“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days," Benjamin Franklin famously said. The very nature of the UAE as a bustling hub of cultures, nationalities, travel and jet-setting means many of us have hosted friends and families at our homes for short or extended periods. In turn, many of us have been house guests ourselves, often when travelling back to home countries to visit.
A quick poll of my friends revealed some choice house guest anecdotes or horror stories, depending on your position. There's the guest who came for a week and ended up staying for four months. The young couple who holidayed, ate and were entertained rent-free for two weeks and on their last day asked to be compensated for the snacks and toilet paper they had contributed. The uncle who requested the four young children in the house "keep it down in the mornings" as their noise was interfering with his lie-ins. And the mother-in-law who rearranged the entire kitchen so that it "made more sense".
For me, a highlight was having two friends come to stay who booked an array of trips and spa sessions for themselves, completely forgetting to invite me, their host and friend. So, it's clear being a good house guest comes with myriad rules, both written and unwritten. Here are a few simple rules to polish up your good manners and be a good house guest, to ensure you get invited back.
Three easy rules for being a good house guest
“Franklin’s saying is a humorous way to highlight that even well-intentioned guests can become burdensome if they stay too long,” says Roya Squire, founder and director of Dubai Etiquette Academy. “The key is to gauge the situation based on your relationship with the host and be mindful of their comfort and preferences. There’s no strict rule on how long a visit should last; it’s more about being considerate and respectful.”
The three easy rules are to aim to be tidy, cheerful and helpful, says Squire. “By combining these qualities, you'll make a great impression and contribute to a pleasant visit.”
Whether staying in a guest room or on the sofa bed in the living room, it’s important to keep the space uncluttered, especially if your things are being kept in shared spaces. “Clean up after yourself. This shows respect for your host’s home," adds Squire.
Maintaining a positive attitude is also recommended, meaning no moaning unless that is, you have specifically gone to that person’s home to moan in instances such as job loss, relationship break up or failure to secure tickets for next year’s Oasis reunion concerts.
And finally, show appreciation for your host’s efforts. Squire adds: “Offer to assist with chores, meals or anything else your host might need. It’s a kind way to show gratitude.”
Common mistakes house guests make
It’s important to remember that during your stay you are a house guest and not a toddler who is unable to perform any tasks for themselves. “Relying too much on the host for meals, entertainment or other needs can place undue pressure on them,” says Squire. “Offering to help and being considerate of their time and resources is crucial.”
She also cites not respecting house rules as another major faux pas, suggesting guests clarify anything they’re not sure of with the host and always seek permission before eating or using the last of anything. “Failing to reciprocate hospitality or not offering to host the guest back can come across as ungrateful,” she adds. “A gesture of returning the favour shows appreciation and helps maintain a positive relationship.”
Always take a gift
Showing up empty-handed is a big no-no, not only from an array of cultural perspectives, but simply as a matter of politeness. “Arab culture 101: never go empty-handed to someone’s house even if you have to walk half a mile holding an orchid,” TikTok user Farahfezz notes, adding: “If I told my very Arab grandma I went somewhere empty-handed she would gasp!”
But what do you take with you? “For a short visit, such as morning coffee, popping in for tea or a dinner party, flowers, a small plant or a box of chocolate are simple and appreciated,” says Squire. “For longer stays, consider something more substantial, like a local speciality or souvenir from your city, or a personalised item such as monogrammed towels or a custom ornament. Little gifts for kids if they have any, or if your host has pets, a gift for their dog or cat is also a nice touch.”
It’s the small things …
If your idea of being a house guest is to do as little as possible during your stay, you can get away with looking helpful while keeping exertion to a minimum. “Offer to walk the dog, pick up groceries, or handle other small tasks,” says Squire. “Assist with cooking or cleaning up after meals, keep your area tidy and follow any house rules.”
… but also the big things!
To really show your appreciation for your host, it’s suggested you throw either time or money at the situation. “Treat your host to a meal at a nice restaurant, giving them a break from cooking and chores,” says Squire. “Alternatively, contribute to any larger tasks or projects around the house, if appropriate. If your host insists you relax and not worry about chores, graciously accept their offer. In such cases, you could consider tipping the household staff as a gesture of appreciation for their extra work."
