"Bread basket?" volunteers Samantha, thrusting a pannier in what she presumes is my direction.
I wave a hand in the air, eventually land on something smooth and round, and plop it down in front of me. No point in asking whether it is the rosemary or olive and cheese variety, nor where the butter dish is - my attempts at stabbing a knife where I think it might be located are at best fruitless, at worst in danger of causing myself or someone else an injury.
Restaurant reviewsOur guide to the UAE's restaurants
From fine dining to 'cheap as chips,' here is our extensive archive of restaurant reviews
Reviews
This is Dine in the Dark, a new venture in Dubai that gets diners to eat in pitch darkness. The idea is that eating becomes a much more sensory experience as you touch, smell and savour your food rather than relying on sight.
By any standards, it's a novel way to enjoy a night out at a restaurant, although the concept is not a new one. Staff at Nineteen in The Address Montgomerie, Emirates Hills, got the idea from similar ventures in Europe and the US.
Is there any substance in the theory that a loss of vision heightens your other senses? The popular perception is that the blind have a highly developed sense of hearing.
Researchers at the Montreal Neurological Institute in Canada recently tested both blind and sighted subjects and found those who were born blind scored highest on pitch perception.
In one test, subjects blocked one ear and were asked to identify where sounds were coming from in a room that had been fitted with hidden speakers. Half of the blind people were accurate in detecting the source.
But what about taste? Pepsi famously came up with the blind taste test challenge in 1975 to see whether customers preferred it to Coca-Cola. They did - until they saw the labels.
The notion behind eating in pitch blackness is that the lack of visual stimulation not only enhances your palate and makes you appreciate the true flavours of the food, but also affects how you interact socially and emotionally.
At Dans le Noir in London, Opaque in the US and Unsicht-Bar in Germany, diners are served by blind waiters. The restaurants waste no time in smugly pointing out the role reversal where "blind people actually become your eyes" - not so much the blind leading the blind as the blind leading the hungry.
Dans le Noir even holds themed evenings, although when I ask whether its in-house cookery lesson is conducted in the dark, the reservations manager snorts in derision and scoffs: "No - that would be ridiculous."
Hiring a professional belly dancer to entertain guests, however, is apparently perfectly acceptable - and no doubt worth it for the unwittingly entertaining footage of guests who, under cover of darkness, throw off all social restraints as they jerk spasmodically to the music, arms flailing wildly. One even tries twirling the belly dancer around.
Back in Dubai, where appearance is all-important, the practicalities of avoiding any embarrassing spillages seem to have bypassed most of the 36 guests. All are dressed to the nines in the most glamorous evening wear - either brave or foolhardy, considering there is a good chance they will shortly be wearing their meal.
Giant-size napkins help, although bibs might have been more useful. We are given a brief run-through on where our cutlery and glasses are placed while the lights are still on.
Staff are bracing themselves for breakages; indeed, Geoffrey Atonya, who has given himself the rather grandiose title of "water captain", has already smashed a couple of glasses in a practice run. For unlike some darkened restaurants where the waiters are given night-vision goggles, the staff at Nineteen will also be fumbling their way around in the dark as they serve the seated diners. Health and safety executives would have a field day in this place.
Vast windows that usually offer a picturesque view of the golf course have been blacked out for the purpose of tonight's escapades; a heavy black curtain has been draped at the entrance to ensure no light trickles through. For extra measure, we are given eyemasks for a complete blackout experience.
Having little faith in my own ability to detect flavours, I have brought along Samantha Wood, a food blogger, as my backup. We are seated with a family of four and the lights go out.
There is a moment of silence as everyone adjusts to the dark and a few nervous giggles. And then the strangest thing happens. A cacophony of noise erupts as everyone attempts to talk at once.
Without being able to see who else is speaking and no concept of the distance between themselves and other diners, people are talking over each other and any volume gauge goes out of the window. Civilised, muted conversation is impossible; it is more of a case of shouting at each other. Bang goes the theory of improved hearing, then.
The first mystery course is ferried out and after a grope for cutlery (there is no point in adhering to the formality of working your way in from the outside), we dig in.
The initial attempts to get anything on a fork prove futile; I simply taste cold, hard metal. On the third try, I get a mouthful of what seems like mashed potato. Samantha insists there is asparagus in there somewhere, so I persevere, but simply get more mashed potato - until an explosion of revoltingly strong fish roe in my mouth.
There is a quiver of apprehension from the family at our table. Mrs B, who declares she has an adventurous palate, wanted to give Dine in the Dark a go as she thought it would be "unique".
Mr B is rather more cautious: he dislikes anything raw. "Everything has to be cremated," he says apologetically.
But there is no room for picky diners here where it is impossible to see what you are eating and he gamely ploughs on.
Course two is brought out and again, all I taste is mashed potato. I start to wonder if this is a bad joke to see if we can spot that we are being fed four identical dishes. Wait, there are globules of a strong-tasting cheese - Gorgonzola? Roquefort? - which lead me to conclude it is risotto. That, and the fact the waiter accidentally asks how I like my risotto.
Mrs B is rather less impressed and by course three - a sort of deep-fried fish stick on more mashed potato - announces: "I don't like any of it."
It turns out she is not just talking about the food. She hates Dubai. She dislikes brunches. She can't abide the people.
It seems the dark does impinge on social interactions - by removing any inhibitions or normal social etiquette. Not only are we invisible, it seems they have forgotten we are here.
As she rants, I feel Samantha gripping my knee under the table in a silent code. At least, I hope it's Samantha.
In the gloom - we quickly abandon the eyemasks and start to make out vague shadows as our eyes adjust - we can see Mr B hunching over his plate. He, at least, says he has enjoyed his meal, which has surprised him as a fussy eater.
By the time dessert is served, Samantha has given up and whips out her mobile phone to use the light as a torch. She has barely touched a thing and wails: "I'm still hungry."
I'm guessing there is ice cream involved but all I can taste is cold mashed potato. My palate seems to disprove the theory that our sense of taste is enhanced when sight is removed. If anything, not being able to see is more confounding.
Samantha agrees: "For me, food is about colour and presentation as well as taste, texture and smell. If you take the first two out of the equation, the eating experience is restricted and a little odd."
As soon as the meal is over, the entire restaurant empties out into the lit bar, grateful to shed some light on what we have just consumed. We learn the Dh495 meal consisted of white asparagus panna cotta with oysters, stuffed chicken breast and cuttle fish fries on celeriac purée and deconstructed banoffee pie with popcorn ice cream.
And therein lies the problem: it is food which is just too clever for its own good, when what you want are simple, tactile, textured dishes that stimulate your olfactory receptors as well as your taste buds.
As a social experiment however, it is fascinating - although Mr and Mrs B might not be in a hurry to return.
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
- Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
- Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
- Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
Cultural fiesta
What: The Al Burda Festival
When: November 14 (from 10am)
Where: Warehouse421, Abu Dhabi
The Al Burda Festival is a celebration of Islamic art and culture, featuring talks, performances and exhibitions. Organised by the Ministry of Culture and Knowledge Development, this one-day event opens with a session on the future of Islamic art. With this in mind, it is followed by a number of workshops and “masterclass” sessions in everything from calligraphy and typography to geometry and the origins of Islamic design. There will also be discussions on subjects including ‘Who is the Audience for Islamic Art?’ and ‘New Markets for Islamic Design.’ A live performance from Kuwaiti guitarist Yousif Yaseen should be one of the highlights of the day.
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
German intelligence warnings
- 2002: "Hezbollah supporters feared becoming a target of security services because of the effects of [9/11] ... discussions on Hezbollah policy moved from mosques into smaller circles in private homes." Supporters in Germany: 800
- 2013: "Financial and logistical support from Germany for Hezbollah in Lebanon supports the armed struggle against Israel ... Hezbollah supporters in Germany hold back from actions that would gain publicity." Supporters in Germany: 950
- 2023: "It must be reckoned with that Hezbollah will continue to plan terrorist actions outside the Middle East against Israel or Israeli interests." Supporters in Germany: 1,250
Source: Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution
ACL Elite (West) - fixtures
Monday, Sept 30
Al Sadd v Esteghlal (8pm)
Persepolis v Pakhtakor (8pm)
Al Wasl v Al Ahli (8pm)
Al Nassr v Al Rayyan (10pm)
Tuesday, Oct 1
Al Hilal v Al Shorta (10pm)
Al Gharafa v Al Ain (10pm)
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
UAE tour of the Netherlands
UAE squad: Rohan Mustafa (captain), Shaiman Anwar, Ghulam Shabber, Mohammed Qasim, Rameez Shahzad, Mohammed Usman, Adnan Mufti, Chirag Suri, Ahmed Raza, Imran Haider, Mohammed Naveed, Amjad Javed, Zahoor Khan, Qadeer Ahmed
Fixtures:
Monday, 1st 50-over match
Wednesday, 2nd 50-over match
Thursday, 3rd 50-over match
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
Company%20profile%20
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Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
Racecard
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Kanye%20West
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How to watch Ireland v Pakistan in UAE
When: The one-off Test starts on Friday, May 11
What time: Each day’s play is scheduled to start at 2pm UAE time.
TV: The match will be broadcast on OSN Sports Cricket HD. Subscribers to the channel can also stream the action live on OSN Play.
Emergency phone numbers in the UAE
Estijaba – 8001717 – number to call to request coronavirus testing
Ministry of Health and Prevention – 80011111
Dubai Health Authority – 800342 – The number to book a free video or voice consultation with a doctor or connect to a local health centre
Emirates airline – 600555555
Etihad Airways – 600555666
Ambulance – 998
Knowledge and Human Development Authority – 8005432 ext. 4 for Covid-19 queries
TECH%20SPECS%3A%20APPLE%20WATCH%20SERIES%208
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The specs: 2018 Harley-Davidson Fat Boy
Price, base / as tested Dh97,600
Engine 1,745cc Milwaukee-Eight v-twin engine
Transmission Six-speed gearbox
Power 78hp @ 5,250rpm
Torque 145Nm @ 3,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined 5.0L / 100km (estimate)
New Zealand 57-0 South Africa
Tries: Rieko Ioane, Nehe Milner-Skudder (2), Scott Barrett, Brodie Retallick, Ofa Tu'ungfasi, Lima Sopoaga, Codie Taylor. Conversions: Beauden Barrett (7). Penalty: Beauden Barrett
RESULTS
Main card
Bantamweight 56.4kg: Mehdi Eljamari (MAR) beat Abrorbek Madiminbekov (UZB), Split points decision
Super heavyweight 94 kg: Adnan Mohammad (IRN) beat Mohammed Ajaraam (MAR), Split points decision
Lightweight 60kg: Zakaria Eljamari (UAE) beat Faridoon Alik Zai (AFG), RSC round 3
Light heavyweight 81.4kg: Taha Marrouni (MAR) beat Mahmood Amin (EGY), Unanimous points decision
Light welterweight 64.5kg: Siyovush Gulmamadov (TJK) beat Nouredine Samir (UAE), Unanimous points decision
Light heavyweight 81.4kg: Ilyass Habibali (UAE) beat Haroun Baka (ALG), KO second round
Essentials
The flights
Emirates, Etihad and Malaysia Airlines all fly direct from the UAE to Kuala Lumpur and on to Penang from about Dh2,300 return, including taxes.
Where to stay
In Kuala Lumpur, Element is a recently opened, futuristic hotel high up in a Norman Foster-designed skyscraper. Rooms cost from Dh400 per night, including taxes. Hotel Stripes, also in KL, is a great value design hotel, with an infinity rooftop pool. Rooms cost from Dh310, including taxes.
In Penang, Ren i Tang is a boutique b&b in what was once an ancient Chinese Medicine Hall in the centre of Little India. Rooms cost from Dh220, including taxes.
23 Love Lane in Penang is a luxury boutique heritage hotel in a converted mansion, with private tropical gardens. Rooms cost from Dh400, including taxes.
In Langkawi, Temple Tree is a unique architectural villa hotel consisting of antique houses from all across Malaysia. Rooms cost from Dh350, including taxes.
Pad Man
Dir: R Balki
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonam Kapoor, Radhika Apte
Three-and-a-half stars
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Sanju
Produced: Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Rajkumar Hirani
Director: Rajkumar Hirani
Cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Vicky Kaushal, Paresh Rawal, Anushka Sharma, Manish’s Koirala, Dia Mirza, Sonam Kapoor, Jim Sarbh, Boman Irani
Rating: 3.5 stars
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The specs
Engine: 77.4kW all-wheel-drive dual motor
Power: 320bhp
Torque: 605Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh219,000
On sale: Now
APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)
Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits
Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Storage: 128/256/512GB
Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4
Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps
Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID
Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight
In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter
Price: From Dh2,099
The specs
Engine: Four electric motors, one at each wheel
Power: 579hp
Torque: 859Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh825,900
On sale: Now
88 Video's most popular rentals
Avengers 3: Infinity War: an American superhero film released in 2018 and based on the Marvel Comics story.
Sholay: a 1975 Indian action-adventure film. It follows the adventures of two criminals hired by police to catch a vagabond. The film was panned on release but is now considered a classic.
Lucifer: is a 2019 Malayalam-language action film. It dives into the gritty world of Kerala’s politics and has become one of the highest-grossing Malayalam films of all time.