A smashing joke
If you live near a golf club or are fond of the occasional round, then this is the joke gift for you. The "cracked glass" area measures approximately 15cm with a half golf ball in the centre. The joke sticks on with ease and is easily removed without leaving a mark.
Available from www.thegolfcollection.com for Dh33.
Scratch and sniff
Ideal for a friend or annoying colleague who waxes lyrical too much about their beloved motor. After they get over the initial shock of the prank, they may start fretting that the sticker will leave a mark. It doesn't; it peels off and is ready for another joke on a another driver.
Available from www.sillyjokes.co.uk for Dh7.
Whistle while you laugh
Press the whistle into the exhaust pipe of your victim's car and then watch, or listen, as it screams when they step on the accelerator. It's up to you when you tell them - or you could leave it until they take the car to a mechanic to increase their humiliation.
Available from www.thegag.com for Dh13.
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While you're here
National Editorial: What 'Fight Island' means for Abu Dhabi and the world
National Editorial: The UAE looks to cycling for exercise and for the planet
Gareth Cox: Sporting week in pictures, as Covid-19 makes its presence felt
While you're here
ADCC AFC Women’s Champions League Group A fixtures
October 3: v Wuhan Jiangda Women’s FC
October 6: v Hyundai Steel Red Angels Women’s FC
October 9: v Sabah FA
Friday’s fixture
6.15pm: Al Wahda v Hatta
6.15pm: Al Dhafra v Ajman
9pm: Al Wasl v Baniyas
9pm: Fujairah v Sharjah
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MATCH INFO
Real Madrid 2 (Benzema 13', Kroos 28')
Barcelona 1 (Mingueza 60')
Red card: Casemiro (Real Madrid)
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
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THE SPECS
Engine: 4.4-litre V8
Transmission: Automatic
Power: 530bhp
Torque: 750Nm
Price: Dh535,000
On sale: Now
MORE ON CORONAVIRUS
Editorial: Coronavirus-stricken communities need solidarity
Dominic Jermey: How epidemics like coronavirus can be caused by the illegal wildlife trade
Sholto Byrnes: Fake news about coronavirus is infecting the world
At a glance
- 20,000 new jobs for Emiratis over three years
- Dh300 million set aside to train 18,000 jobseekers in new skills
- Managerial jobs in government restricted to Emiratis
- Emiratis to get priority for 160 types of job in private sector
- Portion of VAT revenues will fund more graduate programmes
- 8,000 Emirati graduates to do 6-12 month replacements in public or private sector on a Dh10,000 monthly wage - 40 per cent of which will be paid by government
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Our coronavirus coverage
Gillian Duncan: What we know so far and what comes next?
Lin Yaduo: This is the time for facts, not fear
National Editorial: China deserves the whole world's support
National Editorial: We can defeat coronavirus if we all work together
Federer's 11 Wimbledon finals
2003 Beat Mark Philippoussis
2004 Beat Andy Roddick
2005 Beat Andy Roddick
2006 Beat Rafael Nadal
2007 Beat Rafael Nadal
2008 Lost to Rafael Nadal
2009 Beat Andy Roddick
2012 Beat Andy Murray
2014 Lost to Novak Djokovic
2015 Lost to Novak Djokovic
2017 Beat Marin Cilic
What is the definition of an SME?
SMEs in the UAE are defined by the number of employees, annual turnover and sector. For example, a “small company” in the services industry has six to 50 employees with a turnover of more than Dh2 million up to Dh20m, while in the manufacturing industry the requirements are 10 to 100 employees with a turnover of more than Dh3m up to Dh50m, according to Dubai SME, an agency of the Department of Economic Development.
A “medium-sized company” can either have staff of 51 to 200 employees or 101 to 250 employees, and a turnover less than or equal to Dh200m or Dh250m, again depending on whether the business is in the trading, manufacturing or services sectors.