Time spent in airports is the ultimate write-off. The same depreciation extends to anything eaten while flying and, for me, flying is a ritual that begins kerbside the moment I'm dropped off and doesn't end until I exit the sliding doors, inhale and am swept into the current of a new place.
Airports are vacuums, black holes from which neither light nor time escapes; incubators of daydreams and the squeak of alternate lives; twilight zones suspended between arrivals and departures, origins and destinations, where you've come from and where you're going. And that's exactly why it's OK that you can't help but buy every flavour in a line of crisps that isn't available in your hometown. Because while buying 14 bags of crisps at your local shop might be perceived as gluttonous or pathologically indecisive, stockpiling while in transit is merely the responsible thing to do, at least for the sake of culinary research. I'm especially fond of British crisps, which come in irresistible savoury incarnations such as roast chicken, roast beef and mustard, and prawn cocktail.
Travel can taste like the flavours of anticipation such as elation, the jitters and dread, each of which lend their own special seasoning that impacts the way we experience everything, including food. But for places that can evoke a lot of emotional catharsis, airports and hospitals are notorious for the quality of their dining options.
Some people eat when they get anxious, and I eat most voraciously when relaxed. What is the childlike serenity that consumes me in those sterile corridors? Maybe I use airports as a form of therapy, guiding me through a comforting and adult-appropriate weaning process.
As an escapist and a fantasist, airports are my neutral ground. Then again, restlessness has always been my most peaceful state - or at least my default one.
My long-standing tradition of soft-serve ice cream happy hours were surely born of the same logic that allows some travellers to unapologetically order cocktails at 9am: it may be 6am in Cincinnati, but it's time for ice cream somewhere. I can't count the number of times I've sprinted to catch the Skylink train at DFW while holding a lopsided, towering spire of soft-serve, always vanilla, hold the toppings. The taste is as cool, neutral and timeless as the transatlantic accent behind the TSA warnings on the PA system.
For me, transit is a permanent state of mind, precipitating many of my daily gaffes. Though I'm not jet-lagged at the moment, I still feel like I spend much of my waking life in a foggy mental layover, reading the news a day late, catching on to jokes only after everyone else has stopped laughing - and eating breakfast for dinner.
Airports are places of perfect order in a world that's anything but orderly, which makes the act of shuffling through the security line like livestock feel like a perverse luxury, or the ultimate psychological spa treatment. There's a protocol for everything. Just don't leave your baggage unattended, try not to think too hard and don't forget the ice cream.
Nouf Al-Qasimi is an Emirati food analyst who lives and cooks in New Mexico
Top tips to avoid cyber fraud
Microsoft’s ‘hacker-in-chief’ David Weston, creator of the tech company’s Windows Red Team, advises simple steps to help people avoid falling victim to cyber fraud:
1. Always get the latest operating system on your smartphone or desktop, as it will have the latest innovations. An outdated OS can erode away all investments made in securing your device or system.
2. After installing the latest OS version, keep it patched; this means repairing system vulnerabilities which are discovered after the infrastructure components are released in the market. The vast majority of attacks are based on out of date components – there are missing patches.
3. Multi-factor authentication is required. Move away from passwords as fast as possible, particularly for anything financial. Cybercriminals are targeting money through compromising the users’ identity – his username and password. So, get on the next level of security using fingertips or facial recognition.
4. Move your personal as well as professional data to the cloud, which has advanced threat detection mechanisms and analytics to spot any attempt. Even if you are hit by some ransomware, the chances of restoring the stolen data are higher because everything is backed up.
5. Make the right hardware selection and always refresh it. We are in a time where a number of security improvement processes are reliant on new processors and chip sets that come with embedded security features. Buy a new personal computer with a trusted computing module that has fingerprint or biometric cameras as additional measures of protection.
Teri Baaton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya
Directors: Amit Joshi and Aradhana Sah
Cast: Shahid Kapoor, Kriti Sanon, Dharmendra, Dimple Kapadia, Rakesh Bedi
Rating: 4/5
And Just Like That...
Director: Various
Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis
Rating: 3/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
FA CUP FINAL
Chelsea 1
Hazard (22' pen)
Manchester United 0
Man of the match: Eden Hazard (Chelsea)
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants
UAE athletes heading to Paris 2024
Equestrian
Abdullah Humaid Al Muhairi, Abdullah Al Marri, Omar Al Marzooqi, Salem Al Suwaidi, and Ali Al Karbi (four to be selected).
Judo
Men: Narmandakh Bayanmunkh (66kg), Nugzari Tatalashvili (81kg), Aram Grigorian (90kg), Dzhafar Kostoev (100kg), Magomedomar Magomedomarov (+100kg); women's Khorloodoi Bishrelt (52kg).
Cycling
Safia Al Sayegh (women's road race).
Swimming
Men: Yousef Rashid Al Matroushi (100m freestyle); women: Maha Abdullah Al Shehi (200m freestyle).
Athletics
Maryam Mohammed Al Farsi (women's 100 metres).
THE SPECS
Engine: 1.5-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Constant Variable (CVT)
Power: 141bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: Dh64,500
On sale: Now
MATCH INFO
Newcastle United 1 (Carroll 82')
Leicester City 2 (Maddison 55', Tielemans 72')
Man of the match James Maddison (Leicester)
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Xpanceo
Started: 2018
Founders: Roman Axelrod, Valentyn Volkov
Based: Dubai, UAE
Industry: Smart contact lenses, augmented/virtual reality
Funding: $40 million
Investor: Opportunity Venture (Asia)
Bawaal
Director: Nitesh Tiwari
Stars: Varun Dhawan, Janhvi Kapoor
Rating: 1/5
Fire and Fury
By Michael Wolff,
Henry Holt