter: "The way you've come to terms with your illness has become comfortable. Just as you adapted to the illness in the first place, it's now a process of reversing that, and it can be difficult. Whether it's down to things you've managed to get out of, or things or people that you can avoid, it's almost a convenience to have something to fall back on. Of course, you can be absolutely tired, worn down or in pain, but it can be a little bit handy at times."

For others it can be more extreme.

"I've dealt with a lot of cancer patients who have been given the all clear. Once they're told they're fine and they don't need the check-ups as much, they can go into a bit of a spin. If there have been a lot of medical appointments and tests and check-ups, or even support groups, when they get to that point where they don't need them, it's almost like a grief process."

For all the problems, though, the prospect of beginning another new year reminds me how far I've come, and this year I'm going to make sure I enjoy it.

Healthy habits

Schlatter's advice:

  • Set realistic goals for what you can do. When you've been ill, you desperately want to feel good again and can easily overdo it, so give yourself permission to have a break.
  • Check in with yourself each day. Write down what gave you energy, and monitor yourself just as you did when you were ill.
  • Explain to others that you're taking things at your own pace. Those around you need to know how you are so they can match their expectations to yours.
  • If you have children, keep communicating, otherwise they may draw their own, wrong conclusions. You can set joint goals for things you'll do together when you're well enough.
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Our family matters legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

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MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW

Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman

Director: Jesse Armstrong

Rating: 3.5/5

Labour dispute

The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.


- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law 

Our legal columnist

Name: Yousef Al Bahar

Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994

Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers

Dust and sand storms compared

Sand storm

  • Particle size: Larger, heavier sand grains
  • Visibility: Often dramatic with thick "walls" of sand
  • Duration: Short-lived, typically localised
  • Travel distance: Limited 
  • Source: Open desert areas with strong winds

Dust storm

  • Particle size: Much finer, lightweight particles
  • Visibility: Hazy skies but less intense
  • Duration: Can linger for days
  • Travel distance: Long-range, up to thousands of kilometres
  • Source: Can be carried from distant regions
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Asia Cup Qualifier

Final
UAE v Hong Kong

Live on OSN Cricket HD. Coverage starts at 5.30am

The burning issue

The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE.

Part three: an affection for classic cars lives on

Read part two: how climate change drove the race for an alternative 

Read part one: how cars came to the UAE

La Mer lowdown

La Mer beach is open from 10am until midnight, daily, and is located in Jumeirah 1, well after Kite Beach. Some restaurants, like Cupagahwa, are open from 8am for breakfast; most others start at noon. At the time of writing, we noticed that signs for Vicolo, an Italian eatery, and Kaftan, a Turkish restaurant, indicated that these two restaurants will be open soon, most likely this month. Parking is available, as well as a Dh100 all-day valet option or a Dh50 valet service if you’re just stopping by for a few hours.
 

The specs

AT4 Ultimate, as tested

Engine: 6.2-litre V8

Power: 420hp

Torque: 623Nm

Transmission: 10-speed automatic

Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)

On sale: Now

How to apply for a drone permit
  • Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
  • Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
  • Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
  • Submit their request
What are the regulations?
  • Fly it within visual line of sight
  • Never over populated areas
  • Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
  • Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
  • Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
  • Should have a live feed of the drone flight
  • Drones must weigh 5 kg or less
Info

What: 11th edition of the Mubadala World Tennis Championship

When: December 27-29, 2018

Confirmed: men: Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Kevin Anderson, Dominic Thiem, Hyeon Chung, Karen Khachanov; women: Venus Williams

Tickets: www.ticketmaster.ae, Virgin megastores or call 800 86 823

Uefa Nations League

League A:
Germany, Portugal, Belgium, Spain, France, England, Switzerland, Italy, Poland, Iceland, Croatia, Netherlands

League B:
Austria, Wales, Russia, Slovakia, Sweden, Ukraine, Republic of Ireland, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Northern Ireland, Denmark, Czech Republic, Turkey

League C:
Hungary, Romania, Scotland, Slovenia, Greece, Serbia, Albania, Norway, Montenegro, Israel, Bulgaria, Finland, Cyprus, Estonia, Lithuania

League D:
Azerbaijan, Macedonia, Belarus, Georgia, Armenia, Latvia, Faroe Islands, Luxembourg, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Liechtenstein, Malta, Andorra, Kosovo, San Marino, Gibraltar

The biog

Favourite hobby: I love to sing but I don’t get to sing as much nowadays sadly.

Favourite book: Anything by Sidney Sheldon.

Favourite movie: The Exorcist 2. It is a big thing in our family to sit around together and watch horror movies, I love watching them.

Favourite holiday destination: The favourite place I have been to is Florence, it is a beautiful city. My dream though has always been to visit Cyprus, I really want to go there.

End of free parking

- paid-for parking will be rolled across Abu Dhabi island on August 18

- drivers will have three working weeks leeway before fines are issued

- areas that are currently free to park - around Sheikh Zayed Bridge, Maqta Bridge, Mussaffah Bridge and the Corniche - will now require a ticket

- villa residents will need a permit to park outside their home. One vehicle is Dh800 and a second is Dh1,200. 

- The penalty for failing to pay for a ticket after 10 minutes will be Dh200

- Parking on a patch of sand will incur a fine of Dh300

Seemar’s top six for the Dubai World Cup Carnival:

1. Reynaldothewizard
2. North America
3. Raven’s Corner
4. Hawkesbury
5. New Maharajah
6. Secret Ambition

Past winners of the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

2016 Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)

2015 Nico Rosberg (Mercedes-GP)

2014 Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)

2013 Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull Racing)

2012 Kimi Raikkonen (Lotus)

2011 Lewis Hamilton (McLaren)

2010 Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull Racing)

2009 Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull Racing)

 

Key facilities
  • Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
  • Premier League-standard football pitch
  • 400m Olympic running track
  • NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
  • 600-seat auditorium
  • Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
  • An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
  • Specialist robotics and science laboratories
  • AR and VR-enabled learning centres
  • Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills